Alternate Universe
by Blueninjamanga22
Summary: Where every chapter is in a different Alternate Universe, with no connections or explanations as to why. T for language, multiple pairings.
1. Shingeki no Hetalia

_**This is an idea I had; I don't know how well it'll work. You're all totally allowed to request AUs, because I have next to no ideas. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter 1 ~ * ~ ***_

_**-**__** Shingeki no Hetalia -**_  


_Even in a cage, a bird will sing. _

On most days, Feliciano Vargas would simply sit at the window of his living room, watching out the window. He would hum under his breath, he would pray, but for the most part, he would watch. Watch and wait. But especially, he would pray.

_Sing a song to mask his sorrow. _

"You shouldn't worry, Feli," Francis said, patting him on the back. All the while, Feli sat at the window, waiting; watching; praying. Always praying.

"He'll be alright," Francis gave him a look of pity. "Kiku's with him. They won't let each other die"

"I'm still worried," Feliciano said, pressing his forehead to the glass of the window and staring outside.

_Sorrow created by the cage._

* * *

There was nothing heard but the sound of thundering footsteps and the slight sound of metal zipping through the air. Some followed below on horseback, as the amount of sound you created meant nothing in the forest. Their captain, the man with slicked blonde hair and striking blue eyes with a gaze that could kill, turned and barked orders.

"7-Meter-Class titan ahead, I want Arlovskaya and Karpusi on the left flank, and Braginski and Jones to the right. Wang and Yong-Soo, use your gear for an aerial attack. Honda, stick by me"

"Yes, sir!" the soldiers exclaimed, turning to whatever direction they were supposed to go in. Honda, the shortest of the men with ink-colored hair and dark eyes to match, stuck by his Captain.

"You have a plan, I presume?" he asked.

"We attack from all sides, corner it, and bring it back for research. Kirkland is going to go nuts if we get him a titan," the Captain didn't smile; he simply kept his eyes forward, watching his soldiers attack. "If this works, it'll be our first land reclaimed from the titans"

"Oh, joy" Honda replied, as his eyes showed no emotion, just empty pools of brown. Both Honda and the captain seemed to have no excitement in their souls, as if they'd seen too much for men who were so young. And just as they hoped for victory, they were also prepared for defeat.

Being the youngest in the group, Jones was the first to attack, swords drawn and prepared to strike at the titan. He made an aim for the titan's neck, but the monster simply turned around and swatted him out of the air as if he was a fly.

"Alfred!" Arlovskaya shouted, turning her head just so see him crash into a tree, blood splattering onto the bark. The poor idiot must have accidentally stabbed himself with his own sword.

"Arlovskaya; focus!" the captain snapped.

"But Captain Beilschmidt—!" she argued.

"He'll recover! Focus on capturing the titan!" Beilschmidt snapped, turning on his own 3D-Maneuver gear and flying up to one of the higher branches of the tree, signaling for Honda to follow him. The two landed, watching the soldiers zip around the titan, stabbing him in multiple places and attempting to reach his neck. But the titan fought back hard, swatting away anyone who came near him.

Yong Soo fired a single rope, pinning the titan's hand to a tree. The other soldiers began to do similarly, holding down its legs, arms, and head.

By then, Beilschmidt couldn't help but smile. Maybe they were _winning_. Maybe they could take back this territory and grow crops and raise livestock, maybe they could live outside the wall. Maybe Kirkland would find out something phenomenal about the titan, and then they'd know how to defeat the titans. Maybe he could make Feli happy again—.

At that moment, the titan swung out an arm, hitting Beilschmidt straight in the chest. Honda let out a cry as he made an attempt to grab him, but Beilschmidt seemed to slip through his fingers. And he then he fell. Fell from that high branch, from the tree that was the size of a small building.

Down,

Down,

Down.

Until he landed on the ground, flat on his back. The blood clouded his vision, as the titan continued to fight back, and the soldiers began to realize that they're leader was down. Sounds became something close to vibrations rather than words; he could tell that Honda was barking out orders to the other soldiers. He could tell that at least three people were asking if he was alright. But the main thing that concerned him was the pain. The pain in his back, in his spine, in his head; his entire body hurt like hell.

But it would be worth it . . . if they could just capture this titan. Just this one.

_Feli_

Beilschmidt loved him so much. Was this really the end? He didn't want to die. Not without seeing him first. Not on the forest floor, hair drenched in his own blood. Not when all it took was the flick of a titan's finger to get him down.

_I want you to be happy. _

His eyes began to flutter, his breathing began to slow. Honda was yelling something at him now; ordering him not to die on him, probably. Stupid man; _Beilschmidt _was the captain, and captains are the ones to be giving out orders.

_Please be happy_.

* * *

"The Scouting Legion is back!"

By those words, Feliciano leapt out of his seat, running out the door at warp speed. He wove through the people, dodging his way through the crowd. He grumbled when he couldn't see, standing up on a soap box to get a better look.

As always, it was heartbreaking to see. Soldiers that were missing limbs, crying teenagers, every single one of them drenched in their own blood. The Jones boy, Alfred, stumbled his way over to his brother, who was crying like a baby as he hugged him, tight enough as to refuse to never let him go.

"Kiku!" Feliciano exclaimed, running over to the small Japanese man. He gave him a quick hug, and then held him back by the shoulders. "Where's Ludwig"

Kiku's face darkened; and he turned and pointed to one of the horses. Ludwig was as proud as usual, his entire head covered in bandages that were stained a velvety red. He was covered in bruises, one of his eyes was swollen shut, and his arm hung limp beside of him, as if it were never going to move again.

"L-Ludwig . . .?" Feliciano asked, beginning to tear up. As soon as Ludwig dismounted his horse, Feli broke out into tears and hugged him closely.

"What h-happened—to—you?" Feliciano sobbed, clutching onto his shirt.

"I fell," Ludwig answered simply, holding him closely.

"From how high?!" Feliciano demanded.

"You know, a couple of meters"

"Ludwig!"

"If I had a choice, I wouldn't have done it"

Feli shook his head, latching onto his arm and leading him back to their house. He sat him down, preparing to make him some coffee. "So how did it go?"

"Well, the mission was a complete failure and we lost nine soldiers," Ludwig huffed. "Right now, the only ones that are in fighting shape are Arlovskaya, Jones, Yong Soo, Honda, Wang, Karpusi, and Braginski. And Jones doesn't look so good, but he claims to be in a stable shape"

"You mean Natalya, Alfred, Im Yong Soo, Kiku, Yao, and Heracles?" Feli smiled, handing him a hot cup of coffee. "You know I don't go around calling them by their last names"

"I always will," Ludwig responded, and before he could take a sip out of his coffee, the liquid shook. And that was the first of many. The vibrations then caused the table to shake, the pictures on the wall to move, even for Feli to lose his footing.

At that moment, Kiku opened the door to their house. "Hey, what's going on—?"

"_Get down_!" Ludwig yelled, pushing Feliciano so that he slammed straight into Kiku. The force of Ludwig's push was enough to send them tumbling backwards out onto the streets, just as the wall exploded into a billion pieces; one of the pieces of rubble crashing straight into their house, destroying it in a single hit.

" _Ludwig_!" Feli shrieked; tears rushing down his face as his eyes widened in horror. Ludwig was still in that house, he was still under all of that rubble.

"Feli," Kiku tugged on Feliciano's sleeve, his eyes wide and his voice breathless. Feliciano turned, and then gasped.

There was a face, colossal and skinless, peering over the wall. Its fingers curled over the wall's edge, overlooking every single person as if they were options on a buffet table. It was like a titan in both size and appearance, but there's no way a titan could be this big . . .!

"Feli, we need to get out of here!" Kiku exclaimed, grabbing Feliciano by the arm and tugging him backwards. The two men were different matters. Kiku was a solider, he was ready to move on and get things done when someone around him died, friend or comrade. But Feli was a different matter. The love of his life was trapped under layers of rock and wood, and he wasn't about to let it stay that way.

"_Ludwig_!" Feli shouted, running forward and digging through the rubble. He through aside anything, from stone, to wood, to pictures, until he found Ludwig, his lower half still stuck in the mess.

"_Ludwig, thank God_!" Feli quickly took his face in his hands and gave him a quick, long kiss on the mouth. "_Don't worry, Ludwig, I'm going to get you out of there_—!"

"No, don't bother," Ludwig coughed, spitting out a bit of blood. He was injured before, and getting crushed by a house wasn't making his chances of living any better. "Just go on without me. Go with Kiku. Be safe"

"_Not without you_!" Feli exclaimed, desperately trying to get him out from under there. By then, Kiku was grabbing him by the shoulders, trying to haul him away from Ludwig. But Feli was determined, and nothing was going to stop him. "_I'm not going to leave you behind, Ludwig! I love you!_"

"Kiku," Ludwig breathed, looking up to his most trusted soldier. "Get Feliciano someplace far away from here. Keep him safe. Promise me you'll keep him safe"

Kiku paused for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes, captain"

"Thank you," Ludwig coughed. Kiku then grabbed Feliciano and tossed him right over his shoulder, running as fast as he could. For such a little man, Kiku had some strength. All the while, Feli fought and kicked, screaming and crying for him to let him go. That they could still save him.

Ludwig watched, tears forming in his eyes, as they began to get farther and farther away. He saved Feli, and that was all that was really important.

_Feli_

He'd lived a good life. He was the leader of the Scouting Region. He'd fallen in love. He'd met people who were both great soldiers and great friends. He saved the life of the person he loved most in this world. And in his own way, he contributed to the war against the titans. What more could he ask for?

_I want you to be happy_

He felt the pressure lifted off his legs, and found himself face-to-face with a titan. It reached down, grabbing him. He didn't struggle, or fight. His legs wouldn't move anyway. There was no chance for him. This was the end.

_Please be happy_

The titan gave him that smile that all titans seemed to give their prey, and he could feel its fingers move. Perhaps it was toying with him?

"You shouldn't play with your food," Ludwig said, with what little voice he had left.

The titan looked at him, its eyes blank and emotionless, saying nothing at all. Ludwig didn't know if he had even insulted him in anyway at all. The titan started at him for a moment, longer and then opened its mouth.

_I love you, Feliciano. _

_CRUNCH_

* * *

As soon as they got on the boat, Feliciano's way of saying thank you was punching Kiku straight in the face. Kiku staggered a little bit, a bit of blood dripping from his nose. The man regained his footing, wiped his nose, and then looked at Feliciano with his emotionless eyes.

"You're welcome"

"_I hate you_!" Feliciano snapped, tears rushing down his face. "_You could have saved him_!"

"No, I couldn't have," Kiku looked like he was getting slightly annoyed. "A titan was coming and he was trapped under a house. What was I supposed to do?"

"Not leave him behind!" Feliciano snapped.

"That's what he asked me to do!" Kiku growled. "Ludwig asked me to protect you, Feliciano, and that's what I intend to do"

"If you're going to end up doing to me what you did to Ludwig, I don't want your protection," Feliciano snapped, gripping the railing of the boat as he sobbed. "I hate you"

There was a pause, as Kiku stood beside him, his hands gripping the railing as well. But unlike Feliciano, he was shaking from head to toe. Feli noticed this, and when he looked over, he noticed that Kiku was beginning to cry.

"I—I didn't want to leave him behind," Kiku wiped his eyes quickly, but you could still here the sobs in his voice. "I had no choice. That's part of being a soldier"

Feliciano didn't know how to respond to that. In a way, he could understand why he did what he did. It was what he was taught to do in this kind of situation. But that didn't make it right. That didn't make it acceptable. And that didn't make him like him in any way more than it did before.

"Ludwig asked me to keep you safe, and that's what I'm going to do, whether you like it or not," Kiku said, looking off at the setting sun. "You have two options right now. You could sulk for the rest of your life and pretend like Ludwig's still around or you could live the life that Ludwig gave up for you. It's your choice"

_Even in a cage, a bird will sing._

Feli didn't know what to do. Ludwig was his whole world. He thought they were going to get married and adopt children. He though they were going to go on dates. He thought they were going to grow old together. But some odd twisted thing called fate made that impossible.

_Sing a song to mask his sorrow_.

He had to fix his life now that Ludwig was gone. He wasn't ever going to fall in love ever again. _Never_. No one in the world could replace Ludwig, not in any of the walls. But maybe he could somehow find a second purpose in life.

_Sorrow created by the cage. _

The world was falling apart around him. The wall was broken. The titans were invading. There wasn't someone big and strong like Ludwig to protect him anymore; there was just Kiku, a man who was little and scrawny-looking and only protected him because he was asked to. Or maybe "ordered" to, considering that Ludwig was technically still his captain, even in death. He thought that the wall was what was causing that longing feeling in his heart, but he felt unsafe and exposed without it. Without the wall or without Ludwig, he wasn't really sure.

_But even when that cage is broken,_

"Kiku," Italy said, turning to the Japanese man. "I want to start training. I want to join the Scouting Legion!"

It was what Ludwig would have done if their roles had been reversed. He was going to fight off all the titans. They were going to pay for what they did to Ludwig. For taking away his life and ruining Feli's. For even with Ludwig dead, Feliciano sure as hell wasn't going to forget him.

"The Scouting Legion?" Kiku asked, his eyes wide. "What for?"

"I'm going to kill the titans," Feliciano said, gripping on to the railing, tears dripping from his angry brown eyes. "I'm going to slaughter every last one of them. They are going to pay for what they did to Ludwig. They're all going to pay.

_The bird will never forget that song._

* * *

_**So there's a taste of what Hetalia would be like in the 'Attack on Titan' universe. No, there will not be a continuation. Every chapter is a new AU, so bring on the ideas. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja**_

_***Bagpipes exit!***_


	2. Hetalia Academy for Misbehaved Boys

_**Thanks for all the reviews you guys! I'm going to get to write all sorts of AUs here, and that includes everything, any type of scenario—high school, 2p!, gender-bent, other animes, even regular TV shows. Just as long as I've watched them. If I haven't, I can't exactly write a chapter for it.**_

_**Not all of these chapters are going to be sad or angst-y like the last one. **_

_**And I'll get to your requests, but I really wanted to write this one. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter Two ~ * ~ ***_

_**-Hetalia Academy for Misbehaved Boys**_ –

_Tree, rock, tree, rock—squirrel—tree, rock, tree . . ._

The list could go on and on, as Alfred Jones stared out of the bus window. He wasn't usually reduced to looking out of bus windows, especially not this early in the mornings. But he didn't have Matthew with him this time, so things were about to get really boring this year.

This year marked the fifth year Alfred would be going to Kirkland's Academy for Misbehaved Boys, and the first year he'd be going without his brother. Five years was important mark; half a decade was a long time to be going to the same old hellhole. At the beginning of their fourth consecutive year, they planned to bring a big ol' cake and sing when they got to five years. Something like 'happy five years to us!' in the tune of the happy birthday song. Wouldn't _that_ put good old Kirkland's Victoria Secret panties in a twist? But Alfred hardly saw the use in celebrating without Matthew.

After the summer of year four—translating to fourth grade to anyone else—Alfred and his brother decided that they didn't want to even hit year five. The plan was simple; Matt was to beg their parents to let them stay at home for the fifth grade. And it worked for the most part in the absolute worst way possible: they'd convinced their parents that Matt was a cured child, while Al needed another year or two of tough boarding school learning to straighten up.

And that made sense in a way. Matt was an innocent looking kid, with big violet eyes and round-looking glasses, though he could be just as mischievous as Al when the time came. And Alfred just naturally had this impish, I-pissed-in-your-coffee kind of look to him. So, on the second month of summer, their parents announced that Matt was going to attend Kingsbury Elementary, the one that was about a five or so minute drive from their house, and Al was to return for another year at Kirkland's.

"I'll convince them you let you start middle school here," Matt said when they were waiting for the bus, with his two suitcases and his backpack, tears rushing down his face. "You promise you'll e-mail me?"

"Yeah," Alfred smiled, trying hard not to cry. "You know how good I am at hiding stuff from Kirkland"

He wasn't going to pretend like he wasn't hurt. He didn't want to go back to Kirkland's without Matt, and Matt obviously didn't want to go to Kingsbury without Al. But he wasn't going to sit here and cry about it. Just one more year, and then he and Matt could go to middle school together.

_Tree, rock, tree, rock, tree, rock—deer—tree, rock, tree . . . _

Alfred looked around, trying to see any familiar faces. Hardly anyone stayed at Kirkland's for any more than a year, two if they were really bad. Five years was Kirkland's longest record, and Al wore the title proudly. So, as usual, there was a truckload of new faces.

There were the obvious bad-asses of their hometown; there a blonde boy who wore his face like it was a mask. Then there was this innocent looking ginger who was humming under his breath in Italian—obviously pure evil. It's the cute ones you gotta watch out for. Everyone's here for a reason; one day they're adorable, the next they've broken someone's nose.

There was an Asian kid who'd made a cat's cradle between his fingers, and a tall kid (_way_ too tall to be in the fifth grade) who watched him as he made it with wonder, as if he'd never seen a yarn trick before. Second-timers. Alfred recognized Ivan Braginski because the last time he saw him, he was trying to break his face. And the Asian kid was Wan Yao—he used to steal food from the cafeteria and sell it for half-price to kids in the hallway.

You could always tell who was here for the first time. There was a brunette kid who needed a haircut that was rocking back and forth, hugging his knees and sobbing like a newborn baby. The blonde boy next to him—Alfred would now know them as the 'girl-hair-duo,' it was official—looked like he was painting his nails or something. The blonde kid also had a number of clips in his hair, so Alfred was rethinking if he was a boy or a girl.

Alfred leaned back in his seat, and then heard noise from behind him. He sat up and looked over the seat, seeing for the first time who was sitting behind him. It was a boy, and Alfred knew that he wasn't a second-timer, because he would've recognized him if he was. But he wasn't crying or muttering to himself in denial like a first-timer would, he was simply playing on a Nintendo DS (it looked like Pokémon, so no wonder he was so calm.)

Alfred folded his arms on the seat, and then rested his chin on them. "'Sup?"

The boy looked up from his game for a mere second. It was an Asian boy with the typical Asian features; black hair, brown eyes, creamy skin. He didn't seem very interested in Alfred, so he simply returned his attention back to training his Dewott.

"I said hi," Alfred said, leaning a bit forward in his seat. "_Helloooo_?"

The boy's eyes glanced up for a second, and then returned his attention back to his game.

"You do speak English, right?" Alfred asked, raising an eyebrow.

No response, just the sound of controls clicking.

"Oh, sorry," Alfred cleared his throat. "_Ehm_—kon'ichiwa, pan-fried-noodles, Mulan-Chan-desu—"

"I'm from Charlotte," the boy said abruptly, pausing his game.

Alfred paused, raising an eyebrow. "Where's that; China?"

"North Carolina," the boy rolled his eyes, and when he saw that Alfred didn't know where that was either, he added. "It's a state"

"Oh," Alfred shrugged. "I'm from Manhattan. That's in—"

"New York, I know," the boy continued, unpausing his game and beginning to play again.

"Smart-ass," Alfred muttered under his breath, and then returned his attention to the boy. "My names Alfred, but you can call me Al. What's your name?"

"Kiku, Kiku Honda," the boy responded, his eyes not leaving his Nintendo screen.

"And you're sure you're from Charlotte?" Alfred raised an eyebrow. He went to school with a boy named Wan Yao, and if anything sounded like an Asian name, it was something like 'Kiku Honda.'

"_Yes_, my parents are Japanese" Kiku rolled his eyes. "They're both really into the whole Japanese culture thing"

"You seem nice enough, why'd they send you here?" Alfred asked.

"_They're_ really into Japanese culture, _I'm _not," Kiku responded. "That apparently categorizes me as 'misbehaved.'"

"Oh," Alfred thought for a moment, and then pulled out a packet of gum from his pocket. "Gum?"

"No, thank you," Kiku said.

There was a pause.

"Gum?" Alfred offered for a second time.

"No, thank you," Kiku said.

There was a short pause, Alfred tapped his fingers on the seat, and then said. "Gum—?"

"Why do you keep asking me if I want gum?!" Kiku snapped.

Alfred paused for a second, and then raised an eyebrow. "I seriously doubt you're from Charlotte now. Well, Chink-o-de-Mayo, here in _America_, kids love gum. And since we're going to that hellhole of a school, gum is going to become a precious material seriously fast. So let's put two and two together here. Me offering you gum is my way of offering to be your friend"

For a moment, Kiku simply started at him. His logic was idiotic, but in its own little way, it made sense. Gum was going to get valuable soon, in a child's terms, considering there weren't any shopping districts at a disciplinary school. But still, he couldn't see how he was supposed to figure out that he wanted to be his friend just because he offered him gum.

"So, I'll ask you again," Alfred said, holding out the pack. "You want gum?"

Kiku thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "No, thank you"

* * *

"Students, take your seats," their teacher, a man named Arthur Kirkland, who demanded to be called 'Mr. Kirkland' but was mostly called 'Mr. Mega-Brows,' said. "When, I call your name, please say either 'here' or 'present.' Adnan, Sadik?"

"Here," a kid whose face was covered by his hoodie said, looking down at the floor. His eyes were also behind a pair of dark sunglasses. Alfred guessed that he was here for killing someone and was trying to protect his identity; nothing new from the usual.

Kirkland made a mark on his clipboard. "Beilschmidt, Ludwig?"

"Here," the blonde boy with the serious-like face from the bus said, tapping his fingers on the desk.

"Braginski, Ivan?"

"Here," Ivan said, shifting his legs around, considering he didn't fit under the desk.

_Freak_, Alfred thought bitterly, chewing down on his gum.

"Stop that," Kiku hissed under his breath from the seat next to him. "It's annoying. You sound like a cow"

"Honda, Kiku?" Kirkland said, looking up.

"Here," Kiku raised his hand like a good boy should, and Kirkland smiled and nodded in his direction. Looked like someone already picked a favorite, and it wasn't even ten minutes into class.

Kirkland made a face, like he'd just tasted something sour and hated it. "Jones, Alfred F.?"

"'Sup?" Alfred said, causing a wave of small giggles to go around the room.

Kirkland rolled his eyes, and then glanced down at his clipboard. "That's strange. Where's the _other _one?"

"If you mean Matt, we merged together over the summer so we share the same physical body. That's why he's not on the list," Alfred answered sarcastically, and the ginger kid sitting behind him laughed as if that was the funniest thing on the earth.

Kirkland scoffed. "So Matthew got to stay home; it's good that _one_ twin learnt"

Alfred rolled his eyes, resting his chin on his palm as Kirkland kept reading off the names. "Køhler, Mathias?"

"Here!" that boy used so much hair gel, Alfred could smell it from the other side of the room.

"Karpusi, Heracles?"

"Here," it was a boy with a sleepy-sounding voice, and that was probably because he snapped awake when his name was called. When Kirkland moved on to the next person, he went back to sleep.

"Laurinaitis, Toris?"

"P-present," that was the brunette kid that was crying on the bus.

"Łukasiewicz, Feliks?"

"Here," that was blonde girl-boy with the pink nails. Apparently, girl-boy is actually a boy.

"Vargas, Feliciano?"

"Me! Me, me, me! That's me!" the ginger kid that was sitting behind him called out, waving his hand around excitedly, smiling like an idiot and jumping up and down. Yup, 'Feliciano' was _definitely _going to break someone's nose tomorrow.

"Vargas, Lovino?"

"Me," a boy that sat in the very back muttered, and he had to repeat it because not even the boy sitting in front of him could hear him. If there was anyone who didn't want to be here, it was him.

"Wang, Yao?"

"Here," Yao said, still playing with his cat's cradle.

"Wang, Kaoru?"

"Here," that was the boy who got suspended last year for lighting firecrackers in the cafeteria.

"And . . . Vach Zwingli?"

"Here," also a second-timer, Alfred recognized him. He was only ten years old, and he knew how to handle a shotgun like a pro. He proved that when he hit Mathias between the eyes with a pebble using his slingshot last year.

"Ok, that's everyone," Kirkland turned, beginning the lesson.

Alfred leaned over to Kiku, whispering under his breath. "I wonder how the Vargas kids are such polar opposites. Like one of them looks like he could sing that happy song any minute now and the other one looks like a zombie"

Kiku giggled. "I guess you have a point"

"Hey," Alfred smirked, quickly making a two-pencils-and-rubber-band slingshot and setting his gum in the middle, aiming it at the back of Kirkland's head. "Watch this"

Alfred steadied his hand, aimed the gum wad, and as Kiku was covering his mouth and biting his palm to keep from giggling, he fired.

Just as Kirkland turned around.

"Now, who can tell me—?" he started, as the gum hit him straight between the eyes. But that wasn't the funny part. The hilarious part was that it got stuck in his eyebrows.

The class was stunned for a moment, but all it took was a single 'pfft!' sound from Alfred for the entire class to erupt in laughter. All the while, Kirkland looked like he was about to explode, slowly walking towards Alfred.

"Jones," he said through gritted teeth. "Do you know why your brother got to stay home?"

"Because he's the cute one?" Alfred smirked as he raised an eyebrow.

"You two have the _same face_," Kirkland snapped.

"Yeah, and he's the cute one. I'm the cool one," Alfred answered.

"Well doesn't this prove that being the _cool_ _one_ never got anyone anywhere in life?" Kirkland snapped.

"No. Being cool could get you a lot of places," Alfred said. "For example, if _you_ were cool when you were my age, you probably wouldn't be a teacher at a school for elementary delinquents"

"Oh, my God," Kiku's words turned to giggles half-way through his sentence, and that line only caused every boy to go into fits of laughter.

Kirkland seethed. "Look at that. On the first day, you've already got a partner in crime. Honda, Jones, meet me after class for detention"

Kiku looked absolutely horrified, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. "Mr. Kirkland, sir, I didn't—!"

"He didn't do anything!" Alfred exclaimed. "It was my idea; he even tried to stop me. You shouldn't punish him for something I did. After all, I'm the one with a record. Isn't it like me to this kinda stuff on the first day?"

Kirkland thought for a moment. "Since this is your first day, Honda, I'll let you off with a warning; Jones, detention. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir," both boys said in sync, returning to their schoolwork. But Alfred didn't notice that Kiku was looking at him in a whole new light.

* * *

In the course of five years, Alfred had sat through around 300 afternoons of detention. That wasn't an exact number, though; he'd lost count after a while. But it was still as boring as it was the very first time he got detention. The teacher in charge of it, Mr. Bonnefoy, liked to look through Tumblr feeds on his phone instead of watching the kids, so one could basically do whatever he liked.

At around 5:30, Mr. Bonnefoy unlocked the door (all while not taking his eyes of his dashboard) and set him free into the school. Alfred smiled; by far, Mr. Bonnefoy was his favorite teacher.

He walked into the hallway, pulling out his dorm number from his pocket. At that precise moment, he realized he wasn't alone. Kiku sat up from one of the hallway benches, and for a moment, the two boys just stared at each other, unsure of what to say.

"Kiku?" Alfred asked, deciding to state the obvious before anything else. "Were you waiting for me?"

Kiku didn't answer; he simply reached into his back pocket, and pulled out a packet of gum. "Do you want some gum?"

Alfred couldn't help but smile in response. "Yes, please"

* * *

_**I think I invented this AU. I haven't read every single fanfiction out there, and I've seen a lot of High School AUs, but I've never seen one like this. So I THINK I invented it, but I'm not really sure. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	3. NyoTalia

_**Thanks for the reviews, you guys! I do take requests, but it's not in any specific order. More like when I get an idea for a certain request or AU, I'll write about it. Otherwise it'd be some half-assed random shit from the back of my mind, and considering these don't connect and are simply one-shots, I want them to be quality. So sorry if your AU request takes forever. **_

_**Another thing I figured I'd bring up considering two people requested it: I have not seen Doctor Who. I know, it's pathetic, but I've only seen the first two episodes for the first season. In the BBC verse, I'm more of a Merlin kind of girl. **_

_**This AU was requested by **_Dixie C Jones_**, so while I love you all, I above all hope that she likes this chapter. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter Three ~ * ~ ***_

_**- NyoTalia -**_

Monika Beilschmidt wanted to be special.

No, not the kind of 'every child is' special or the 'you're special to me' special; but the honest to God special that everyone knows about. She wanted a trait that made her something other than average. And in her mind, 'B' stood for bad. Second best was never enough.

Being a country was, by far, second best. There are 196 countries in the world. 50 of those countries are in Europe. Six of those countries were German-speaking, meaning there were 95 to 100 million people in Europe who spoke German as their first language. Though there was only one of her in her country, when you looked at the numbers, she was nothing special. This meant she couldn't get cocky.

Of course, in this day and age, there are limits to 'special.' Girls can't be this kind of special and boys can't be that kind of special. Bullshit. There shouldn't be any limits. If a boy wanted to be the best fashion designer in all of Europe and a girl wanted to be the best fighter pilot in all of Europe, who's to say they can't be?

"The hell?" someone always said that whenever they found out that their country, and commanding general of war, was a girl. "This ain't a tea party, lady!"

_Calm down. Count to ten. Don't encourage it_. Germany took in a breath, and then turned to the soldier, a rather ugly-looking blonde man with a scar cutting through his eyebrow. "I am aware of that. As your commanding officer, I suggest you give me some respect."

"Respect? What do you know about _respect_, you're a fuckin' _chick_!"

_Don't encourage him. He wants you to get mad. Just count to ten_. "I assure you my gender has nothing to do with my position"

"Get out of here, girly," he said through gritted teeth.

_Ten_

"I have as much right to be here as you do," Germany's patience was getting thin.

_Nine _

"Yeah, _right_," he snapped.

_Eight_

"You ain't foolin' anyone with that dyke haircut of yours—"

_Done_

Germany grabbed him by the arm, flipping him over his shoulder, slamming her him into the ground and digging her boot into his back, twisting his arm behind him. There was a sickening sound as his arm bent out of its natural shape, and he screamed in pain.

"Apologize!" Germany barked, twisting her arm around. There were tears in the soldiers eyes at this point, slamming his palm in the ground multiple times. "Apologize to me _now_!"

"_I'm sorry_!" the soldier exclaimed, howling in pain.

"For _what_?!" she snapped. There was the nauseating sound of a bone cracking, and the soldier let out a noise that sounded like the cry of a dying animal. All the soldiers in the line-up stepped backwards, eyes widening, staring in horror at the scene playing in front of them.

"_I'm sorry_!"

* * *

"Seriously, Mo?" Julchen said, staring down her little sister while crossing her arms.

"Don't call me that," Germany grunted, tapping her foot in annoyance. Visiting her sister after another one of her injuries was similar to having to go to the principal's office. "My name is _Germany_"

"Yeah, yeah, Momo," Prussia rolled her eyes. "You broke his arm"

"He deserved it," Germany grunted.

"How many times have I told you to just ignore them?" Prussia hissed. "Did you try counting down from ten?"

"Yes,"

"And how far did you make it to?"

". . . eight . . ."

"Only?"

"He was pissing me off!"

Prussia sighed, leaning back and crossing her arms. "Mo, that's this is the ninth injury this month"

"Then those pigs that you call _soldiers_ shouldn't be so sexist," Germany growled.

"You could just ignore them," Prussia reminded her with a shake of her head. "I get a lotta shit for being a woman, too, you know. And you don't see me breaking people's bones. You almost killed a man last week"

"_Almost_," Germany reminded her, saying the word through gritted teeth. "That means I didn't. Those boys need to know who's boss, and if scaring them into place is what does the trick, then so be it"

"That's not a good attitude to have," Prussia sighed. "You've gotten too violent. No one wants to be your partner anymore, Mo."

"Who says I need any of them?" Germany rolled her eyes. "I'm good enough on my own," she stood up, packing together a bunch of her stuff. "I got an order. I'm going to cross into Italy"

"_Alone_?" Prussia exclaimed, running after her sister as she packed things into her car. "See, this is why you need a partner. The Italians aren't going to just let you waltz over the border, especially after what happened with Sofia!"

"I think you mean Austria," Germany scoffed. "And if they have any complaints, I'll just break a few more arms"

"I _knew_ you were proud of that, I just knew it!" Prussia sighed. "C'mon, at least let me come with you"

"No way in hell," Germany turned to her sister, narrowing her eyes. "I was asked to do this, and I'm going to. No help required."

"I know how proud you are of the fact that you don't have one," Prussia said, crossing her arms and looking at her sister with angry red eyes. "But you're being a dick right now"

"Love you too, Prussia," Germany said, looking over her supplies. Food, water, radio . . . she was all set.

"Julchen, my name is _Julchen_," Prussia said, her hands hitting against her sides as she stomped her foot. "I'm your _sister_, Mo! You could at least call me by my first name!"

"No-can-do," Germany said, jumping into her car and staring up the engine. "I'll be fine. I'm a big girl now"

"You should at least pack some more gas," Prussia said, biting her bottom lip. "It's a long drive from here to the Italian border You might run out"

"Please," Germany rolled her eyes. "This is a state-of-the-art jeep; I doubt I'm going to have any trouble"

* * *

"Goddammit!" Germany screeched, kicking the side of her car. It had to break down right _now_, when she was so close to the border! In her own way, she was lucky. The Swiss-Italian boarder was walking distance from here, only a couple of steps.

_If you packed gas like Julchen said, you wouldn't be in this position. _

_Shut up, brain,_ Germany sighed, strapping her gun behind her back. A couple of steps away from her abandoned vehicle, and she'd crossed the border. She waited for a minute, and nothing happened.

Two minutes . . .

. . . three minutes . . .

. . . four minutes . . .

. . . ten minutes . . .

This was beginning to get annoying.

Her luck was amazing, twenty minutes as a hostile being on the other side of a border, and she hadn't been attacked. Maybe that would make sense if she hadn't continued walking. A half hour's walk into the country, and she wasn't attacked or alerted. Her radio transmitter was working fine as well; they hadn't even bothered to try and cut off her signal.

"How weird," she muttered. She'd crossed the border without a single problem. She'd heard that Italy was a descendant of Rome. Any of the descendants of the big three—the Roman, Grecian, and Egyptian Empires—were supposed to be war machines. The ability to fight would be in their blood and genes. She'd prepared ahead of time, training to be able to knock the senses out of this 'descendants of Rome.'

However, it was getting to a point where she wondered if she'd be fighting anyone at all. But she couldn't let her guard down. When you're up against someone this good, anything could be a strategy.

An hour into the country, and she stopped.

Right there, in the middle of the forest, was a box of tomatoes.

Germany looked around, trying to see if there was some kind of camp or factory nearby. But there wasn't; only about a billion trees and this misfit tomato crate. She shrugged, walking forward. She was starving, as she hadn't eaten anything since she left camp.

She laid a hand on the crate, and it let out a cry of fear. Germany jumped backwards, her hand moving as if it'd just been burnt. "What the hell?!"

"_I'm sorry_!" a muffled voice exclaimed, no doubt one from inside the crate. "_I-I mean—hello! I'm the Box of Tomatoes Fairy! Let's be happy magical friends_!"

Germany raised an eyebrow, grabbing onto the box and attempting to open it. It was hard, considering it was sealed tight. Someone had gone through a great deal of trouble trying to seal it closed. "Come—_on_! I know someone's in there!"

"_You're wrong! I'm just a humble tomato fairy! No, no, don't do that_!" the voice exclaimed, and Germany guessed that whoever was inside had figured out that she was trying to open the crate. "_What have the tomato fairies ever done to you_?!"

With one last tug, the top of the crate broke off, the force sending her toppling backwards. From this angle, the crate still looked empty. But when she stood up and walked over to the crate, she found a girl huddled up in it.

The girl was Italian, no doubt, with dark red hair that had a stray curl to it and big, tearful brown eyes. Her skin had that Latina darkness to it, much tanner than Germany's, but not so much like Spain's. By the looks of it, she'd turned her uniform into a dress, one that was blue in color with black belt buckles.

"Who are you?" Germany asked.

"I—" the girl took in a breath, and stood up. Looking Germany straight in the eye (she had to look up a bit, as Germany was taller than her,) gather all of the courage she could muster and said. "I'm a tomato fairy"

Germany raised an eyebrow. "Are you really?"

"_No_!" she shrieked, bursting into tears and falling to her knees. But rather than staying there, she lurched forward, fast as lightning, and attached herself onto Germany's leg. "I lied! I'm a big liar! I'm not a tomato fairy; it was all lies, lies, _lies_! Please don't kill me or mortally wound me so that I'm left lying in my own blood! I have relatives in Berlin! Please don't kill me I DON'T WANT TO DIIIIIIEEEE!"

Her last shriek of fear was enough to send the birds flying from the trees. Germany gave the girl a slightly disgusted look, making an attempt to shake her off her leg. "Calm down, I'm not going to kill you"

"Y—you're not?" the girl whimpered, wiping tears from her eyes.

"No, I never said I was," Germany huffed. "Now get off me"

"Yes, ma'am!" the girl leapt backwards, giving her an army solute. "My name's Feliciana Vargas—but everyone calls me Italy. At your service!"

Germany's eyes widened. _This _was Italy? The descendant of the Roman Empire? No, that couldn't possibly be. Why would a descendant of someone as great as Rome be hiding out in a tomato crate? Wouldn't Rome's granddaughter fight her on the spot? Before, she had considered Rome's granddaughter to be one of her only worthy opponents. Now she was beginning to think otherwise.

Unless . . . unless this was a trap. To make her think she was innocent and helpless to distract her. And then attack when she'd helped her out of that tomato crate and walked on, with her back turned, expecting nothing.

"_No_!" Germany yelled, grabbing her gun and pointing it to Italy's forehead. "You're _not_ fooling me, you wine-loving she-devil!"

Italy screamed in fear, and began to cry harder than she did before. "Wh-what did I ever do to you?!"

As it turned out, she wasn't being deceived.

* * *

"Who's the Barbie?" Prussia asked as soon as Germany entered the camp. No 'hello,' no 'I missed you, sis!' just a question on who Germany's new acquaintance was. Looks like Prussia was still pissed at her for leaving to go to Italy all by herself.

"Someone I picked up in Italy who won't leave me alone," Germany huffed, watching Italy flirt and bat her eyelashes at the other soldiers. "She _claims_ to be Italy"

"What? Like Rome's granddaughter?" the two sisters watched as the Italian waved at a couple of boys, and in her distraction, tripped over one of Germany's dogs, and then shouted her apologies at the creature before falling backward into a barrel.

"_I'm ok_!" she yelled, waving her legs back and forth. The soldiers were laughing at her clumsiness; even the most stone-serious ones were giggled. "_Germnyyyyyy, I need your help! Germannnyyyy!_"

"You see why I doubt her?" Germany sighed, shaking her head. "She's completely useless"

"She does look like this little boy I once knew," Prussia pondered, putting a finger to her chin in thought. "Back when I was the Teutonic Knights. Hungary's son, I think, the one that hung around that Holy Rome chick all the time. That boy also claimed to be Italy. I haven't seen him in forever though"

"So if Italy's a boy," Germany said, looking at the barrel whilst Italy still shouted for Germany to help her. "Who's this chick?"

"How should I know?" Prussia scoffed. "You should probably help her, though"

Germany grunted in annoyance, running forward, and helping her out of the barrel. As soon as she was out of the barrel, Italy hugged her, holding her tight enough to suffocate her. "I knew you'd help me! You're amazing!"

_What the hell_? Germany thought, eyeing her as she continued to hug her tightly. Germany had been sure to be nothing but hostile to her. She made their relationship clear, simply military. So why was she clinging to her so much?

_Who does she think she is? My friend?_ Germany gritted her teeth, glaring at the Italian. Did she think she'd gone _soft_? If only she'd attacked her on the spot, then she'd know that Germany was someone to be feared rather than loved.

Germany pushed her off her, slamming her elbow into Italy's chest, and then grabbing her by the wrist and shoving her to the ground. Everyone watched cringed; Germany's violent reputation wasn't anything new. They only hoped that Italy could be one to escape that reputation.

Italy got up, whimpering in pain, dusting herself off. She then turned to Germany, and her smile was bright. "Nice hit!"

Germany paused, simply staring at her. ". . . What?"

"It really hurt! And if that wasn't enough, you had the strength to push me down like that!" Italy looked excited, grabbing her hands and squeezing them tightly. "You're a really good fighter! I was considering getting one of the boys, but I knew you were the best choice! I always knew!"

". . . Huh?" the word vaguely escaped her lips, her eyes wide.

"You're gonna be my protector!" Italy exclaimed, happily. "My strong big sister!"

* * *

Germany was the kind of girl who had a hard time making friends. She knew she was lucky to have one partner, and that was her sister. Of course, there was now Italy, but she was hardly strong enough. For a third partner, since Italy was there vaguely for support, she had one other option.

Sakura Honda, though more often known as Japan, was currently the strongest power in Asia. She was currently moving in on taking over all of China, and Korea was already a done deal. She was powerful; she was ruthless, emotionless, and strong. She was the perfect partner.

"Axis Powers," there was no emotion in Japan's voice, which was slightly disappointing, because Germany hoped that she would be at least a little excited. "It sounds promising. And the only current members are you and Italy-San?"

"At the moment," Germany said, treading lightly. "There's me, Italy, my sister, Hungary, Austria, Romania, and Bulgaria. But they're more or less secondary members"

"Right," Japan took a sip of tea. "The main three being you, me, and Italy-San?"

"That's the idea," Germany said. She was tempted to add '_if you want it to be_' but she didn't want to sound desperate.

"Alright," Japan looked around, and then made a disgusted place at Italy, who was currently flirting with a bunch of Japanese boys. "_Please_ tell me that Italy-San isn't that disrespectful, obviously suspicious persona"

"I don't want to believe it, either," Germany sighed. "In fact, I don't. My sister talked about knowing an Italy that was male when she was younger. I think this one is only an imposter"

"Male?" Japan looked at Italy, and then back to Germany. "Well, that Italy-San is definitely female. If you think that she isn't the Italy-San that we need, then why're you keeping her around?"

"She won't leave me alone," Germany grunted. "And if she claims to be Italy, she must be someone important to the Italian government. Return her, and we might get the _real_ Italy in exchange"

"You could've just said that she was your friend," Japan's lips twitched, as if she wanted to smile, but had forgotten how. "That would've been an acceptable answer"

"She's not my friend—!" Germany exclaimed, as Italy ran over. She'd somehow gotten her hands on one of Japan's kimonos, and had cut it just above the knees. Japan looked horrified at that action.

"_What did you do to my kimono_?!" she shrieked.

"Oh, this pretty dressy-thingy?" Italy spun around, just to give Japan a better view of what she believed to be a crime against nature. "I _really_ liked the design, but it was way too long, so I cut it. I just love these long sleeves, there so fun! Aren't they Germany?"

"Italy, that doesn't belong to you!" Germany hissed. "Put it back!"

"No, no, she can keep it," Japan huffed, scowling at Germany as if Italy was her responsibility. "She's already ruined it"

"I think I made it cuter," Italy smiled, and then looked at Japan. "Ooh, you must be Japan! I don't know what Germany was so scared about, you don't look so scary"

Japan's shoulders twitched; and it took a second for Germany to realize that she giggled. "You were scared of me?"

"Well, I wouldn't say scared—" Germany started.

"Oh, yeah, she was _terrified_!" Italy giggled. "Going over rules and behavior plans. But I don't see why, you're so tiny!"

"Tiny?!" Japan seethed. "How dare you! I'm so much older than you—!"

"And you're really pretty!" Italy exclaimed, playing with Japan's hair. "I especially love your hair; it's so straight and shiny. How did you get it to stay like that?"

"I—I don't know," Japan gave her an odd look. "It just does"

"You know, your hair would look so much cuter if it was shorter," Italy exclaimed, grabbing a nearby knife. "Like this!"

"_Italy, no_!" Germany yelled, but it was too late. The room went still, everyone's eyes wide as Japan reached for the back of her neck, feeling around for hair that was no longer there. At least it was a clean pixie cut, rather than coming out choppy and uneven like a normal knife-cut would.

"See, it's pretty!" Italy exclaimed, smiling at her work. "But, you know, you'd look so much prettier with front bangs" she began to cut her hair, fashioning it without her approval. Germany was too stunned with her actions to even stop her, staring in absolute horror. After she was done cutting, she took out the flower clip that was currently in her hair, and used it to pin part of Japan's hair behind her ear. She then smiled, and handed Japan a mirror. "_Voilà_! Do you like it—?"

"_Italy, you idiot_!" Germany shrieked, causing Italy to cringe and take a step back. "What the _hell _did you think you were doing?! You can't just cut people's hair like that!"

"I—I'm sorry," Italy looked like she was about to cry. "I was just trying to help"

"'Sorry' doesn't cut it!" Germany snapped. "You just chopped off all her hair! Do you know how long it's going to take for it to grow back?!"

"Germany-San," Japan said quietly, looking up from her mirror.

"You have to ask people before doing that kind of stuff!" Germany snapped, ignoring Japan completely.

"Germany-San," Japan repeated, raising her voice.

"Do you have any idea about what personal boundaries are?!" Germany exclaimed, and that was when Italy began to cry.

"_Germany-San_!" Japan's voice was the loudest it'd been all afternoon.

"_What_?!" Germany snapped, turning to the Japanese girl a bit too abruptly.

"I like it"

There was a pause, as Germany stared at her, and Italy's face began to brighten as she smiled. "Really? You really do?"

"I think it's a lot prettier than it was before," Japan said, feeling the tips of her newly cut hair. "And the flower was a nice touch"

"Yay!" Italy exclaimed, jumping up and down in her happiness.

"About the Axis Powers," Japan said, turning to Germany. "I'll join."

"Really?" Germany asked, her eyes widening. "Are you sure? Even after all this mess?"

"Well, I have to thank you for the hair cut somehow," Japan smiled, offering her hand.

And, needless to say, Germany shook it without hesitation.

* * *

The three girls sat around Japan's Kotatsu table, drinking tea and eating a bunch of her delicacies. It turned out Japan was serious about Italy keeping that kimono; she found it worthless if it wasn't long like it was meant to be. So Italy played with her sleeves, while Germany and Japan discussed battle tactics.

Germany sighed, her face red when she turned to Italy. Saying this kind of stuff was always hard for her. "Italy . . . I'm sorry"

Italy looked up from her teacup, which she was now blowing into just to see the bubbles. "What for?"

"For . . . for yelling at you and making you cry," her face was getting redder by every word. "I'm sorry"

"It's alright," Italy smiled, patting her hand as if to reassure her. "You didn't mean to"

Japan coughed, and her cough sounded suspiciously like the word 'lesbians.' Germany turned to her, narrowing her eyes, and Japan patted her throat. But with her emotionless eyes and her innocent-looking face, Germany couldn't help but believe that it was just a cough.

"Let's play a game!" Italy said, looking to Japan. "Ok, Japan . . . how old are you?"

"That's none of your business!" Japan exclaimed, a horrified look in her eyes. Italy laughed, and Germany couldn't help but laugh with her. Ok, so what if she wasn't the real Italy? She was pretty much the life and soul of this team. Even if they got the real Italy to join, Germany knew she wasn't going to let her go. She was a lot of fun to have around, and Japan liked her. As long as Germany was here, Italy wasn't going anywhere.

"Ok, now you get to ask me a question!" Italy asked.

Japan narrowed her eyes, and smirked a bit. "Who was your first love?"

Italy paused, and paled. Her eyes were wide, and blushing furiously, she looked to the ground. "I, um, ah—"

"C'mon, you did have a first love, right?" Germany said, smiling a bit.

"I—I did," Italy bit her lower lip.

"Then who was it?" Japan asked, leaning forward on the table.

"It—it was another, girl, though . . ." Italy whispered, and Germany spat out her tea onto the table.

_Hungary's son, I think, the one that hung around that Holy Rome chick all the time. That boy also claimed to be Italy._

"Did you know my sister when you were little?" Germany exclaimed, looking over to her. "Prussia? The Teutonic Knights?"

"That big bully?" Italy huffed, crossing her arms and pouting. "Papa didn't like her. She always picked on me and mama"

"And did you dress like a boy, my any chance?" Japan asked.

"That wasn't my fault!" Italy cried, slamming her palms on the ground. "I got gum in my hair! Papa had to cut it out for me, so my hair was short! And he wanted me to wear some of his old clothes, so I wore boy's clothes! It's not my fault my boobs hadn't come in yet!"

Germany and Japan slowly exchanged a glance, horrified, and staring. All these years later, and Prussia never discovered that that little boy was actually a little girl.

"What? What's wrong?" Italy asked.

"Nothing," the two said in sync, each taking a long sip of their tea.

Looks like Italy's place in the Axis Powers was now a permanent one.

* * *

_**I think this might've been the longest chapter I've ever written for this story. 14 pages on word. I'm so proud of myself. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!* **_


	4. HetaPocalypse

_**As you may or may not have already noticed, the prime characters for this fic are Italy, Germany, and Japan. With small exceptions here and there, if requested, or if an AU ironically fits them perfectly. **_

_**This chapter was requested by **_Abitha Comet_**. Similarly to what I said about the last request, though I love you all, I hope they like it, especially!**_

_**~ * ~ *Chapter Four ~ * ~ ***_

_**- HetaPocalypse -**_

"Out of gas,"

Ludwig looked around, biting his bottom lip. Feliciano was crying in the backseat. He couldn't see nor smell anything—that was good. Whenever one of _them_ was near, you could smell them before you could see them. The smell of death and something rotting, and half the time they had tar and saliva dripping from their mouths.

He turned the car headlights off, as _they_ were attracted to light. Anything out of the usual attracted them—light, sound, motion, sometimes even smell. It was best to pretend to be like a ghost, sightless, odorless, motionless, and cold. Heat also attracted them. Basically, forget fire. Fire's a bitch.

"W-what're we going to do?" Feliciano whimpered, climbing out of the car. To be honest, Ludwig didn't know. There didn't seem to be a gas station anywhere. And even if it was, gas was even scarcer now then it was when the disease spread.

The original plan was to drive all the way to Blowing Rock, a small mountain town in North Carolina. Blowing Rock was said to be one of the only safe places in all of the east coast. There were others, yes, but considering they were already in South Carolina when they heard from the radio that Blowing Rock was officially free of _them_, he thought 'what the hell?' It was easy to just take a car and speed off with it, and if they ever came across one of _them_, Ludwig would simply stomp his foot on the gas pedal and run them over. Though surprisingly durable, even _they're_ bodies couldn't survive the weight of a car over their entire bodies.

He looked around. Sleeping in the car was a bad idea—only because they were out of both gas and battery. Though none of _them_ had the power to break windows, they would freeze to death in this weather. And they didn't have any blankets either. They were going to have to abandon this car.

Ludwig sighed—he liked this car. Bulletproof windows, a CD player (you can probably guess why the radio was out of the question,) and not to mention heated seats that still worked. But beggars can't be choosers.

"We're gonna have to get out and walk," Ludwig said, getting out of the car and slamming it rather unnecessarily hard behind him. Feliciano mimicked his movements, but he didn't slam his door, as he had neither the strength nor the anger. Feli simply did whatever Ludwig told him to do to a T without question. Ludwig liked that about him.

"It's cold," Feli said, shivering. That was something Ludwig _didn't_ like about him—he was the world's biggest whiner.

"Here," Ludwig shrugged off his jacket, putting it around Feli's shoulders. That was the difference between the two of them. In the middle of a zombie apocalypse, Ludwig was a survivor. Meanwhile, Feli was about as high-class and gourmet as a lapdog, and he typically acted like one.

"Thanks, Luddy!" Feli smiled. And there it was again. Every now and then, Feli would ask for something of his, like his jacket or his phone (or whine about needing them until Ludwig obliged,) and whenever he got what he wanted, he would smile at him or laugh or giggle or squeeze his hand and suddenly . . . Ludwig wouldn't feel so annoyed anymore. But, then again, it annoyed him that Feli had him wrapped around his finger like that. So, at the end of the day, he was still annoyed.

The two walked for a while longer, until they came across a hotel, its color fading and its lights blinking. It was a Marriott, by the looks of it. That meant they'd hit a tourist destination of some sort. Ludwig looked at one of the many welcome signs—Boone. That was the name.

"We'll stay here for the night," Ludwig said, grabbing Feli by the arm and walking towards the hotel. Feli entwined his fingers with Ludwig's, and Ludwig looked down to see that he did so, but otherwise did nothing. It was a good thing they found a Marriott; Feli wouldn't stay at any other type of hotel. He apparently had _standards_.

"Hello?" Ludwig called, forcing the automatic doors of the hotel to open. "Anybody here?"

No answer. The lobby was dark and smelled like old air freshener, only a single light bulb was still lit; and swinging back and forth and creaking as it did so. Ludwig's footsteps echoed as he stepped, and he could feel Feliciano tighten his grip on his hand. The place really was abandoned.

"A-at least we can sleep in the penthouse!" Feli laughed nervously. Ludwig didn't argue, since the penthouse was the best idea. _They_ weren't intelligent beings; they didn't understand the concept of elevators or stairs. _They_ would simply wander around the lobby, maybe eat a bug or small animal, and then leave. Even if you made noise and they heard you, all you'd have to do was wait them out wherever you were. They wouldn't be smart enough to figure out that if they climbed the stairs long enough, they'd find you.

Ludwig snagged the key to the penthouse, and the two went on the elevator and rode to the top floor. Thirty floors up, high enough so that _they _wouldn't even think of looking for them. The penthouse was obviously run-down since its former glory, but still impressive enough. And by 'impressive,' he meant it had a bed that was still intact and a working sink. While that was more than enough for Ludwig, Feli was clearly disappointed, but too tired to complain.

Ludwig washed his face a good number of times in the sink—as the shower wasn't working—and then thought for a moment on the subject of food. There was a gas station across the street, maybe he could make a dash there and grab something small. Something that didn't expire easily; soda and chips were a popular combination. Fruit would go rotten and leave a smell, and the same goes for milk. Power bars, cereal bars, water, honey . . . the list could go on.

However, when Ludwig went to ask Feli about the matter, he was already snuggled up under the covers, sound asleep, his sides rising and falling with his breathing. Ludwig smiled, and decided that could wait until morning. Like Feli, he was too tired to worry.

He locked the doors tight, using all three of their locks (you can never be too safe,) and he then climbed into bed beside Feli.

The smaller man got closer to him, snuggling up against him. Ludwig didn't protest; Feli was warm . . . Warm and comforting. And he smelled nice. Ludwig couldn't explain it without sounding the least bit weird, but he knew what Feli smelled like. Like summer, if a season had a smell; like grass and honeysuckles. And sweat; but in a good way.

Ludwig found himself pulling him closer, and while Feli made a noise in his sleep, he didn't protest. He simply burrowed his face into Ludwig's neck, and Ludwig could've sworn that he'd seen him smile. But there was no need to think of that now. He was too exhausted.

* * *

"_Pick a color,"_

_Ludwig looked over, seeing Feli holding out an incredibly disfigured Cootie Catcher. By the looks of it, he'd made it out of his class syllabus and colored over the words with a crayon. It kind of looked like a pentagram from Ludwig's perception. ". . . red" _

"_R . . . e . . . d . . ." Feli moved the folds of paper while saying each individual letter, and then looked up again. "Now pick a number"_

"_Seven," Ludwig said. _

"_One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . . six . . . seven," Feli counted, and then looked back up at Ludwig. "Pick another number," he held out the Cootie Catcher towards Ludwig, showing him three numbers that were crudely drawn on the folds of paper: two, four, six, and eight. _

"_Four," Ludwig said. _

_Feli opened up the flap of paper, and then beamed at him. "You're going to fall in love with someone someday—someone with red hair!"_

"_Does it specifically say that?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow. Feli showed him his results, and sure enough, 'you're going to fall in love with someone someday, someone with red hair.' Ludwig flipped through the other answers, and they were similar. 'You're going to fall in love with someone someday, someone with blonde hair' or 'you're going to fall in love with someone someday, someone with black hair.' "All of these answers are exactly the same; they just have different hair color combinations"_

"_Well, Valentine's Day is coming up," Feli smiled. "I thought I'd do some match-making"_

"_But this is a game of chance," Ludwig said. _

_Feli giggled. "Not all the time. I figured out the trick. I can rig it so people pick a certain number" _

"_You . . . you didn't just do that to _me_, did you?" Ludwig asked. _

_There was a pause. _

"_No, of course not," Feli quickly looked down, focusing all of his attention on his paper-made toy. The teacher clicked her tongue, making a notion to silence everyone. _

"_Settle down," she said, walking towards the blackboard. "Now, can someone tell me what cities are now Black Spots?"_

_Ludwig's hand shot up. "The disease spread quickly in densely populated areas. The biggest cities are now Black Spots—Beijing, Tokyo, New York, and São Paulo are a few examples" _

"_Very good, Ludwig," their teacher smiled, and then she got a giddy look to her face. "Just think, students, by the end of this year, you will our first graduating class! You will then be let into the world to fight the Undead! Isn't this exciting?"_

"_Can't they just let us out already?" Gilbert, Ludwig's brother, hissed from beside him. "I just wanna fight some zombies!" _

"_You're not supposed to use that slang," Ludwig raised an eyebrow. _

"_Whatever," Gil rolled his eyes, scoffing. _

"_I don't hear the excitement," the teacher said, rolling her eyes. "Repeat after me: 'yes, ma'am'"_

"_Yes—" _

_There were screams, panicking down the hall. An announcement blared on the speakers—somehow; the undead had breached the school. They'd gotten in. There were too many of them to fight. It was now every man for himself. Everyone was told to run, and run fast—hide if you could. Do anything so that they wouldn't find you. _

_CRASH—the window broke into about a billion pieces, a few of the undead dropping to the floor, unmoving, the impact killing them. Ludwig never understood how the undead could still die. But others began to crawl through the window, hissing and snapping at anything making noise. _

"_Ludwig!" Gilbert yelled, grabbing him by the arm. "Run, we need to get out of here!"_

"_Where's Feli?" Ludwig exclaimed frantically, looking around. "I don't see him anywhere!" _

"_I don't give a damn about Feli—!" Gilbert exclaimed, his eyes widening, and then shoving him backwards. Ludwig crashed into a desk, just as one of the undead leapt forward and tackled Gilbert to the ground, hissing and snarling. _

"_Gil!" Ludwig exclaimed, grabbing his gun from his pocket and shooting the thing in the head until he was sure it was more than dead. Even with the zombie's body off of him, however, Gil still wasn't moving. _

"_G-Gilbert?" Ludwig asked, taking a step towards his brother. Gil's body then began to convulse, jerking up and down, foam erupting from his mouth as he made noises that were nothing short of inhuman. Gil's head snapped forward before his body did; his eyes blood red and pupil less over black whites. Hissing and snarling, he made his way towards Ludwig, getting faster with every step. _

"_. . . Gil?"_

* * *

When Ludwig awoke, he didn't scream or jerk away. His eyes merely opened, as if they didn't wish to watch this movie anymore, so they just turned it off. He'd had this nightmare too many times for it to be scary, for it to even be surprising anymore. It was still as heart-breaking and soul-crushing to remember it, even in sleep, but it didn't hurt as much in his dreams as when it happened in real life.

"Did you have that nightmare again?"

Feli was still close to him, his head resting on the crook of his neck. Ludwig could see that his eyes were open, and that his mouth was moving, but Feli made no otherwise movement to indicate that he was awake. He stayed like that for a second, and then looked up at him. Ludwig swallowed, and then nodded. "Yeah; the same one"

"How do you do that," Feli asked.

"Do what?" Ludwig asked.

"How do you stay so . . . so _brave_?" Feli said. "Whenever you wake up from a nightmare like that, you don't scream or even jerk back. You just open your eyes. It's like you just blinked, but in reality, you got scared out of your mind. How do you do that?"

Ludwig thought for a moment. "I don't know."

Feli didn't move; he was still close to him; still practically pressed up against his body. And Ludwig could practically feel his breathing on his neck. "I wish I was brave, like you"

"You don't have to be," Ludwig found that his words were coming out in gulps, as if he was finding it hard to breathe. And he was—after all, how could he even think straight when Feli was this close to him? "I'll protect you"

"I know you will," Feli whispered. He was running his hands over Ludwig's chest now, his nose to his cheek. Ludwig's face was about as red as the human anatomy allowed it to be, he could hear his heart thundering in his ears. He couldn't speak; but he didn't feel the need to. He couldn't protest; but he didn't want to. He could only feel Feli getting closer to him, and he wanted him to get closer.

Closer,

Closer,

And closer—

There was a noise.

It sounded like footsteps; well, not quite like footsteps. More like someone tripping, and then recollecting their balance. Both Ludwig and Feli jumped apart, staring at the door. It would be stupid to say something. The words 'what was that?' could call _their_ attention to you. So both Ludwig and Feli stayed absolutely silent, silencing their breathing.

Ludwig reached out for the nightstand, grabbing his pistol. He made a couple of motions for Feli to get behind him, and Feli did exactly as he was 'told' (if a motion counts as an order.) Ludwig made slow, careful steps towards the door. He counted down from ten, and then jerked the door open.

Only to get a sword pointed at his neck.

The man holding the sword was about half the size of him, but he didn't look like the type to be messed with. He had ink-colored hair, serious-looking brown eyes, and creamy skin. The two stared at each other, each of them pointing their own weapon at each other. They stared for a moment longer, and then lowered their weapons.

". . . Kiku?" Ludwig asked, his voice starting out soft and then raising his voice.

" . . . Ludwig?" Kiku Honda was the only accounted survivor from Tokyo, but there was no proof that no one else had made it alive. But he was the only Japanese student to make it to the School, and Ludwig specifically remembered him in his class. But, like everyone else, when _they_ attacked, Kiku simply became one of the many blurred faces that were lost. Ludwig had simply assumed that he was dead.

"You're _alive_?" Kiku exclaimed, putting his sword back in its sheath.

"I could say the same about you," Ludwig put his gun in his back pocket, while Feli leapt up from behind him and hugged Kiku tightly, crying like a baby.

"_Kiku, I thought you were dead_!" Feli exclaimed, hugging him tightly. The three of them had been close when they attended the School together, as they often talked together, did their schoolwork together, ate together, and they even shared a dorm. Feli had insisted on looking for him even a month after their escape. Now, almost a year later, they'd met him again simply by chance.

"I'm fine," Kiku was always one for stating the obvious; and he didn't like to get emotional. Something's never change; even after being forced to survive alone in a world that could kill you whenever you let your guard down.

"Where've you been?" Feli asked, still not letting him go.

"Georgia," Kiku said, pushing him off him. "I heard about the safe haven in Blowing Rock, I wanted to make my way there. I got tired, though"

"Oh, cool!" Feli smiled, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him in the room. "We have room for one more!"

_No, we don't_, Ludwig thought for a moment, and then tried to shake the bitterness of out his head. He felt like Kiku had interrupted something, and he almost hated him for it. But the hatred didn't last long; he was simply glad that Kiku was alive.

* * *

"Do you have a car?" Ludwig asked, as the three woke up the next morning. They'd practically raided the grocery store that was close by. No, forget the 'practically' part, they _did_ raid the place. Taking anything they thought would be useful, from food, to drinks, to ice, to charcoal, to a cooler.

"Yeah," Kiku said, looking at the back of an outdated issue of _Pokémon_. "I've got a lot of battery left, but no gas"

"There's a gas station nearby," Ludwig said. "So that's not a problem. How do you have so much battery left? Don't you sleep in your car?"

"No, I had a sleeping bag, so I slept outside," Kiku said, and when he saw Ludwig's horrified face, he added. "I set a fire around me."

"But fire attracts them," Ludwig raised an eyebrow.

"Exactly," Kiku smiled a bit. "They come, they run into the fire, and they fuel the flames. Therefore the fire lasts until morning. Like a zombie bug-zapper"

"How . . . everything's flammable. . ." Ludwig muttered.

"There's a reason I don't have much gasoline left," Kiku shrugged. "I used it all to start a fire. I had to make four of them in like a square around me. I had about four gallons until I came up with the idea to sleep outside and save battery"

"Oh," the three had filled up the car with gas, stocked up on everything they needed. Kiku had grabbed a map from the gas station, and was currently highlighting the route to Blowing Rock. Feli was sitting in the backseat, eating chips and singing along to a Pink album. However, he insisted on climbing out of the car and taking a picture with the three of them.

Even in the situation, Ludwig couldn't help but smile. They'd lost a lot, yes—training, the feeling of safety, humanity, and Ludwig had even lost his brother. But he knew how lucky he was. He had his two best friends in the world. He had a car. He had a destination. And most importantly, he was alive. He was especially thankful for that.

"I think we're ready to go," Ludwig said, closing the trunk.

"Not quite," Kiku said, tripping Ludwig as he walked over to the passenger's seat. Ludwig fell forward, his lip's crashing into Feli's.

The kiss only lasted for a few seconds the first time, but Feli then responded by jumping up, wrapping his arms around his neck, and kissing him for a good, long minute before letting him go.

"I'm sorry," Kiku smiled as Ludwig turned to him, slapping him on the back of the head. "You two just needed to hurry up and kiss each other. I've known that since the third grade"

"Jerk," Ludwig muttered, stepping on the brakes and taking off, Feli singing even louder than he was before.

And he did make sure to run over a zombie or two on the way.

* * *

_**Action and romance—two elements you often see together. I didn't plan for this to be a GerIta thing, but it just kinda happened. **_

_**Whether you liked or hated this chapter was requested by **_Abitha Comet_**, so I really hope that they don't hate it. Really, I hope that none of you hate it. But I especially hope that they don't hate it. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	5. Hetalia High School Host Club

_**Thanks for the reviews, you guys! This chapter was requested by **_theotakuat221b_**, so I hope they like it!**_

_**Ok, there is a Gender Bent character in this chapter, simply because I couldn't think of anything else. Fem!Austria is named Sofia, so the internet has told me. So, if you get confused while reading this, that's a heads up for you. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter Five ~ * ~ *  
- Hetalia High School Host Club –**_

"No, _no_, NO!" Elizaveta exclaimed as Francis struck yet another pose. The Frenchman grumbled in annoyance, gritting his teeth at the Host Club's 'manager'. "If you want to impress them, you have you become your cosplay! Do you understand me, pheasant?"

"I don't see how I can become this," Francis growled, and for once, Yao agreed with him. Today was apparently "Neko-Chan Day," in Feli's words, and it had all of them dressed up with cat ears and tails.

"See the cat," Elizaveta commanded, shoving Feli's stuffed cat in Francis's face. "Feel the cat, smell the cat, _become_ the cat. Do you get me?"

"Not in the slightest," Francis muttered, so Elizaveta continued to shove the toy cat in his face. They were a few minutes until they 'opened up' to the public, or so to say, free period began and they could be begin.

Yao sighed, trying to get the last bit of his homework done. He was trying to concentrate, but a few certain people were making it hard. The most noticeable one being Feli, who had a collar with a bell on it, and kept jumping up and down just so he could heard it jingle.

In the next couple of minutes, the doors opened and the room (nearly literally) flooded with customers. Apparently Feli with cat ears, a tail, and a collar with a bell was enough to attract a lot of today's customers. And the fact that his gloved "paws" didn't quite fit him was really helping his publicity.

"Hey, Yao-Kun," a regular customer Yao didn't remember the name of smiled at him, making a beeline for his table. She was instantly followed by another few girls, who were giggling like they were on laughing gas.

"Good afternoon," Yao returned the smile. He would've waved, but these gloved "paws" would have made it awkward. The only ones who escaped having to wear paws were the twins, and that was only because they had to go all yaoi TwinCest on each other (Yao wouldn't have switched places with them for a million dollars) and that needed them to hold each other's hands and such.

"You look so adorable, Yao-Kun," the girl on the right smiled. "I just love how you're all black and white like a panda!"

_Is everything I do compared to a panda, aru?_ Yao thought, but otherwise smiled. "Yeah, it was Francis-Sempai's idea. I guess he really likes to see me dressed like a panda"

"Do you mind it?" the girl on the left asked. "Getting dressed like a panda, I mean?"

"Not really," Yao gave a small, yet modest, giggle. One could almost see the sparkles and rose petals flying around him. "I kind of like it, to be honest. It reminds me of home," he looked towards the ground. "Even though home is so far away"

All three of the girls turned bright pink, squealing and leaning towards him. Yao leaned backwards a little, but not far enough to be rude.

"Don't crowd him," a new voice said. Yao looked up, seeing a girl in the school's uniform walk over to him. She had long dark hair, clipped back with a blue pendant, and violet eyes that seemed to look through Yao as if he was made of glass. She reached forward, taking Yao's chin into her hands. "Ah, yes. You're my new favorite"

* * *

Later that evening, Yao was still utterly shocked and he hadn't moved from his place on the couch. He just sat there, still, unable to get over the fact that someone called him her "new favorite," as if he was a toy.

"You ok, Yao-Chan?" Feli asked, tapping him on the shoulder. It took him a minute to respond, but Yao slowly nodded.

"W . . . who was that . . .?" Yao asked.

"Sofia Edelstein," Francis grunted, not looking Yao in the eyes. "She's a regular around here"

"What did she m-mean by n-new f-favorite, aru?" China muttered.

With that, Francis turned around completely, grumbling to himself in annoyance. Yao raised an eyebrow, but Matthew and Alfred only smirked in response.

"C'mon, don't be so grumpy, Sempai" the twins said in total unison. "It was bound to happen; she's had the disease for a while"

"Disease?" Yao asked.

"The Host-Hopping Disease," Matthew said. "She isn't satisfied with one host for very long, so she keeps switching. First it was Alfred—"

"And then she literally demanded Kiku-Sempai," Alfred said, sliding from behind him as if they were a deck of cards getting shuffled. "And she's so strict we actually let her, and then it was Ludwig-Sempai. And before you, it was Francis―"

"SHUT UP!" Francis snapped, grinding his teeth together.

"You and Alfred were first?" Yao asked.

"No, just Alfred, for some reason," Kiku said, his fingers darting across his laptop. "I take it she wasn't much interesting in two hosts, she only wanted Ludwig-San when his turn came. Feliciano-San pouted for a week"

"She was being mean," Feli grumbled. "Taking Luddy-Chan away from me like that"

"Oh, I get it," Yao said. "Francis-Sempai's mad at me because I 'stole' Sofia and I'm taking the attention away from him—"

"You shut up! You know nothing!" Francis snapped, standing up abruptly and pointing an angry finger at him. "You know what, Yao? I think it's time you started acting like a freaking boy for once!"

Yao's eyes widened, and then narrowed as he scowled at him. "_Excuse you_?!"

"You heard me!" Francis snapped. "Nearly everyone at this school thinks you're a girl! Hell, the only reason why we even let you _in_ this club was to help you increase your masculinity—!"

"You forced me to join to pay off for that vase I broke!" Yao snapped in response.

"It's a _vase_," the twins said, pronouncing the word like "va-s."

"—and it hasn't worked for _shit_!" Francis exclaimed. "I mean, she's probably only into you because your hair is so ridiculously perfect! I mean, look at how girly you are! You could pass off as a female any day of the year!"

"Are you calling Edelstein-San a lesbian?" Kiku asked, looking up from his laptop.

"You shouldn't worry about Sofia's preferences," Matthew said, as he and Kiku were looking over Kiku's shoulders at the computer screen. "The dance is coming up; what should the theme be this year? I'm thinking something formal—like a masquerade ball thing"

"Masks _are_ pretty hot," Alfred smirked, and the twins did a mutual fist-bump.

"Dance?" Yao asked.

"Host Club tradition," Kiku said, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. "It's always traditional ballroom dancing. You _do _know how to waltz, right?"

"Oh—I—uh—" Yao spluttered, twiddling his fingers. Just last month, he was a kid living in the slums of Beijing. He was only going to this school on a scholarship that allowed him to study abroad—going to Tokyo had been like a dream to him.

He'd spent the four month prior to arriving learning the basics of reading, writing, and speaking Japanese, not to mention getting to know Japanese culture and honorifics. He'd gotten his own dorm room, practiced a simple 'hi, how are you?' in the mirror for hours at a time before he was off.

He was lucky not to be the only transfer student—the twins were from North America, Feli was Italian, Ludwig was German, Elizaveta was Hungarian, and Francis was French. The only one native to Japan was Kiku, and he surprisingly spoke perfect English. Yao had accidentally stumbled in one day, only to trip over his own feet and knock over an 8-million-yen vase.

Long story short, there was no possible way Yao knew how to waltz.

Francis smirked. "Well, Yao-Chan, if you're so set on being a host, you better learn how to dance like one"

* * *

"Left, right, left, right, side, and—ow!"

"I'm sorry!" Yao exclaimed, his cheeks turning pink. Him and Sofia had spent the afternoon spinning and turning in circles, stepping on each other's toes (well, more of Yao stepping on her toes) and letting out inhuman screeches of pain.

"It's—it's alright," Sofia's smile was about as tight as Francis's skinny jeans. "It's fun getting to dance with you"

Yao knew that a cactus would have been a better dance partner than him, but he was grateful that Sofia stepped up anyways. And he was especially thankful that she didn't give up on him. If she didn't, either the twins or Francis would surly step up to the call. And Yao would definitely be stuck with the girl's part.

"Uh—you, too" Yao was never good with words.

In a far corner, Francis lingered in the shadows, staring with complete and utter hatred. Whether it was directed at Yao for getting to dance with Sofia or at Sofia for getting to dance with Yao, no one could really tell.

Since everyone else had their waltzing skills down, it was basically free time for them. Alfred and Matthew were simultaneously doing the Macarena in the center, and the looks on their faces made it more hilarious then their actions already were. Kiku was on his laptop, trying to make it look like he didn't know any of them. And Ludwig was spinning Feli around in circles, with Feli giggling and yelling "faster, _faster_!" at the top of his lungs. Yao just knew that someone was going to walk by, hear him, and write some sort of incredibly disturbing fanfiction.

"Let's take a break," Sofia said, taking a step back. She looked like she was going to walk away; but instead, she stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck, locking him in a tight hug. She lingered for a bit, much too long for it to be a friendly hug. "I _really_ enjoyed dancing with you, Yao-Kun,"

"Y-yeah, you too," Yao whispered, walking over to the nearest table and pouring himself a cup of tea. Sofia quickly fixed her hair, and then sat down at one of the tables, her back to the rest of them.

"Having fun?" Francis grunted, crossing his arms in a pout.

"I guess," Yao shrugged, taking a sip. "Are these teacups old?"

"Yeah, the new ones don't come in until—" Francis started.

"_NOOOOOOOWWWW_!" a voice with a very thick Spanish accent yelled, his voice echoing in the room. A boy ran across the room, holding a cardboard box in his arms. He was quite obviously Hispanic; with tan skin, dark, messy hair, and bright green eyes. He was smiling like he didn't have a problem in the alternate reality he was obviously currently living in, and he gave Francis that awkward-boy-hug and setting the cardboard box on the table. "Sorry it came so late, but you should'a thought of that before you ordered them straight from Spain"

"Thanks," Francis kissed both his cheeks (a French tradition that often confused Yao,) and then turned to Yao. "Yao-Kun, this is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, he's an exchange student from Spain"

"Hello—" Yao started, holding out his hand for a shake.

"_Hola_!" Antonio exclaimed, pulling his hand towards him and trapping him in a tight hug. "It's so nice to meet you!"

Yao's eyes were wide, and he simply stood there for a moment, looking around before patting Antonio a couple of times on the back to calm him down. "It's—uh—it's nice to meet you, too"

Antonio laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "You're a good hugger. I like you"

"Thanks," Yao muttered, rubbing his arms. That guy had a tight grip.

"Yao-Kun!" Sofia exclaimed, turning in her seat and smiling at him. "We should really get back to dancing"

"Ok," Yao started, but Sofia didn't move. Neither did anyone in the room. Yao took a few steps towards Sofia, but Kiku grabbed him by the sleeve, shaking his head. Yao noticed the silence, looking around, wondering what exactly was going on. Sofia and Antonio had complete and total eye contact, green meeting violet, asking some kind of silent question that was too quiet and discreet for anyone to hear.

"I—I have to, uh," Sofia jumped to her feet, walking straight past Antonio, all while looking at the floor. "I have to go"

Antonio turned his head, watching her go. He then ran off, shouting something along the lines of "enjoy the teacups!" before slamming the door behind him. Yao looked at each of the host club members, slowly raising an eyebrow. "_What _just happened?"

"Carriedo-San and Edelstein-San used to be engaged," Kiku explained, his fingers darting across his keyboard. "It didn't really work out, though. She doesn't like to be tied down, he likes to have fun . . . you do the math"

"Oh," Yao said, looking up towards the door. "I wish they could've worked it out. They both seem so hurt"

"No need for wishin', Yao-Chan," Francis smirked, and then snapped his fingers, resting his thumb on his chin with his pointer finger extended. "Because we are going to _make _it work!"

* * *

Yao wished that he could've spent the night of the dance actually _dancing_, but he'd been placed in a chair, with Ludwig holding his hands back behind his back, and the other members of the host club crowding around him with make-up, jewelry, and accessories.

"What'll go better with his skin, red, pink, or brown?"

"Try pink, his dress is red"

"Get his hair down, that'll make him look more girly! And don't forget flowers, that'll help"

"Red _really is_ his color, his lips look excellent red"

"I don't know what's missing . . . his blush should look pinker, right?"

"Of course, you idiot!"

"I'm thinking either a rose, orchid, or plum blossoms for his hair"

"Plum blossoms are the Chinese national flower, right? Use those"

"Ok, I think he's ready"

Yao thought he looked ridiculous, but the other boys assured him that he looked as 'pretty as a plum blossom,' all while giggling like school girls. They'd let his hair down, pinning it back with clips that had plum blossoms on it (Yao wondered where they got that,) and they'd done his make-up quite professionally. He was wearing a red, traditional Chinese dress, its sleeves short as to "show off those amazing arms of his."

Yao sighed in annoyance, walking over to the designated room. Antonio was already waiting, and when Yao entered the room, he looked back at him and smiled. Not that happy-go-lucky smile that he had before, but that wow-I-really-feel-sorry-for-you smile.

"Hey," he said, walking towards him. "Funny, you don't look like the kinda girl I pictured"

Yao cleared his throat, and tried to make his voice sound as feminine as possible. "What did you expect?"

Antonio giggled a bit, handing him the letter. "Someone who would write this"

Yao took the letter from him, and his eyes widened in horror as he read it.

_I'm in love-love! _

_From the first time I saw you, I've been head-over-heels in LOVE! It's like my heart is stuck in a never-ending typhoon! All these feelings of love keep whipping around in my heart like the breaking waves! When the typhoon's rising waters come, I want to ran-de-vu with you on Noah's Art! I do, I do! _

_Who would write such a stupid letter?_ Yao thought, and little did he know that it had actually been a very enjoyable group project for the twins and Kiku. Al even brought cookies.

"Hey . . . have we met before? You look very familiar," Antonio said, squinting a bit.

That only caused Yao to panic. "Oh—no! This is the first time I've ever talked to you!"

"Yeah, ok," Antonio took a step back, sighing. "Look, it was really awesome to get a letter like that. I'm not even kidding; I could just feel the enthusiasm. But I don't like you like that. I mean, this is the first time I've ever talked to you. The truth is, I already like someone else"

"Oh . . ." Yao slapped on his most disappointed look, rubbing his arms like he was truly upset. "I didn't know you had a girlfriend"

"She's not my girlfriend," Antonio laughed a little, turning and looking out the window. "To be honest . . . I doubt she even notices me. She's been with all these other guys and . . . now she's leaving"

Yao's eyes widened. "What do you mean?"

"She's . . . she's going home soon," Antonio sighed. "She came here from Austria, and I came from Spain. But our parents always knew each other. Every now and then, when we were kids, we'd meet up and play together. But we were really supposed to meet in the middle here, in Japan. It's not like she ever pays me any attention anyways. She didn't even tell me she was going home"

* * *

"Where exactly are you taking me, Francis?" Sofia asked, as Francis led her across the hallways.

"Nowhere in particular," Francis admitted, before stopping in the middle of the hallway. "You know, it took a bit of tough research and some even tougher hacking for Kiku to find out that you asked to go home early"

Sofia looked at him with wide eyes, and then looked down. It looked like she was trying everything in her power not to cry.

"You didn't even tell Antonio, did you?" Francis asked, and for the longest time, Sofia didn't answer. It took minutes, but she finally looked up, her lip quivering as she spoke.

". . . It's no use. I'm never going to be his type," Sofia gave a small, sad laugh. "He's so funny and smart and popular. And I'm just . . . I'm just me. He'd be a lot happier with someone with a lot more self-confidence than me"

"So you've been jumping from host to host in an attempt to get him to hate you?" Francis asked; his eyes full of sympathy.

"Hate me, think I'm a whore . . . notice me . . ." Sofia admitted. "I want to go home. Get my thoughts together. Become a better person. I know it sounds selfish, but . . . I just . . . I hope he'll wait for me"

"Yeah," Francis nodded. "You're right, that is pretty selfish"

There was a pause, and you could practically see the words _awkward_ written in the air above them. Sofia wasn't facing him, but her eyes were looking straight at him in a way that seemed to scream _what_?!

"He's a _human being_, Sofia, not a dog that you can tie to a post," Francis said, crossing his arms. "You can't expect him to wait for you when you just suddenly pick up and leave him. But who knows? Maybe he will wait for you, if you just tell him how you feel. Just because you feel one way doesn't mean he is going to automatically feel the same. He won't know if you never tell him"

Sofia just stared at him, her bottom lip quivering, tears beginning to form at the sides of her eyes. Francis opened up his arms, and she dashed into them, accepting his hug completely.

"You two obviously have very strong feelings towards each other," Francis said, smoothening down her hair. "So you should go for it. I think once you've decided to change, the transformation's already begun"

Sofia looked up, her face tearstained. "F-Francis . . ."

At that moment, the door opened. Antonio stood in the doorway, while Francis hugged her close to his chest, with her sobbing like a newborn baby and saying his name. Antonio looked like he was either stabbed or had just witnessed the death of the world's cutest puppies. Maybe stabbed while watching the death of the world's cutest puppies.

"I—I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to interrupt you two"

He turned, practically running down the hallway. In her confusion, Sofia turned to Francis.

Francis let her go, throwing his hands up in the air in confusion. "_What're you standing here looking at _me_ for?! Go, go, go!_"

Sofia took off like a bullet, chasing Antonio down the hallway. Even in her three-inch-heels, that girl was fast. "Antonio! _Antonio_!"

Yao came running out of the class room, giving Francis an annoyed look. "I think we only made matters worse"

"Maybe," Francis shrugged. "But she did go running after him"

In his realization, Yao couldn't help but smile.

* * *

"Antonio!"

Sofia grabbed Antonio by the arm, forcing him to stop. "Antonio, please, listen to me!"

"I get it; you're over me!" Antonio snapped, jerking his arm away. "You don't have to rub it in my face!"

"That's not it at all—!" Sofia started, just as three spotlights turned on at the exact same moment, causing the two of them to shield their eyes from the blinding lights. Sofia blinked, as the doors to the patio opened, causing every single person who attended the dance to pour onto the patio, chattering in both delight and wonder.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, the last dance of this evening's festivities shall be the Last Waltz,_" Francis announced, pointing at the two of them. "_Performed by this couple_"

Sofia gigged, turning to Antonio with tears in her eyes. "I know this is supposed to be the other way around, but . . . do you want to dance?"

Antonio laughed, and in fact, he'd laughed the loudest than he had all day. He bowed, offering her his hand. "Do we really have any other choice?"

It seems a bit cliché to say, but Sofia and Antonio simply danced. Turning and spinning around, steps in perfect sync with each other. It was different from when Sofia danced with Yao. A bit like Cinderella and her prince, they just _knew _how to dance with each other. Yes, it does seem a bit cliché, but isn't love a bit cliché in itself? And let's be honest, who _doesn't_ love clichés?

"Antonio," Sofia whispered, just loud enough for him to hear, but soft enough for no one else to. "I love you. I want to be with you"

Everyone on the patio was wondering why Antonio Carriedo was suddenly smiling like a moron while dancing with that one girl who liked to play the piano in her spare time. But every member of the host club exchanged a glance, smiling in a way that everyone else thought was a bit creepy.

_It is the duty of the elite Hetalia High School Host Club to make every girl happy. _

And to Yao, this job suddenly didn't seem so bad anymore.

* * *

_**Ok, if you're wondering something along the lines of "WHAT THE FUCK, SPAAUS? A CRACK COUPLE? WHY NOT JUST SPAMANO AGWUDGFYUDGSYGFJHADBFJKDAG"**_

_**Like I said in an earlier chapter: the main characters are most likely always going to be Germany, Italy, and Japan, unless I think other characters fit the bill. I don't know if you know this, but once upon a time, Spain and Austria were once married. I wrote the beginning to this chapter over a year ago for a story I was once helping someone with, but they went MIA and I've had this unused idea ever since. Since I'd already given that I'd already given Hungary the part of Renge, I figured I'd do something different. Plus, I just know that there aren't enough SpaAus fanfiction. **_

_**Once again, an Ouran High school Host Club AU was requested by theotakuat221b. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja**_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!* **_


	6. A Hetalia Fairy Tale: Mulan

_**This chapter was one of the four AUs requested by **_crazy YinYang writer7_**. A note, I'm sorry to say that I have never seen "Scrubs." But I will work extra-freaking-hard on the other three you requested just as an apology. **__** But, I hope you like this. **_

_**Warning: another gender-bent character. And if ya hate gender-bents so much, I'm sorry; this anime had mostly male characters and I'm doing the best I can, here. **_

_**I couldn't think of a pun to do as a title here. So just go with it. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter 6 ~ * ~ ***_

_**- A Hetalia Fairy Tale: Mulan -**_

"A lady is calm"

Sakura let out a breath, walking slowly around her room. With a paintbrush, she drew the characters onto her arm, blowing on it after every stroke. "Wise, graceful . . ." she drew the characters onto her arm, blew on it, and then grabbed a handful of rice and shoved it into her mouth. "Puh-hunk-tu-al!"

"_Sakura_!"

Sakura sighed in annoyance, sitting down on her bed. She could recognize Im Yong Soo's annoying little voice anywhere. No doubt his _stupid twin_ was around here somewhere, but Hyung Soo was a little better than Yong Soo when it came down to the annoyance factor. She decided to ignore him. "A lady is polite, a lady is considerate"

"_Sakura, Sakura, Sakura_!" he was now slamming his palm on the door.

Sakura inhaled, exhaled, crossed her legs and then continued to write on her arm. "Think before you act, and this shall—"

"SAKURA!" he was now pounding his fist on the door.

"—bring you—"

"SAKURA, SAKURA, SAKURA!"

"—honor and—"

"_SAKURASAKURASAKURASAKURASAKURASAKURA_—"

Sakura got up, threw open the door and scowled at her little brother. "_What_?!"

Im Yong Soo crossed his arms, giving her the best dirty look he could manage. "What're you still doing here?_ Appa _says you should've left for the Matchmaker's office half an hour ago"

"I'll be ready when I'm ready!" Sakura snapped, and for the first time, Im Yong Soo got a look at her arm.

"What's on your arm?" he asked.

"None of your business," Sakura scowled, and then looked down the hall. "Speaking of daddy, where is he?"

"Temple, probably," Im Yong Soo shrugged. "Probably praying his heart out for a nice blind man with very low standards to marry you"

"Shut up," Sakura growled, running over to the kitchen and making a batch of tea. As much as she hated to admit it, Yong Soo was right in a sense. There was no doubt he was praying for her to impress the Matchmaker.

It actually took a lot more that most expected to impress the Matchmaker. She was small for her age, but pretty enough, with eyes that were only slightly larger than her brothers and long, inky black hair. She wasn't exactly anything overly special to look at, not extremely pretty and polite and graceful like her sister, Mei. There was a promise with Mei: she was _definitely _going to impress the Matchmaker. Meanwhile, there was Sakura, more than two years older than her and writing poetry quotes on her arm like a child cheating on a test.

And so, Wan Yao stood in the center of stones, praying to his ancestors. Kasem was meditating nearby with Kaoru, who looked extremely board with the entire process, but was only doing it because his father had said something along the lines of "the more, the merrier!"

Yao lit a thin rod on fire, only enough for it to smoke, and then set it in the gray dish setting before him. He kneeled before the graves of his ancestors, his lips moving to his unspoken words. "_Oh, great and powerful ancestors, please help Sakura impress the Matchmaker today_—"

"_Otōsan_! _Otōsan_, I brought you some tea—!" Sakura ran in, tripping over Kaoru's legs (who didn't bother to move even when he saw her running over,) and falling to the floor. However, even from her place on the floor, she was able to catch the cup while Kasem made a grab for the teapot.

"Thank you," Sakura told her brother, who gave a dip of the head in response, and then turned to her father. "I made you some green tea. Remember what the doctor says, two in the morning, and two in the afternoon—"

"Sakura, weren't you supposed to leave an hour ago?" Yao asked.

"An hour and a half, now," Kaoru corrected.

"I'll be fine," Sakura rolled her eyes, giving him a kiss on the cheek and then running off. Kasem and Kaoru exchanged a glance, and then looked at their father. Yao sighed, and then turned back into the temple.

"I'm going to go . . . pray some more . . ."

* * *

"Sakura; what took you so long?!" Mei exclaimed, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her inside. "You're nearly two hours late!"

"I was busy," Sakura promised, but Mei hardly listened to her explanation. Though two years younger than Sakura, and therefore two more years safe from the Matchmaker's wrath, Mei knew everything about beauty and what girls were supposed to do to impress. Mei forced her down into a chair, grabbing and poking at her hair. "You could've _at least_ washed before coming here"

"I was kind of in a hurry," Sakura muttered, as Mei dug a comb through her hair with enough force to pull a grown man's arm off.

"Yet you still arrived late?" Mei sighed. "Well, honey, I've seen worse. I'm going to turn this sow's ear—"

"Are you talking about me in third-person?" Sakura asked, raising an eyebrow.

"—into a silk purse!" with that line, she dunked Sakura's head under the water. Sakura struggled a bit before she realized that Mei was only washing her hair. "Hush! I'll have you washed and dried; primped and polished 'till you glow with pride! It's just my recipe for instant bride"

"Why're you rhyming again?" Sakura asked, as Mei fixed her hair. Once she stuck a flower pin in it and added the final finishing touches, Mei squealed in happiness and then hugged her tightly. "You'll bring honor to us all!"

Mei led her over to her closet, as she studied Sakura over. Sakura really wasn't much to look at in any kind of aspect. About as curvy as a piece of cardboard, the only noticeable thing about her was her posture. She held her shoulders back, her back straight, and her chin high; the most proud and perfect posture anyone had ever seen on anyone. But 'proud' and 'woman' weren't exactly two words that would make the Matchmaker smile if you were to put them together.

Mei studied her figure for a bit longer, and then smiled and picked out a dress. "Remember, sis . . . men like girls with good taste. Calm, obedient, who work fast paced. With good breeding, and a tiny waist—you'll bring honor to us all!"

"Enough with the poetry," Sakura grunted, and nearly chocked when Mei tightened the ribbon around her waist. She hated this. It wasn't fair that she to focus her entire life on impressing men and having babies just because she was a woman. Mei kept singing about honor, but she couldn't find any honor in being a porcelain doll for the rest of her life.

Mei finished the last touches of her make-up, and Sakura blinked, getting used to the feeling of having something thicker than paint stuck on her face. "Am I ready?"

"Not quite," Mei pressed her lips together, and then smiled. "Don't tell _bà_, but I got a few good luck charms," she pressed a finger to her lips, made a 'shh' sound, and then pulled a few things out of her bag. "An apple for serenity; a pendant for balance," she stuck an apple in Sakura's mouth, and then tucked a pendant in the ribbon around her waist. "Beads of jade for beauty, you must proudly show. Now add a cricket—"

"Get that bug away from me!" Sakura exclaimed, but Mei insisted on putting the cage behind her, attaching it to her belt.

"—just for luck," Mei smiled, and then hugged her big sister tightly. "Now even _you_ can't blow it!"

Sakura smiled a bit at her sister's joke, and then exited the house. _Ancestors; hear my plea; help me not to make of fool of me, and to not uproot my family tree. Keep my father standing tall._

She had to run a bit to catch up with the other girls, keeping up their perfect postures. Their hairstyles and dresses were similar to hers, but they seemed to wear it better somehow. Their bodies looked simply made to wear pretty dresses, while Sakura was tripping over the hem and fumbling to hold her umbrella (it was sunny out, why did she even _need_ an umbrella?)

She mimicked the other girl's motions, opening up the umbrella and ducking behind it.

_Scarier than the undertaker,_

The doors abruptly opened with a sound like thunder, and it showed the Matchmaker. She was young for her profession, a woman who was pretty enough with long, white-blonde hair and a bow that was unusually placed on the top of her head. Even with her beauty, she had a set of blue eyes that could kill a sumo wrestler with a single scowl. She took a pen out from behind her ear, and her blue snake-like eyes overlooked the girls. She didn't look impressed.

_We are meeting our Matchmaker._

* * *

"Wan Sakura?"

People make mistakes, right?

It was just another aspect of being human.

For example, yelling 'present' and speaking without permission was a mistake. Getting ink smeared all over the Matchmaker's hand was another mistake. Fumbling up on her words was mistake number three. Trying to get the cricket-filled cup out of the matchmaker's hands was other mistake. Falling backwards and crushing the table: mistake. A cricket fell down the matchmaker's shirt: small accident. Matchmaker falling into the fire: horrible, big accident.

The entire time, Sakura was simply trying to help. When she fanned the fire, she was only trying to put it out—but she ended up making it worse. Dumping hot tea on her ended up being what put out the fire for good. She wasn't trying to be funny; she wasn't out to humiliate the matchmaker in front of the neighborhood. She was only trying to help.

Sakura took that the matchmaker thought differently. Maybe she figured that humiliating Sakura would overshadow the fact that she was covered in ink and soaked in hot tea. So Sakura handed her back her teapot and then rushed to her siblings. She thankfully had a lot of them, and even Im Yong Soo seemed to get that something terrible had happened and rubbed her arms and glared at the matchmaker. But none of them dared to try and hide her.

"_You are a disgrace_!" the Matchmaker screeched, slamming the teapot at her feet. One of the shards tore a bit of her dress, and Sakura fought her every urge to cry. That was exactly what she wanted. "_You may look like a bride, but you will never bring your family honor_!"

Mistakes, right?

Sakura walked home alone that evening.

All of her siblings didn't bother to walk with her, though Mei tried to walk forward and comfort her, Kaoru grabbed her by the arm and stopped her, shaking his head. Im Yong Soo was crying for her, as not a single tear would escape her eyes. She was too humiliated to cry.

She entered the house through the garden gate, and her father smiled at her. His smile was what caused all that sadness to come back, so she turned her head abruptly. She took a few steps, and then ran off at full speed. Yao walked towards his children, asking how it went, why Yong Soo was crying, why Sakura entered by herself and all alone. No answer to any of those questions was a good one.

Sakura fell to her knees at the pond, setting the cricket free and pulling her knees to her chest. _I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry_, she repeated to herself over and over and over again until she felt she would be saying that line in her sleep. The Matchmaker was the ultimate, only, and final test for every woman in China, and she'd failed it in matter of minutes.

She stared into the pond, dunking her hands in the water and washing that horrible make-up off her face. She let her hair down; she ripped the comb out of her hair and threw it across the yard. She ripped off the beads and threw them in the pond, pulling off every tight article of clothing she was wearing until wore nothing but a simple, white garment. When she was free of everything that was fake about her, when she felt like herself again, that's when she began to cry.

_Look at me_, she thought, teardrops falling in the water. _I will never pass for the perfect bride_. Her father must've been so disappointed in her by now. A girl can bring her family honor in one way, and that's getting married to a great man and having lots of children. It was so simple, and she couldn't even do that. _Or a perfect daughter. Can it be? I wasn't meant to play this part. _

She looked down at her reflection in the water, at her tear-stained face, still dripping black from all the make-up she was wearing. And she still didn't feel like herself. None of this was what she wanted. _Who is that girl I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know?_

_Somehow I cannot hide, who I am, though I've tried, _Sakura let out a breath, wiping the corners of her eyes. _When will my reflection show, who I am inside?_

"Are you ok?"

She turned, seeing Yao sit down next to her. She quickly wiped all the tears away, sucking in her breathing and trying to make it sound as if she hadn't been crying. "Yes, I'm fine,"

For a moment, they sat in silence, until Yao spoke. "Aren't the flowers beautiful?" when she didn't answer, he simply continued, pointing to a flower that was still nothing but a bud. "Oh, look; that one's late," he tucked her hair back with the very same flower pin that she'd thrown, and her guess was that he'd retrieved it for her. The thought that he would do that was enough to make her smile. "I bet when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all"

She was about to hug him, until there came the sound of beating drums. "What is it?"

He got up, but signaled for her to stay put. Kasem cleared his throat, and then made a head motion to the roof. Sakura ran off, climbing to the top of the roof to see a couple of soldiers ride in on horseback. The man in the front opened up his scroll, and then read off it. "Citizens, the Huns have invaded China"

A hushed gasp went over the crowd, accompanied by a lot of murmuring. They couldn't have gotten past the wall, could they? "One man, either the father or first-born son of every family must fight in the war. The Fa Family; the Ying Family; the Chao Family; the Ye Family," he looked down at his scroll, and then called. "The Wan family?"

"No," Sakura whispered, as did all of her siblings. While Kasem, Yong Soo, Hyung Soo, and Kaoru were all male, none of them were first born children. Yao simply limped forward, bowed, and then offered his hand to get the scroll.

"_Otōsan_, you can't go!" Sakura yelled, running past the people and straight up to the soldier. "Please, sir, my father has already fought in the army and he's very injured—"

"_Enough_!" the man Sakura mainly knew as the Emperor's lapdog snapped. "You should teach your daughter to hold her tongue, in a man's presence"

"Sakura, you have dishonored me," Yao hissed under his breath, taking the scroll and then limping back towards the house. Lien walked forward, putting an arm around her sister's shoulders.

"Don't worry, Sakura," she whispered, leading her back to the house. "Everyone makes mistakes"

* * *

Silence; they ate in complete silence.

As a family of eight with no mother to keep everyone in check and in fear, dinners were usually loud and enjoyable, and someone always ended up with a face-full of rice. But not today. Today it was horribly silent, with everyone eating quietly and simply behaving like they should. And it made Sakura sick to her stomach. She looked to her left, at Mei, who looked like she could burst into tears at any moment, and to her right, at Kaoru, who actually had a certain look on his face for once, though it wasn't a good one. Sakura's eyebrows furrowed in anger, and she slammed her teacup on the table, standing up abruptly.

"You shouldn't have to go!" she snapped.

"Sakura—!" Kasem started.

"There are plenty of young men to fight for China!" Sakura continued; her voice cracking.

"I will fight for my country and my honor," Yao said, glaring up at his daughter, though not moving from his seat.

"So you'll die for honor?" Sakura snapped. That caused another silence. The subject that Yao's wounds could cause him to die any second simply by doing everyday activities was a touchy one. Sakura looked around, and then an idea came to her. Not thinking at all, she spoke. "I'll go"

"_What_?" Yao exclaimed.

"They said the first born could replace you, I'll go fight in the army!" Sakura insisted. "I'll cut my hair, if I wear your armor I'll look just like a boy! They'll never know—!"

"That's enough!" Yao snapped, standing off. "I won't sit back and let you walk straight to your death for something this insane!"

"And you expect me to let you do that?" Sakura shrieked. "Father, I—!"

"_I know my place_!" Yao shouted, causing everyone at the table to flinch. "It's time you learned yours"

Sakura's lip quivered; and she turned, running at the speed of light out of that room, out of that house, and into the rain. She hugged her knees to her chest, biting her lower lip. Before she knew it, she was crying again. This just wasn't fair. Why did her father have to die? There were plenty of other men, even if her idea of dressing up like a man and fighting for the army was _that_ ridiculous.

She heard footsteps, as Kaoru put a blanket around her shoulders. Her brother didn't try to coax her inside; he simply crouched down and gave her a hug. "Everyone makes mistakes, Sakura. Don't take it too hard"

* * *

Approximately two hours after Yao and the Wan children woke up in the dead of the night to find his armor stolen, his scroll replaced with a flower hair pin, the family horse missing, and Sakura nowhere in sight, the ghost of a man with a long beard came from one of the many tombstones in the family temple. With a permanent bored expression etched on his face, he waved his hand at the metal dragon. "Awaken"

Instantly, the dragon sprang to life, crashing to the floor. But even through the smoke, the now-live dragon showed no interest in moving. "_Jesus, is it that hard to let a guy sleep_?!"

"You've been sleeping for the past thirty years, Lovino," the ghost growled.

"Do you know how long thirty years is in dragon time?" The miniature dragon, Lovino, snapped. "More like thirty seconds"

"You're hardly dragon enough to go by dragon time," the ghost muttered.

"_What'd you say 'bout me_?!" Lovino snapped, slamming his claws on his chest multiple times and jumping up and down. "_Bitch, I will fuck you UP_!"

"_Lovino_!" the guardian snapped, and Lovino cringed.

"Yes, sir?" he then realized something, and then got a look of excitement on his face. "Ooh, ooh! Did something happen? Are you gonna let me be a guardian again—?!"

The ghost laughed. "Hardly. Lovino, what do _they_ do?" he gestured to a group of impressive statues near the top of the temple.

Lovino muttered in annoyance. "They . . . protect the family . . ."

"And you?" the ghost chuckled. "What do _you_ do?"

"I . . . I bang the gong," Lovino sighed.

"Exactly," the ghost tossed the gong at him, and it hit him full in the face. "Now awaken the Great Stone Dragon!"

Lovino grunted in annoyance, walking down the steps of the temple with the gong slung over his back. He _was _a real dragon! Why did everyone have to think otherwise? Sure, he was small, and for someone over the age of 1,000 his fire-breathing skills were quite laughable. But he was surely better than the Great Stone Bastard.

"Yo, poser!" Lovino shouted, slamming the mallet on the gong. "Ya gotta go fetch She-Man!" no response, just the usual look one gets from stone. Lovino grunted in annoyance, climbing up the side of the statue and ramming his gong into its ear. "Hello? _Hello_? _HELLO_!" before he knew it, the dragon's stone ear broke off. And it was all downhill from there.

Sitting in the middle of the statue's pieces, Lovino began to panic. What was he supposed to do? Go back and say 'hey, group of ghosts who already hate me, I kind of _broke_ our most powerful guardian. Sorry about that'? No, that wasn't going to work. Not since last time.

Not that they really had the right to be mad at him. It was an accident! Surely they made mistakes to. They had too, they were _dead_. Lovino cried for couple of minutes, and then an idea came to him.

Ooh, this was gonna be good. Great, even. After this, there were going to _beg_ him to come back!

* * *

"Why, hello, there, fellow manly man!" Sakura practiced in the deepest voice she could muster. "Where do I sign in? Ah, I see you have a sword! I have one, too! They're very manly and—tough—!" while trying to unsheathe her sword, she fumbled and dropped it. She sighed; her attempts were laughable, really.

"Who am I kidding?" she sighed, looking onto the camp. "It's going to take a miracle to get me in"

"_Did somebody ask for a miracle_?!" there was a burst of flames, and the shadow of something huge, something terrifying, was projected onto the rocks. Sakura screamed in terror, falling backwards and scrambling behind a rock.

"Who are you?!" she shrieked.

"Who am I? _Who_ am _I_? I am the all-powerful guardian your ancestors sent to protect you!" the voice exclaimed, causing the corners of Sakura's mouth to tug into a smile. "I am the _powerful_," smile was getting wider now. "The _pleasurable_," that smile was now a grin. "_The unforgettable Lovino_!"

The smile was gone now.

For something so 'powerful, pleasurable, and unforgettable,' Lovino looked like something powerless, pathetic, and forgettable. About the size of a gecko, and in similar colors of red, white, and green, Lovino held himself like a king would. He had confidence, Sakura would admit that, but that was about it. And her horse stepped forward and trampled him without even knowing it.

Sakura called her horse off Lovino, and then helped the little _thing_ onto its feet. "My ancestors sent a little lizard to protect me?"

"Hey, hey, hey, I'm a dragon, _dragon_! Not lizard! I don't do that tongue thing!" Lovino snapped, slapping her hand away.

"And why do you sound Italian?" Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Lots of dragons are from Italy!" Lovino snapped. "My brother Romeo—runs a temple down in Venice. My cousin Vinnie—currently working in Thailand, and trust me, you _do not_ wanna be in Thailand right about now! There are _plenty _of respectable Italian dragon figures, lady, don't be so racist!"

"Noted," Sakura sighed, her mouth a tight line. "So, why don't you go back and tell me ancestors that this was all much appreciated, but I don't need protecting"

"Yet you were asking for a miracle a second ago," Lovino rolled his eyes. "Honey, you don't know the first thing about being a boy"

"I grew up with four brothers!" Sakura snapped.

"Four _younger_ brothers," Lovino scoffed. "None of those guys are men yet. Stick with me, kid, and you'll have that man thing down flat"

"You're not even a man, you're a lizard," Sakura scoffed, and that seemed to put Lovino over the edge.

"OK, that's it, that's _it_!" Lovino fumed, pointing to everything around him. "This is just dishonor, _dishonor_! Dishonor on _you_, dishonor on _your cow_, dishonor on your_ whole family_—!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Sakura exclaimed, getting down on her knees in front of him. "I'm just nervous"

"Yeah, well, don't let it happen again," Lovino climbed up her arm and onto her shirt collar, hiding behind her neck. "By the way, nice haircut"

* * *

Three minutes and thirty seconds into being male, Sakura already wanted to go home.

She was the firstborn daughter back at home, and for that reason, her father often gave her what could be defined as 'special treatment.' She was daddy's little girl, no if's, and's, or but's about it. For that reason, most of her brothers (with the exception of Yong Soo,) kept their distance. And if not for that, she knew how to do a jump-kick, so it wasn't exactly a hard decision.

But none of that really mattered to anyone here. There didn't seem to be anyone over the age of twenty-three, which made sense, considering the wounded rate of their last battle with the Huns. She was used to most of this stuff: the burping, the smell, the use of chopsticks to get rid of that weird-looking grime between your toes. None of this was even half as bad as Kaoru's bedroom alone.

"This should be easy, right—?" Sakura started, just as a skinny-looking man opened up his shirt to reveal a tattoo of a dragon on his chest.

"This dragon will protect me from harm," he smiled, and a tall blonde man got a pondering look on his face before punching him straight in the chest. The man flew backwards, knocking over a bit of pottery and chairs in the process.

The smaller man next to him was cackling with laughter. "_Kya-ha-ha! I hope you get your money back_!"

"I don't think I can do this," Sakura whispered.

"You _can_, and you_ will_," Lovino hissed in response. "You don't even have to talk to them, just go and get signed in!"

Sakura took two steps, and then bumped into the very same man who punched a guy and made him fly three feet. He turned, scowling at her, showing a pair of piercing blue eyes that made her let out a noise of fear. "Watch it"

"S-sorry—," Sakura started.

"No, no, don't apologize!" Lovino silently exclaimed. "He's being rude! Snap back!"

"I—I mean," Sakura slapped the best sneer that she could muster onto her face. "You watch it, Blondie, you were in my way"

"_What_ did you just say to me?" the blonde man snapped, taking a step closer to her. Sakura's eyes widening, letting out a squeak of fear.

"Luddy, Luddy, calm down!" the smaller man, the one who'd only seconds earlier found amusement in someone else's pain, rushed forward and latched onto his arm, pulling him off of her. "Let's find your happy place! _Ha-mu-ra-me-tofu-da_. . ."

"Ha-mu-ra-me . . ." the blonde man, 'Luddy' surely couldn't have been his name, seemed to calm down when the smaller man rocked back and forth, humming the words over and over again. Sakura and Lovino simply stared at them with expressions of confusion on their faces. The blonde man scoffed, turning away. "I'll get you next time, dumbass"

"_Dumbass_?!" Lovino screeched, and Sakura made every nonobvious attempt she could to shut him up. "_Why don't you come here and say that to my face, you fag bastard_?!"

Before she could exclaim that she hadn't said that, the blonde man had grabbed her by the collar and hoisted her up into the air. She struggled a bit, saying about a thousand excused to why he shouldn't kill her at warp-speed. He drew his fist back, but she ducked, and he ended up hitting an albino man instead.

"_Oops_! Sorry, Gil," the blonde man offered a smile, to which he responded with by tackling him to the ground. While the guy with the curl was exclaiming for them to stop it, Sakura found this her chance to escape. She turned, only to bump straight into what felt like an iron pole.

Except it _wasn't_ iron. The man was extremely tall, a giant in comparison to Sakura, with messy brown hair and green, cat-like eyes. He stared down at her, and she offered a nervous smile. "Hello"

The man looked up, and then barked at the men. "Soldiers!"

The two men stopped, and Gil made one last punch to the blonde man's face before they both pointed at Sakura and shouted. "_He started it_!"

The man turned to Sakura with a look in his eyes like bloody murder. "Did you make them fight on purpose?"

"No—" Sakura started.

"Yes, yes he did! I saw him do it!" the small, brunette man exclaimed, pointing at her. "He ducked and Made Luddy hit Gil instead of him!"

"And you didn't bother to try and stop either fight from happening?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow. The brunette man's face paled.

"I—um—I—well—!" he spluttered, but the man wasn't hearing it.

"Soldiers, state your names," he snapped, and the three men saluted.

"Ludwig Beilschmidt, sir!" the blonde man exclaimed.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt, sir!" the albino man shouted.

"F-Feliciano Vargas," the brunette man squeaked.

The man turned to Sakura, his eyes filled with anger. "And you?"

"I—I um—" Sakura spluttered. What was she supposed to say? It wasn't like 'Sakura' was a unisex name.

"Uh . . . how about Feliciano?" Lovino suggested.

"_His _name is Feliciano," Sakura muttered, but apparently, the man heard her.

"I didn't ask for _his_ name, I asked for yours!" he snapped.

"I—uh—I have a name," Sakura gave a nervous laugh in an attempt to buy time. "And, uh, it's a boy's name, like yours"

"Aaa-choo," Lovino made a sneezing sound.

"Aaa-choo," Sakura repeated.

"Aaa-choo?" the man asked.

"Bless you," Lovino giggled.

"_Lovino_," Sakura hissed.

"Lovino?" the man asked.

"No!" Sakura exclaimed.

"Then what is it?" the man snapped.

"Ooh! Kiku, that sounds like an Asian name!" Lovino exclaimed.

"It's Kiku," Sakura said quickly.

"Kiku?" the man asked, as if making sure that this was the finalized name and that she wasn't going to change it again this time.

"Of course, there is such thing as a name that's _too Asian_—," Lovino started, but Sakura put her hand over his mouth.

"Yes, it's Kiku," she said.

"Well, boys," the man scowled at her, and then turned to the other three men. "Thanks to your new friend, Kiku, the four of you will be cleaning up all of the equipment you broke, the food you spilled, and the area you destroyed after your little fight session. Make sure to pick up every individual grain of rice. Tomorrow, the real training begins"

Throughout the cleaning process, all the other men did was glare at her while they did what they were supposed to do. Sakura cringed; this was already bad.

"On the bright side," Lovino said, handing her a tiny grain of rice. "At least you made some friends!"

* * *

No matter how hard she tried, Sakura always ended up near the three people who hated her most: Gilbert, Ludwig, and Feliciano. Feliciano was cute rather than intimidating most times, more or less like Gilbert and Ludwig's personal cheerleader, but it still was upsetting to know that he'd be chanting some cheers while they beat her face in.

So, as expected, Sakura stood in line directly between Ludwig and Gilbert, with Feliciano giggling with joy. The man who punished them the other day entered, snapped at Feliciano to stop laughing (to which he obeyed without protest,) dropped his bag on the ground, and then stripped off his shirt (it took all of Sakura's power not to squeal.) "Good morning, soldiers. My name is Heracles Karpusi, I'm your general. Anyone with complaints answers to me"

"A _Greek_?" Gilbert hissed to his brother, raising an eyebrow.

"Gilbert," Heracles pointed the arrow at him, but only for a moment, and then fired the arrow at the top of an extremely tall wooden pole. He then smiled. "Thank you for volunteering. Retrieve the arrow"

"You're goddamn right I will, pretty boy," Gil snapped through gritted teeth, cracking his knuckles. "And I'll do it with my _shirt on_"

Gil tried to begin climbing, but Heracles stopped him. "Wait! You seem to be missing something," he tied a giant, golden pendant around his wrist. "This stands for balance," the weight of it was so heavy, it caused Gil's entire arm to go to the floor. Heracles responded by tying a second one around his other wrist. "And this stands for honor" Gil had trouble getting back up on his feet, with Ludwig and Feliciano giggling at his struggles.

They weren't giggling for long, though. Soon it was their turn. And every single time, they fell on their faces, asses, or backs. Heracles sighed in annoyance, rubbing his face. "We've got a lot of work to do," he picked up a number of long wooden fighting sticks. Gil caught his and Sakura's, and then used what should've been her own wooden weapon to trip her.

Heracles held his stick out in front of him, causing everyone to mimic his actions. He then threw two pots in the air, crushing them both in a single throw. "Let's get down to business. To defeat, the Huns!"

Everyone around her was obviously trying their best, but it was a pathetic attempt, all the same. Not five minutes had passed and there were broken pots and crushed egos everywhere. Heracles sighed. "Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons?"

_Yeah, kind of_, Sakura thought. She didn't expect to make it a day here without being noticed or having someone look in her tent and find a bra or a tube of conveniently placed lipstick that she didn't wear. And after seeing the way that Feliciano followed Gilbert and Ludwig around from _behind_, Sakura was beginning to think that she wasn't the only person here who was secretly a girl.

Sakura would've tried to smash pots, too, or whatever, but she felt something crawl down her back. Had she turned around, she would've seen Feliciano drop a scorpion down her shirt. She let out a noise of discomfort, dancing around and knocking people down with her wooden weapon. When around fifteen people had met their doom in the face of her stick, Heracles came over and stopped her.

"You're the saddest bunch I've ever met," Heracles had to duck since she accidently swung her 'weapon' out at him. "But you can _bet_ before we're through" he grabbed her by the collar, sneering at her straight in the face. "Mister, I'll make a man out of you"

Sakura doubted that very much for many reasons. She was obviously falling behind in nearly every sport. Not to mention when they were shooting arrows (a sport Heracles somehow called "easy,") Lovino often tried to cheat for her, and she always got caught. She was slower and weaker than everyone else. Not to mention Gilbert, Ludwig, and Feliciano were out to ruin everything for her, and it's not like they were discreet about it. They kicked over her cannon, made a big show out of throwing rocks at her during an exercise, tripped her during the runs, and she'd had various bugs dropped down her shirt. It was mostly just Gilbert and Ludwig, but Feliciano would always be laughing in the background.

And so when she went back to her tent one night, with every inch of her body aching and bruised, she found Heracles had packed all of her stuff up for her. He handed her horse's reigns to her, shaking his head. "You're not suited for the rage of war; so pack up, go home, you're through. How could I make a man out of you?"

Sakura took the horse, and as Heracles turned, he stopped. "Everyone makes mistakes, Wan. Don't take it too hard"

He was right. That was what she'd been saying all this time, right? Everyone makes mistakes. She couldn't be blamed for it. She got kicked out of the Matchmaker's office, which was the biggest honor for girls. How was getting kicked out of war, the biggest honor for boys, any different? That just meant she was bigger failure than previously thought.

Sakura paused, glancing from the tall wooden pole, to her horse, to Heracles's tent, and to the exit of the camp. She very suddenly had a horrible, crazy, insane idea that could just might work.

_You're wrong,_

_I haven't made a mistake. _

She tied the golden pendants around her wrists, and then attempted to climb up the normal way, like everyone else had. Like always, however, she failed. Sakura growled in annoyance. Why in the world would they give a task that was impossible to complete? Not only was it extremely high up, but all the weight on your hands made it even harder. Hell, not even the strongest man in camp could—!

Then the thought hit Sakura. Maybe this wasn't a test of strength, but a test of wisdom. She tossed the pendants behind the pole, tying them like one would shoelaces, and used them to help her climb her way up.

When morning was rising, she was already almost at the top. Sweat was beading down her forehead, but she _wasn't_ going to give up. Not after all of this. Plus that fall was really scary and she'd probably break a bone or two.

"Whoa, look at him go!"

"When did he start climbing?"

"Maybe he's been up there all night . . ."

"Go, Kiku, you're almost there!"

They were chanting her 'name' by now, and Sakura felt a new surge of confidence. She jumped onto the top of the pole, and just as Heracles exited the tent, she threw the arrow down at his feet. It landed literally centimeters away from his foot. When he looked up and saw her sitting on top of the post, he smiled.

Gilbert smirked, nudging him in the arm. "He looks cute with the sunrise behind him, doesn't he?"

"Shut up"

"Yes, sir"

* * *

"Who says you need a change of clothes?!" Lovino snapped. "I've gone _days_ without changing my clothes, weeks even!"

"You don't wear clothes," Sakura pointed out, taking her shirt off.

"What? You're wearing a _bra_ now?" Lovino snapped. "Some boy you are"

"I'm not a boy," Sakura scoffed, reaching for a shirt.

"Hey, Kiku, we've been real jerks lately, so we came to say we're sorry—" Ludwig started, with Gilbert and Feliciano following him. They paused, staring Sakura down while she had her shirt open. The four of them had wide eyes and gaping mouths, and Sakura made an attempt to close her shirt at top speed.

"W-well, hello, fellow manly-men—!"

"_The dude's a chick_!" Gilbert yelled at the top of his lungs. "_The dude's a chick_! THE DUDE'S A—!"

"Shh!" Sakura exclaimed, putting her palm over his mouth. "Please, please, _please_ don't tell!"

"You're a _girl_?!" Feliciano exclaimed. "If they found out, they'll kill you!"

"If things go the way like they're supposed to, they won't find out!" Sakura exclaimed. "I'm the firstborn, and if my father went, he'd die! He was really wounded from the war. Didn't the same thing happen with your parents?"

The three thought for a bit, and then Ludwig sighed. "Male, female, whatever you are . . . you're a great soldier. We'd lose a lot if we got rid of you. So I won't tell"

"Ludwig!" Gilbert hissed, and when Ludwig glared at him, he sighed. "I won't tell"

"I won't tell," Feliciano smiled, and he then narrowed his eyes. "As long as you tell me one thing . . . your name's not really 'Kiku,' right?"

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Sakura laughed. "No, of course not; it's Sakura"

* * *

_**There is a small chance of a part two here. It's already 16 pages on Word, and that's really long, even for these chapters. And halfway through writing this, I realized I couldn't fit all of my favorite Disney movie of all time in a single chapter. And yes, I changed something. Sue me. **_

_**Some words:**_

'_**Appa' is Korean for 'father'**_

'_**Otōsan' is Japanese for 'father'**_

'_**Bà' is Chinese for 'father'**_

_**If you didn't recognize all those song lyrics I put in there, we can't be friends. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	7. Axis Powers Hollywood

_**While I love doing your requests, I had to do this. **_

_**~ * ~ *Chapter 7 ~ * ~ ***_

_**- Axis Powers Hollywood –**_

Red roses meant a lot to him; in his home country, giving someone red roses was the equivalent to telling them 'I love you.' And there he was, smiling like an idiot, holding out the biggest bouquet of red roses Germany had ever seen. He spluttered and spat, trying to find a way for this to make sense and just be an innocent misunderstanding. "Why—why are you giving me flowers _today_? What're you saying?"

Italy shrugged. "It means what it means"

Like that made him feel any better. 'It means what it means' seemed like the final line in a lot of romance books. "How . . . how many people did you give flowers to?"

"Oh . . . just you, Germany?" Italy sounded unsure, as if treading lightly on the words just to make sure Germany thought they were true.

"_Just me_?! Why?! That's too weird!" Germany exclaimed, his face hot.

"Why . . .?" Italy clearly had no idea what he was talking about.

By now, Germany had gotten angry. His eyes narrowed and his teeth clenched, he asked. "Don't you have a girl you like? Or a first love?"

"W-well I did have a first love, but . . ." Italy started, his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

"You did?" Germany sighed, smiling a bit. "That's a relief"

"It . . . it was another—" Italy's cheeks puffed up, and then burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard he was in tears.

"_Cut_!"

The lights turned on, and Ludwig Beilschmidt sighed in annoyance. His overly optimistic co-star, Feliciano Vargas, was still practically rolling on the floor laughing.

Angel Thompson, their director, put her hands on her hips and scowled at them. "I thought you said you could handle a potentially gay character, Feli!"

"I—I can handle gay," Feli laughed, his Brooklyn accent beginning to show in his voice. "This—this is _too gay_"

"Shut up!" Angel snapped, sighing and crossing her arms. "Let's take a break; I'm going to get Starbucks."

Ludwig sighed, shaking the gel out of his hair. Acting was a great thing, and he loved to do it. It was his co-stars that got on his nerves.

Feliciano Vargas, while a great actor, had a hard time taking anything seriously. Out of everyone on set, he had the biggest blooper reel. The only reason they kept him working was because he was such a great actor, and he fit the role of Italy perfectly. And he loved the spotlight. He and his brother, Lovino Vargas, often got into fights on who deserved more screen-time (fights that more often than not ended in "I'm the star here!" and "shut up!")

Kiku Honda, the boy who got the role of Japan, was a whole new matter. He was a bit easier to put up with, but he was so sarcastic it killed him. Kiku's attitude was nothing short of pure evil, and he was extremely popular on the internet. When he found out that Ludwig and Feliciano's characters might share a kiss in the upcoming season, you could hear him cackling as he updated his Tumblr page with new bit of interesting information.

"I'm glad they left me out of this episode," Kiku said, putting on his jacket and fixing his hair. "Just _watching_ it made my ass hurt"

"Nothing happened, Kiku," Ludwig muttered, pulling his jacket on.

"That's what you say," Kiku rolled his eyes. "I want coffee. You gays wanna come?"

"Stop replacing 'guys' with 'gays,'" Ludwig grunted in annoyance. "It's annoying"

"So's Feli, but you don't see me telling him to stop breathing," Kiku said.

"Ya tell me to stop breathing all the time," Feli said, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, yeah," Kiku shrugged, exiting the set with Ludwig and Feliciano following him. They didn't make it four steps before being bombarded with camera flashes and the sound of everyone talking at once.

"Ludwig—Ludwig—what do you have to say on the rumors about your upcoming kiss with Feliciano?"

"Kiku, does Japan have a promised love interest in this season?"

"Feliciano, are the Chibitalia shorts going to continue in the sixth season?"

"Feliciano, where can we buy those Chibitalia dresses?"

"Ludwig, is it true you have a girlfriend back home?"

"Look, all we can tell you about season six is the same thing my director, the lovely Angel Thompson, told me," Kiku cleared his throat, put a hand on his hip, and slapped the most annoyed, angry look that he could muster on his face. "Goddammit, Kiku, just shut up and enjoy it!"

That comment was enough to make the paparazzi laugh long enough for them to make the quickest dash into the nearest Starbucks, slamming the door behind them and breathing heavily. Kiku sighed, tying his jacket around his waist. "I'm getting an iced coffee. You gays want anything?"

"Stop it," Ludwig snapped through gritted teeth. "I'll have a black coffee"

"How about you?" Kiku turned to Feliciano, who was surprisingly silent ever since their run from the paparazzi. That was weird for him. Feliciano loved the spotlight. He loved answering questions and taking pictures and signing autographs. He saw being stalked by the paparazzi as an honor rather than a nuisance. He was usually happy and hyper after encountering them, not this dazed and silent.

"What—oh, I'll have whatever you're having, I guess," Feliciano muttered.

"Are you ok?" Kiku asked, grabbing a hold of his cheek and pinching them, laughing as he did so. "Does the homo want a _cookie_—?"

"I'm _fine_, Kiku!" Feliciano snapped, slapping his hand off of his face. Kiku took a step back, exchanging an exchanged glance. Usually, seeing a New Yorker in a bad mood wasn't exactly anything new. But Feliciano was usually a happy, optimistic boy with an attitude straight off of a toddler's show. Kiku often joked around and called him things like 'Elmo' or 'Care Bear.' Ludwig couldn't even remember the last time he saw Feli in a bad mood.

"Well, ok, Grumpy Bear," Kiku rolled his eyes, and then turned to Ludwig. "Can you find us a seat?"

Ludwig nodded, looking around for a bit before sitting them down at a nearby table. He expected Feli to start blabbering on about something that wasn't important, but Feli remained unnaturally silent. Ludwig took out his phone, but before he could start a new round of Minion Rush, Feli slapped the phone of his hands and grabbed him by the collar, dragging him over the table.

"You don't really have a girlfriend, do you?" Feli snapped; his face much too close to Ludwig's for comfort.

"What? What does it matter—?" Ludwig started.

"_Goddammit, Ludwig, tell me_!" Feli shrieked.

Considering how genuinely upset he seemed to be about the subject, Ludwig decided to tell him the truth. "No, I don't"

"That's a relief," Feli started, just as they were both blinded by a camera flash. Kiku smirked, putting his phone up and sitting next to them.

"_That's _going on my Tumblr page," Kiku grinned, handing each of his horrified friends their coffee.

"You . . . you're not _really_ going to p-put that on the internet . . ." Feli offered a nervous smile. "Right?"

"Hell yeah I am," Kiku smirked, and then sighed when he saw the looks on their faces. "You can't expect me not to, you gays, that picture's gonna get me so many followers. I mean, think about it. I've already seen enough of the _Hetalia_ fandom to know that some of them believe more in 'GerIta' than they do in Jesus."

"Don't!" Feli exclaimed, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him back and forth. "If you do—I'll—I'll—I'll _die_!"

"Ok, ok!" Kiku exclaimed, pushing him off of him. "It's not going on the internet, I promise!"

"Thank you," Feli sighed, sitting back in his chair and taking a seat of coffee as if nothing happened. He then made a face, and then spat it out. "_Ew_! Where's the sugar?"

"I like it with milk," Kiku raised an eyebrow. "Without any sugar"

"But _I_ like sugar! Why didn't you get me any?" Feli whined.

"You asked me to get you the same thing I got!" Kiku exclaimed in self-defense, and then leaned back in his chair, shaking his head. "_Actors_"

* * *

Ludwig didn't think that he needed so much make-up, having given the part of a tough guy. But that wasn't an escape from hours of primping. After way too many layers of foundation, a little bit of eyeliner, and enough hair gel to cause someone to lose their sense of smell, he was ready.

Once he looked at himself in the mirror to make sure there wasn't a single flaw on his face (Angel would have a fit if there was,) when he heard a knock at the door. He looked around, and then shrugged before answering. "Come in"

"Hey, Luddy," Kiku said, entering the room dressed in his complete 'Japan' outfit. His hair was the most complex part of his attire (right after all of the medals on his uniform) as it needed to be combed and styled to exactly how it looked in the manga. That wouldn't be a problem if Kiku's hair wasn't so messy in the first place. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Ludwig shrugged, as Kiku sat down. "What about?"

". . . Feli," Kiku said. "I'm a kinda worried about yours and his . . . relationship"

"What do you mean by that?" Ludwig leaned a bit closer to the mirror. Did his character have to be so damn pale? There wasn't enough foundation in the world for him to be able to fit the correct manga-to-real-life-transformation.

"Don't you think he's been a bit clingy? And he really jumped on the chance for him to get to kiss you," Kiku said, playing a bit with the shoulder-pad-thingies on his costume.

"He jumped at the chance for _Italy_ to kiss _Germany_, not for him to kiss me," Ludwig reminded him with a narrow of his eyes. "And maybe he wouldn't've if you'd shut up about the 'GerIta' thing. If you feel awkward or something, it's your own fault—"

"_I'm_ not the one who should feel awkward," Kiku narrowed his eyes. "He's done nothing but get all up in your face for the last few days. Since you've been blinded by all that foundation, I'll make it clear. Kissing you might be the tipping point for him. What if he falls in love with you?"

Ludwig turned towards his friend, surprised by his choice of words. "Don't say that. If he develops a crush on me, it's one thing, but don't go throwing around the words 'fall in love' like that"

"We've been working on set together for six seasons, I think that crush came up a while ago," Kiku folded his arms. "I'm not throwing the words around. I used them on purpose"

Ludwig wasn't sure how to respond to that. Kiku surely couldn't be right, not alongside all the gay jokes he made. Kiku couldn't _possibly_ be that inconsiderate . . . then again, this was Kiku he was talking about. His way of coping with his friends' sexuality could be making so many jokes on the subject that it laughed the gay right out of them. Or maybe he was just pulling his leg.

"What do you expect me to do about it?" Ludwig asked.

"Just . . . let him down easy," Kiku said, getting up and giving him a light pat on the back. "Just so you don't screw up your friendship. You know, wouldn't want things to change around here"

That was it. Kiku _expected_ him to turn down Feli's feelings. In a way, it annoyed Ludwig, as he hadn't bothered to ask him how he felt. He didn't ask him if he liked Feli or not . . . which was actually good, considering Ludwig didn't know how to answer that question. But the fact that he'd simply assumed that he was to turn him down was a bit annoying.

But, then again, Ludwig could understand where he was coming from. Kiku's only real friends on set were him and Feli, along with Alfred and Arthur, but they had other friends. Even though Kiku was usually a loud and sarcastic persona, he was painfully shy to strangers. When Feli started forcing him to hang out with him and Ludwig, Kiku would just nod and stay silent for the most part (and then you'd repeat his name six times before tugging his earphones out.) But once you'd got him out of his shell, half the time you'd want to force him back in with fire and a crowbar.

Would their friendship change if two of them got together, though? Maybe Kiku thought so. That they'd hold hands and laugh at their inside jokes and leave poor little Kiku out of it, even when they were both familiar on how hard it was for him to make friends. Even if they did get together, Ludwig doubted that would happen. But once Kiku got his mind set on something, there was no convincing him otherwise.

* * *

"And cut!"

Angel waved her hand, allowing them to leave the set. Ludwig especially loved scenes where they were allowed to wear normal clothes—as cool as his war outfit was, it could get stiff and uncomfortable at times. Not to mention those gloves made him feel like a sadist (Angel had forced him to read _Fifty Shades of Gray_ before taking Germany's part. He was never going to look at that whip his character carried around the same way again.)

The episode had been about horror movies around the world, and Angel said she wanted the short to be titled 'Hetalia of the Dead,' the title the manga artist had given it, but it wasn't final. Ludwig was allowed a normal shirt and jeans, but he was especially jealous of Francis, who was given a snuggie with the word 'Paris' across it (he wasn't, however, jealous of the color choice or the wording.)

"That's it for today," Angel sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Lock up when you're done, I'll see you all tomorrow"

"I swear, she mistreats us," Arthur muttered, wiping his 'eyebrows' off. He'd tried so many times to reduce England's eyebrows, all with no prevail. The fans, writers, directors, and artist had spoken: the eyebrows were staying.

"'Lock up after you're done,' Jesus, what a priss," Alfred scoffed, taking his glasses off and turning to Yao. "Need help?"

"I'm good," Yao said, having a bit of trouble with his wig. Playing long-haired characters, according to Francis and Yao, were the _worst_, as you end up having to care for hair that isn't even yours. Neither of them had it as bad as any of the characters with curls, though. Feli's curl, for example, took about an hour to create and another hour to make it look natural.

"I'm gone," Ivan announced with a smirk, and he always was, because he looked so startlingly like his character that all he needed to look just like him was a scarf and purple contact lenses. Given that, he was the first ready and the first to leave. That way he didn't have to come back early to get ready, he could just 'hang out' all he wanted until it was time to film.

Kiku whistled. "Mochi, here boy!" his Shiba Inu, the one they used to play the role of 'Pochi,' barked and ran over, jumping in his arm. Kiku laughed, scratching the dog on the head before turning back to his co-stars. "I'm going home. Will you be long?"

"Nah," Ludwig shrugged. "I just left something in my trailer. You and Feli go on"

Kiku shrugged, attaching a leach to Mochi's collar. "I'll meet you guys later, I guess. We can get dinner or something"

"Yeah," Ludwig said, walking out towards his trailers. Since they were aligned in alphabetical order, while Ludwig 'Beilschmidt,' Natalya 'Arvolskaya,' and Ivan 'Braginski' were up near the front, poor unfortunate souls like Wan 'Yao', Matthew 'Williams,' and Feliciano 'Vargas' were in the way back.

Ludwig's trailer wasn't anything special, but he couldn't really talk, since it was his own personal on-set trailer. The inside consisted closet full of clothes, a bed, a bathroom, a microwave, a mini-fridge, a working radio, a TV, and a heating and AC system.

Ludwig took a quick shower, washing the gel out of hair and rinsing all that foundation off of his face. He changed into a more comfortable set of clothes—meaning a t-shirt and a pair of jeans that fit him (anything Angel made him wear was uncomfortably tight, a technique she'd call 'fan-service' before telling him he was doing another shirtless calendar this year.)

There was a knock, and Ludwig turned. "Come in"

Feli entered awkwardly, waving and saying 'hi' way too many times. Ludwig nodded in his direction, offering him a soda, in which Feli declined before sitting down. "I . . . I just wanted to talk to you about the kiss in the season finale—"

"It's ok, I understand," Ludwig offered him a smile. "If you feel awkward about it, we don't have to do it. I'm sure Angel won't mind it as long I do another underwear photo-shoot—"

"That's not what I mean," Feli's voice was low. "I was going to ask you if _you_ felt uncomfortable about the kiss scene"

Ludwig paused. "Oh. I'm not," he thought for a moment, about what Kiku said, and then turned back to Feli. "Why're you so nervous about all of this?"

"Well . . ." Feli let out a sigh. "I've been trying to get Angel to allow this scene since season one"

His honesty surprised Ludwig, causing him to get red in the face and spluttering a bit. "Why . . . and why's that?"

"Because . . . I like you?" Feli suggested, and then gave a bit of nervous laughter. "Yeah, I know, it's weird, especially with all of Kiku's . . . you know . . . _gay _jokes," he spoke the word 'gay' as if it were an extremely insulting curse word. "But . . . I just . . . _ugh_! This is stupid. That stupid magazine said I should just tell you, and the poll in it said we were soul mates—!"

Before he could say anything else that didn't make sense, Ludwig leaned forward, grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him, straight on the mouth. Feli tensed up for the first couple of seconds, but eventually gave into it (and it didn't take long for him to do so). It wasn't exactly a _long_ kiss, per say, but it wasn't short either. Just long enough for one to know it happened, and for another to be unable to deny that it did. Ludwig broke away first, with Feli staring at him as if he were half-dreaming, half-awake. "That stupid magazine was right"

Rather than answering, Feli leapt forward, practically attacking him with his lips. He tore at his clothes, until Ludwig's shirt was literally ripped in half and lying on the floor. Feli forced his tongue into his mouth, running his hands through his hair and sighing into his lips.

"What's up—_oh, MY GOD_!" Kiku exclaimed, opening the door and then jumping back as if he'd seen a group of vultures picking away a human body rather than two people kissing. Feli and Ludwig jumped apart, fixing their clothes and staring at him.

"What the _hell_?" Kiku snapped.

"It was just a kiss," Feli muttered.

"Oh, sure, his shirts in two pieces and you were _just kissing_?" Kiku snapped, his entire body shaking. That poor boy was traumatized. "There is something _wrong_ with you two!"

"You were the one who told me that—!" Ludwig started.

"I told you to _let him down easy_ not to gnaw his face off!" Kiku snapped.

"You were going to turn me down?" Feli whimpered.

"No—he told me that without even asking me what I felt!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"Well _excuse me _for assuming the big muscular guy who yells a lot was straight!" Kiku snapped. "I was giving you a nice piece of advice, you should be grateful!"

"Please don't tell!" Feli exclaimed. "You didn't get a picture, did you? Don't put it on the internet!"

"I won't," Kiku sighed, shaking his head. "Just don't ever, _ever _do that again!"

* * *

"_LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT!_"

Ludwig turned, seeing Angel stomp up to him, holding his torn costume in her hands. "What happened to your jacket?! This was made in _Italy_; you better have a good excuse!"

"It got caught in the door and it ripped when I tried to get it out," Ludwig shrugged. He could've told her the truth, but since the truth was 'I was making out with Feli and he ripped it off my body,' he decided against it. "Sorry"

"You better be sorry!" Angel snapped. "And you didn't even bother to _tell_ me?"

"I was scared you'd yell at me," Ludwig admitted through gritted teeth. "So I left in the first place I knew you'd see"

"The guy behind the counter at Starbucks handed it to me," Angel narrowed her eyes.

"Exactly"

Angel sighed, shaking her head. "SMH, Ludwig. Just get another one from the back room"

It had been night since the 'incident' and nothing had blown up over the internet. No pictures in tabloids (well, nothing out of the ordinary atrocity), nothing on Tumblr, nothing on Facebook, and nobody had been shouting "LudFeli is _cannon_!" with actual evidence. Ludwig couldn't help but smile; Kiku had kept his word.

"Hey," Ludwig smiled, grabbing his friend by the shoulder. "Thanks"

"No problem," Kiku returned the smile. "You're my friends"

Kiku trusted them; that was now a fact. No matter what happened, who dated who or how many seasons of _Hetalia_ actually aired on TV, Kiku was their friend. And that wasn't going to change, no matter what. And that made sense. They were close; something as petty as a new relationship wasn't going to change that.

"Besides, I didn't get a picture"

* * *

_**Ok, a couple of things I needed t**__**o ask you guys.**_

_**IF I were to make a Little Mermaid AU chapter with Italy as the star, should Italy be gender-bent or a boy?**_

_**IF I did a Pokémon AU, who would have what Pokémon?**_

_**IF I did a Fairy Tail AU, who would be what?**_

_**In conclusion, WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?**_

_**RING DING DING DING RINGDEDINGDEDING**_

_**WA PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-POW**_

_**HATTE HATTE HATTE HO**_

_**TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TECHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF**_

_**Best. Song. Ever. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja**_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	8. A Hetalia Fairy Tale 2:the little merman

_**Guys, thank you so much for all of the suggestions! I was really lost about a lot of that stuff. **_

_**Onto the story. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter 8 ~ * ~ *  
- A Hetalia Fairy Tail 2: the Little Merman –**_

Papa's number one rule: don't go up to the surface.

Papa's number two rule: don't trust sirens.

Feli managed to break both rules at least once every day, twice if he found more treasures. His head broke out of the water, turning to see that Alfred was at his rock. He always was at this time of the day, and he was always singing.

Sirens, like merpeople, had the appearance of being human until you got a closer look. Often mistaken for birds, which they turned into when near humans or when frightened, sirens were spirits of the water who were often stepped on and ignored by Feli's father. On most occasions, they sat on rocks way out in the middle of the ocean, singing no particular song to anyone, with the appearance of an angel.

Feli didn't know much about angels, but he didn't think they'd look like Alfred. Angels were supposed to be beautiful. Though Alfred shared the wings that angels were often portrayed of having, he wasn't beautiful. To Feli, he looked like anyone else. He had blonde hair, blue eyes behind a pair of broken spectacles he'd found on the beach, and a permanent happy grin etched on his face.

While Feli didn't envy the sirens, as they were considered 'lower classmen' in comparison to those who actually got to live in the sea, Feli envied Alfred. He got to get close enough to the humans to hear what they were saying, to watch what they did, and to know how they acted. Feli would trade his right arm for that kind of opportunity.

"Alfred!" Feli exclaimed, waving his hand around in the air. The siren turned, smiling at him.

"Hey there, gorgeous," Alfred smirked, stepping down to a lower elevated place on the rock. Feli laughed at the joke, while Kiku wondered if Feli even heard him right. Alfred looked at Feli's bag, which he was still clutching tightly in his right hand. "What'cha got there?"

"Look what we found," Feli exclaimed happily, taking the items out of the bag. Alfred picked up the piece of metal first, studying it for a moment before proclaiming that it was a 'dinglehopper.'

"What does it do?" Kiku asked. Interested in humans or not, it was always interesting to hear Alfred's explanations.

"Humans use it to comb their hair," Alfred handed the dinglehopper back to Feli, who put it back in his bag and pointed to the second item. It was black in color, thin on one end and large and circular in the other. Alfred's eyes got wide, picking it up and handling it with care. "I haven't seen anything like this in years, this is wonderful. This is a banded, bulbous _Snarfblatt_"

The two mermen gasped in awe, Feli using his arms to pull himself up a bit on the rock. "What does a Snarfblatt do?"

"It dates back to prehistorically times," Alfred said, giving his seagull wings a bit of a proud flap. "Back when the humans would just sit around and stare at each other. Yeah, it got very boring. So, they invented the Snarfblatt to make fine music—"

When Alfred had said the word 'music' a rush of words came to Feli. Most of those words being: music, concert, papa, Roderich, trouble, today, singing, I'm, so, dead, right, and now.

"The concert!" Feli exclaimed; grabbing everything and stuffing them back in his bag. "Oh, damn, papa's gonna kill me!"

"That was today?" Kiku muttered. The last he remembered, the concert was at ten o'clock tomorrow.

"I forgot all about it," Feli bit his lower lip, turning around. "I've gotta go—thank you, Alfred!"

"Any time, kid," Alfred shouted in response. Once the two were gone, he positioned himself on his rock, and began singing as if nothing had happened.

* * *

"Do you think I was too hard on him?"

Number one rule of working for anyone who could blast you to pieces in a couple of seconds was to always agree with whatever they said. Putting that rule into action, Roderich shook his head. "Kids need discipline."

"Really?" King Roman turned towards his advisor. In comparison to the king, Roderich was small and frail. Then again, most people were. Not many old men were the size of mountains and about twice as strong. "You think so?"

"You're damn right I think so!" Roderich straightened his posture. "Why, if Feli was _my_ son, I'd teach him a lesson worth learning! There'd be no _swimming up to the surface_ with _me_ around!"

"You're absolutely right," the king beamed.

"I am!" Roderich smirked.

"He needs discipline,"

"He does"

"A watcher"

"A good one"

"And I know the perfect person to make sure he stays out of trouble"

"I bet you do,"

"It's you"

"It's me—wait—what?" Roderich turned to the king, his eyes wide. The king simply smiled, pushing him towards the door and reassuring him that he could do the job best. Roderich couldn't argue, but if he could've he would've.

Roderich grunted in annoyance, swimming out to the courtyard and looking out for that auburn hair of Feli's, or maybe that Japanese merman he hung out with. This was ridiculous. He was an _artist_. He should be writing award-winning symphonies right now, not babysitting surface-world-nuts like Feli.

He was prepared to turn around and just say he'd seen Feli do nothing, when he saw two boys swim down the courtyard. Roderich raised an eyebrow; Feli and his friend weren't going in the direction of Feli's room . . . Or in the direction of the library, of the playroom, of the kitchen, of anywhere familiar. They swam off the edges of the castle ground, looking around to see if anyone was following them.

Roderich raised an eyebrow, swimming down as quietly has he could. _Where are you going . . .?_

They swam about fifteen or so minutes from the castle before stopping. Feli looked around to see if they were alone, and when he thought they were, he pushed the boulder back to make a big enough space for Kiku to swim in. He looked around, and then swam after him, letting the rock go. Roderich had to make a quick dash to make it in before getting crushed.

He let out a quiet sigh of relief when he'd gotten in safely, and then let out a gasp of amazement. The cavern was covered in all sorts of horrible, amazing thing's he'd never seen before. Splashes of color, twinkling lights, pieces of metal, they were everywhere. And everything was a _human_ artifact.

"Feli, are you ok?" Kiku asked, patting his friend on the shoulder. Feli was holding a piece of weird-looking metal in his hands, holding it between his fingers as if it were delicate.

"Maybe he's right," Feli sighed. "Maybe there is something the matter with me. I just don't see how a world who makes such wonderful things . . . could be bad . . ." Feli sat up, smiling as he looked around. "Look at this stuff, isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collections complete? Wouldn't you think I'm the boy, the boy who has . . . everything?"

He swam upwards, playing with all of the things around him. "Look at this trove, treasures untold, how many wonders can one cavern hold? Looking around here you think, sure, 'he's got everything.' I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty. I've got who-zits and what-zits galore. You want thing-a-ma-bobs? I've got twenty," he grabbed a box, opening it to show Kiku that he did indeed have twenty of the said item. "But who cares? No big deal. I want more . . ." he sighed, putting the box down. "I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see them dancing"

Feli laughed, spinning around in a circle. "Walking around on those . . . what do you call 'em?" Kiku pointed to his tail, and Feli giggled. "Oh, feet"

Feli sighed. "What would I give, if I could live out of these waters? What would I pay, to spend a day warm on the sand? Bet'cha on land, they understand. Bet they don't . . . reprehend their sons. Bright young men, sick of swimming, ready to stand!"

He grabbed what Roderich took to be a collection of white squares with scribbles on them covered by a darker square with less (but bigger) scribbles on it, flipping through it. "I'm ready to know what the people know. Ask 'em my questions and get some answers! What's a fire, and why does it—what's the word?—burn? When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love? Love to explore that shore up above . . . out of the sea . . . wish I could be . . . part of that . . . world"

By that time, Roderich had had enough. He swam down, but hit his face on something and ended up falling backwards and landing on his ass, breaking a few things in the process. Feli let out a cry of surprise. "Roderich?"

"What is all of this?" Roderich asked through gritted teeth.

"It's—um—it's just my—uh—collection," Feli smiled.

Roderich gave a bit of mock laughter. "Oh, I see. You're _collection _. . . IF YOUR FATHER FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS HE'D BE—"

"You're not gonna tell him, are you?" Kiku asked; his eyes wide in fear of his friend's safety.

"Oh, please, Roddy, he'd never understand," Feli begged.

Roderich chucked, grabbing Feli's hand and pulling him towards the exit. "You're just confused. Now, let's go home and take a nice long nap—"

"What's that?" Feli whispered, as a shadow went over the moon. He swam out of the exit, with Kiku and Roderich in pursuit, Roderich yelling something about his father and going home and other things Feli didn't really care about right now.

His head broke out of the water, seeing a ship float on by. Just the amazingness of it all made him giggle, swimming towards it to get a better look. Kiku lingered behind, as he wasn't curious, and as did Roderich (though he kept yelling for Feli to get back before he hurt himself.)

Feli grabbed onto the ship's side ladder, using his upper body strength to pull himself onto the top of the ship. The sight made him smile; people dancing, singing, laughing and playing all sorts of strange instruments. _Sailors _were what papa called them—and papa never had anything good to call them.

Feli looked to his right, and saw people dancing and laughing. Feli looked to his left, and was face-to-face with the strangest creature he'd ever seen. Covered in tan and black fur, it panted though it didn't seem tired, and licked Feli in the face. Though it was a disgusting feeling, it wasn't awful. More playful than anything; and it made him feel surprisingly nice.

"Berlitz; here boy!" the creature barked, running towards a human. As previously mentioned, Feli didn't know much about angels. But if anyone was an angel, it was him. He was the most perfect human—the most perfect _anything_—Feli had ever seen.

He petted the creature behind the ears, smiling as he did so. He had everything that would define 'perfect': perfectly slicked-back blonde hair, blue eyes that shone, a muscular frame, and sharp cheekbones. The Perfect One hadn't noticed Feli, but Feli couldn't stop staring at him.

"Hey!" a seagull flew down from above transforming in mid-land onto the ladder next to Feli. "What'cha doin' Fel-Fel?"

"Alfred, shh! They'll hear you!" Feli hissed turning his attention back to the Perfect One. He was playing some sort of instrument now, the dog barking along to the tune.

Feli sighed. "He sure is handsome, isn't he?"

Alfred made a face. "He seems kinda furry and slobbery to me"

Feli giggled and shook his head. "Not that one! The one playing the Snarfblatt . . ."

"Settle down, settle down," another human clapped his hands. The music and chatter stopped. This human was obviously older than the Perfect One, and his blonde hair much longer, his blue eyes much sharper, and he had a rather ugly scar staring at his neck. "For my grandson, Ludwig," the humans responded with the respectful for amount of applause. "I give your birthday present"

"What're you playing at?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow. A strange-looking human next to him, one with no skin color, white hair, and bright red eyes shook his head at the older human.

"Grandpa, don't—!" the white-haired one exclaimed, before his grandfather drew back a sheet. Someone had gotten a piece of stone and carved it to look exactly like Ludwig, down to each facial feature. Feli wanted one.

"Wow, grandpa, it's—uh—it's nice," Ludwig said, biting his lower lip even though he clearly _did not_ think it was nice. Well, if he didn't want it, Feli figured he had every right to take it. But he didn't think it sociably acceptable for a merman to pull himself over it, take it, and then jump back into the ocean.

"It is," his grandfather looked proud, giving Ludwig a disappointed look. "I _was_ hoping for it to be a wedding present"

Feli dug his fingernails into the wood. _Wedding_? However, Ludwig swallowed, looking to the floor and walking to the edge of the boat. "Sorry"

The white-haired human sighed, walking towards him. Feli pressed his body to the side of the boat, hoping they wouldn't see him. The white-haired one patted him on the back. "It wasn't your fault"

"It kind of was," Ludwig muttered. "I should've made it work, Gil"

"She just wasn't the one for you," Gil said.

_Tell me about it_, Feli thought, smiling to himself. He liked this human; he made Ludwig feel better about himself.

"I know," Ludwig sighed, as if Gil's response wasn't enough to reassure him. "I just . . . they're out there, somewhere, I just know it. And when I found her—it'll hit me like . . . like _lightning_!"

Right thing to say, wrong time to say it.

Storm clouds rolled in, with flashes of lighting and rain falling in bucketful's. Feli fell of the ship, Alfred letting out a cry of surprise before turning back into a seagull and flying off. Kiku and Roderich had gone back underwater, where it was safe. Easy for them to do, Ludwig didn't have anywhere to go. Feli was much more worried about him than he should've been.

The ship was on fire by now; lightning had hit the giant floating piece of wood (surprise, surprise.) People were panicking; Ludwig had made sure the creature and Gil had gotten on the smaller boats before himself.

"Ludwig; grab my hand!" Gil shouted, reaching his hand out towards his—what was his relation to Ludwig? Brother; friend; cousin? Whoever he was, Ludwig made a reach for his hand before the floor fell apart from below him and he crashed into the water.

"_No_!" Feli shrieked, diving into the water, grabbing Ludwig by his arms and dragging him out of the water. Feli kept his grip on Ludwig, and looked around. When he didn't see the smaller boats, he swam inland.

* * *

"Is he dead?"

Alfred landed next to Feli, lifting up one of Ludwig's feet and pressing his ear to the center of his foot. Alfred listened for a moment, and then got a sad look on his face and shook his head. "I . . . I'm not gettin' a heartbeat . . ."

"No, no," Feli's face broke into a smile, watching the rise and fall of Ludwig's chest. "He's breathing. He's . . . so . . . _perfect_," he reached out a hand, caressing his face and singing softly. "What would I give to live where you are? What would I pay to stay here beside you? What would I do to see you smiling at me? Where would we walk, where would we run, if we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me, and I could be, part of your world"

"Prince Ludwig!" someone shouted, and there was the sound of barking. Startled, Feli leapt into the water just as Ludwig's eyes blinked open, looking around for any signs of life.

"_WEST_!" Gil shouted at the stop of his lungs, tackling him to the ground in a lung-crushing hug. "I WAS SO FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT YOU THANK GOD YOU'RE OK I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO WITHOUT MY LITTLE BROTHER OH MY GOD I LOVE YOOOOOUUUU"

"Gil, calm down, I'm fine" Ludwig said, as Gil and his grandfather helped him to his feet.

"How are you alive?" his grandfather asked, his face a mixture of awe and happiness.

"I . . . I don't know . . ." Ludwig breathed, wiping seawater out of his eyes. "There . . . there was a boy . . . he was singing . . ."

"You're hallucinating," his grandfather patted him on the back. "You need some sleep and a bath. Come on, Berlitz has missed you so much he's sick"

By now, Ludwig's brother was still clinging on to him. "Yeah, Mattie's making pancakes," he got a dreamy look to his eyes. "Mattie can do _anything_"

Feli smiled, watching them help him home. When he turned, however, he saw that Roderich was enraged while Kiku was horrified. They must have been washed ashore by the storm. Roderich inhaled, exhaled, and then messaged his temples. "Ok, _ok_, this never happened. _You_ won't tell the king," he turned, and Kiku shook his head. "_I_ won't tell the king. _Feli_ won't tell the king. The king doesn't talk to sirens. As far as anyone is concerned, this never happened"

Not to Feli; as far as he was concerned, this had happened. And it was destiny.

_I don't know when. _

_I don't know how. _

_But I know something's starting right now. _

_Watch and you'll see, _

_Someday I'll be, _

_Part of your world._

* * *

"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not," Feli looked at the last petal with awe, as if he'd expected it to end differently. He tore off the flower petal, squealing and hugging the petal to his chest. "_He loves me; I knew it_!"

"Feli; get your head out of the clouds," Roderich snapped through gritted teeth.

"I've gotta see him again . . . tonight!" Feli swam around a bit in thought. "Alfred knows where he lives!"

"Feliciano, stop it—!" Roderich snapped.

"I'll go up to his castle,"

"Down here is your home!"

"And Kiku can splash around a bit to get his attention—!"

"_Feliciano_!" Roderich snapped, grabbing him by the shoulders. "The human world is a mess; life under the sea is where you belong! So stop going on and on about the human world!"

"But, Roddy—!" Feli started.

"The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake," Roderich crossed his arms, repeating the little cliché that Feli had heard since he was little. "You dream about going up there, but that is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you, right here on the ocean floor!"

"I'm _sick_ of the world around me!" Feli exclaimed. "I wanna go up there where it's pretty and . . . and _he's _there! I don't want anything else"

Roderich sighed. "When are you going to grow up and realize that some wishes are never going to come true?"

Feli didn't answer, because Kiku had tapped him on the shoulder and whispered that he'd found something. While Roderich kept ranting on about this and that, the two boys swam off.

"What'd you find?" Feli asked.

"You'll see—you're going to love it," Kiku said, swimming into Feli's 'Treasure Trove.' Kiku covered Feli's eyes, counted down from ten, and then lifted them. "Ta-da!"

Feli's eyes widened, and his mouth quickly turned into a smile. That piece of stone, the one carved to look like Ludwig, was sitting in the middle of the trove. Feli laughed in happiness, swimming up to the statue and hugging it around the neck. "Kiku, oh my God, thank you_, _thank you, _thank you_! Oh, it looks just like him!" Feli giggled, using two fingers as to make it look like they were walking up his chest. "Oh, _Ludwig_; what's that? Run away with you?" he rested his head in the crook of the statue's neck, giggling with glee. "Oh, this is all so . . . so _sudden_"

"Isn't it neat? I found it in the—!" Kiku stopped in midsentence, his eyes widening as the king entered the trove. His fists clenched, his eyes blazing with anger. Feli let out a noise of surprise, his first instinct being to try and hide the statue with his body.

"Daddy, hi—!"

"Is it true?" King Roman spoke through gritted teeth, his grip on his trident tightening. "Did you save a human from drowning?"

For a moment, Feli simply stood there, gaping like a fish out of water. "I—I just—he would've _died_—!"

"That'd be one less human to worry about!" King Roman snapped. "Just thinking of _my _son saving one of those filthy, trespassing fish-eaters makes me sick—!"

"_Daddy, I love him_!" Feli snapped, and then darted behind the statue and hid. Kiku's jaw dropped, Roderich covered his mouth in shock. It was only then that Feli noticed that he was there—_Roderich_ told his father about him saving Ludwig's life. Traitor.

"That's preposterous!" King Roman shouted. "He's a human, you're a merman!"

"I don't care," Feli huffed, gripping onto the statue's shoulders.

"You don't even _know_ him!" the king growled.

"But daddy, I _want_ to," Feli pouted.

"You don't even know what you're talking about anymore!" the king snapped, his trident glowing with power. "Feli, if this is the only way for me to get through to you, then so be it!"

A blast of light came from the trident, causing one of the vases to shatter. When Feli realized what his father was doing, his eyes lit up with fear, rushing over and grabbing onto his arm, shouting at the top of his lungs. "Papa, _stop_!" Kiku dashed to the entrance of the cave, where Roderich stared, horrified. He didn't know what he expected but, he definitely didn't want it to end like this.

"Papa, _no_!" Feli screeched, and in a final blast of energy, the statue exploded into a million stone fragments, ending its short-lived life with Feli in a number of seconds.

Feli tried to put everything back together, a desperate attempt to save many years' worth of collecting, of scavenging, of swimming from sharks and darting out of sunken ships at top speed. Years' worth of dreams, of hopes, of curiosity, and a wish that he knew in his heart was never going to come true. The hopelessness hit him like a blast of light from his father's trident, and he began to sob.

With a look of possible regret, the king swam out. Roderich swam over to Feli, reaching out as to pat him on the shoulder. "Feliciano, I'm so sorry—"

"Leave me alone," Feli whispered. Roderich was about to object, before Kiku grabbed him by the shoulder, shaking his head and exiting the trove.

"_Poor child_,"

Feli looked up, a couple of mermaids peering in. One of them had long, white-blonde hair, flowing out around her head like a halo. The other had shorter hair, no longer than Feli's, but let's just say that he had _other_ way of knowing she was female. But both mermaids had a matching bright yellow eye on one side of their faces. For the one with longer hair, it was her right eye, and for the shorter-haired one, it was her left.

"_He only wants to be with his love_," the shorter-haired one had tears coming from one eye, the one that had a pupil. The other eye scared Feli; it was just a bright, glowing yellow socket. "_Isn't it sad, Natalya_?"

"_So sad_," the two swam down, doing a weird dance-like thing, swimming ribbons around each other. "_If only there was something we could do for him, Yekaterina_"

"_Oh, but there is_," Yekaterina cooed, sitting down next to Feli. "_We know how to get him legs_"

"You . . . you can make me human?" Feli whispered, wiping tears from his eyes.

"_Ivan can do wonderful things_," Natalya smirked.

"The Sea Wizard . . .?" Feli breathed, and then quickly shook his head. "No, no, I don't want anything to do with him! Leave me alone!"

The two exchanged a glance, and then shrugged. Natalya kicked a piece of the statue, the piece that was only Ludwig's face. "_It was only a suggestion_"

Feli picked up the piece, kindling it between his hands lightly. Leaving the sea wasn't only because of his wanting for Ludwig's love, though that was a part of it. He hated it down here. Every day since he discovered the humans, he knew in his heart that he didn't belong here. He knew he'd leave at any chance he got. And now he was letting that chance swim away.

"Wait!"

* * *

Dark.

Cold.

Scary.

Those were the words that first came to Feli's mind as he followed the mermaids into Ivan's lair. The two pulled back the curtains, smiling at each other when he swam in. They made faces at Roderich and Kiku, who had followed him over. Even Kiku, who believed that none of this was Feli's fault, was completely against him going to the Sea Wizard for help.

"Come in, come in!" the Sea Wizard was a monster of a man, pale from isolation, with dark circles under his surprisingly innocent violet eyes. He put a rather muscular arm around his shoulders. "I don't bite. Now, a little birdie told me you want a pair of . . . whatchamacallits, _legs_, eh?"

"Can you really do that?" Feli asked; the awe showing through his voice.

"My dear," Ivan cooed, his voice in a mock pity. "It's what I do. It's what I _live _for! Helping you poor, unfortunate souls," he smirked. "I admit that in the past I've been a nasty; they weren't kidding when they called me, well, a wizard. But you'll find that now a days, I've mended all my ways, repented seen the light, and made a switch—to this. And I fortunately know a little magic; it's a talent that I always have possessed. And now really, please don't laugh, I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed," his cough suspiciously sounded like the word 'pathetic,' but Feli didn't notice. "You poor unfortunate souls; so sad, so true. You come flocking to me crying, saying 'spells, Ivan, please!' and do I help them? Yes I do"

Ivan swam over, putting an arm around Feli with enough force to choke him. "Now, here's the deal. I give you a spell that'll turn you human for three days. Got that? Three. You have three days to make princey-boy fall in love with you. This means he's got to kiss you; but not just any kiss: the kiss of true love. If he does, you'll remain a human _permanently_. If he doesn't, you turn back into a mermaid, and you belong to me"

"FELI, DON'T—!" Roderich shouted, but Yekaterina clasped her hands over his mouth and silenced him.

"If I become human . . ." Feli thought for a moment. "I'd never see papa or any of my brothers and sisters again"

"That's right," Ivan pursed his lips together, and smirked. "_But _you'd have your man. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Speaking of which, we haven't discussed the topic of payment"

"But I don't have any—!" Feli started.

"Shh, shh, shh; child, I don't want money," Ivan smiled. "What I want is your voice"

"My voice?"

"You got that right, sweetheart. No talking, no singing, zip"

"But if I can't talk, how can I—?"

Ivan's eyes widened, as if he didn't think Feli was smart enough to think of that question. He quickly turned, holding his arms out. "You've got your looks. You're pretty face. And let's not forget the importance of _body language_! The men don't really like a lotta blabber. They think someone who got's it is a bore! See it's really all preferred for lover's not to say a word. And after all dear, what is idle babble for? Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation. True gentlemen avoid it when they can! But they dote and swoon and fawn, on a lover who's withdrawn. It's he who holds his tongue who gets a man!"

Ivan grabbed a scroll nearby, practically shoving in Feli's face. "Come on you poor unfortunate soul. Go ahead, make your choice! I'm a very busy person and I haven't got all day, it won't cost much, just your voice! If you wanna cross a bridge my sweet, you've got to pay the toll. Take a gulp, take a breath; go ahead, sigh the scroll," he turned and whispered to the mermaids. "Natalya, Yekaterina, now I've got her, girls. The boss is on a roll! You poor unfortunate soul!"

Feli clenched his teeth, grabbed a quill, and signed his name.

* * *

Feli was glad he saved Ludwig from drowning, because he'd now learned that drowning was a horrible, horrible experience. The pressure hurt like hell, his lungs filled with water in a sensation that choked him from the inside out. Kiku and Roderich had rushed forward, swimming him up to the surface.

Feli gasped, swimming inwards and siting on the sand. He moved his hair out of his eyes, and then realized that he felt different. He held out his legs, and moved his toes. He giggled, but no sound came out of his mouth. Ivan had really taken his voice away.

"_Gorgeous_, hey!" Alfred flew down, landing on a rock. "What'cha doin' so far inland? I thought your dad didn't like you so close to the surface"

Feli would've answered if he could, but he instead smiled, shrugged, and wiggled his toes some more.

"'Ey . . . somethin's different about 'cha," Alfred bit his lower lip. "Did you get your hair cut?"

"_He's got legs, you idiot_!" Roderich snapped. "He traded his voice for legs with the sea wizard!"

"Oh, congratulations—!"

"_YOU MORON_!" Roderich snapped. "This isn't a matter of congratulations! He's got _legs_! This is crazy—it's unacceptable! We can go back, we'll make a deal with the wizard. We'll get your voice back. You can go home, where you'll . . . where you'll . . ." Roderich got a look at Feli, and even though he was voiceless, the look in his face alone said more than he ever could've said. ". . . Where you'll be miserable for the rest of your life . . ." Roderich sighed. "Fine, I'll help you"

"I will, too!" Kiku exclaimed with a smile. Feli smiled, and jumped forward and hugged them both.

"Alright-y, sweetie, if you wanna be a human you gotta dress like one!" Alfred grabbed a nearby sail, asking the other two to help him tear it. Ten minutes later, Feli had a pair of pants made from sails, and he loved the feel of them.

There was a barking sound, and Ludwig's creature ran up to him. Feli didn't know how to react; he climbed backwards onto a rock, with Roderich and Kiku ducking underwater while Alfred returned into his seagull form.

"Berlitz—!" Ludwig ran up, stopping when he saw Feli. Feli smiled, patting down his hair and, trying to make himself look nicer. "Oh. Hi"

Feli waved, and Ludwig walked up to him, repeatedly saying 'down' in an attempt to calm the creature. "I'm sorry about this, he's harmless, really"

Feli shrugged in response, and Ludwig squinted. "Do I know you?" Feli nodded, and Ludwig's face broke out into a smile. "I do know you! You're the one who saved me, I've been looking everywhere for you! What's your name?"

Feli tried to say his name, but he ended up mouthing it.

"What is it?" Ludwig asked, and Feli patted on his throat. "You can't speak?" Feli nodded. "Oh . . . you can't be the one I was looking for . . ."

Feli huffed, crossing his arms. How was he supposed to tell him if he couldn't speak? Right now, Ivan's _body language_ concept seemed pretty useless. He tried to act out what had happened, only to fall straight into Ludwig's arms (no complaints, there.)

"Wow, something terrible must've happened to you, you're scared half to death," Ludwig sighed, helping Feli to his feet. "You can stay at my place, we'll get you all cleaned up"

Feli smiled, and nodded, giving a thumbs-up to Roderich and Kiku. So maybe Ludwig wouldn't know him as the one who saved him, but was that really a bad thing? Maybe he could make Ludwig fall in love with him for _him_, not his savior. There had to be other ways of getting your personality across to people. After all, he could write well.

And Ludwig _did_ love Feli; he just didn't know it yet.

* * *

_**A memorable thing said by my nanny when I read to her the section about the conversation between Ludwig and his grandfather (who, by the way, was Germania):**_

_**Germania: I **_was_** hoping for it to be a wedding present**_

_**My nanny: but I'm gay**_

_**Me: *dies laughing***_

_**I offered to make him a girl, and you guys said 'no.' If this is too gay, you've got no one to blame but yourselves. **_

_**Ok, this was ridiculously long. And yes, the song outbursts were completely necessary. **_

_**If you like the mermaid concept, try 'Violet Eyes' by KuroRiya. It's SuFin, I myself read it every time it updates, and it's absolutely precious. **_

_**I'm afraid I do need a bit more help on the Pokémon thing. I mean, I played Pokémon White Version 2, and I've seen the new series, so I'm familiar with it. But what would even **_happen _**in a Pokémon AU?**_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!* **_


	9. PokéTalia

_**Requested by "Crazy YingYang writer7" and helped to make by all of you. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter 9 ~ * ~ ***_

_**~ * ~ * PokéTalia * ~ * ~ **_

Feliciano Vargas squinted from atop the tree, looking out over the forest. He'd been walking for at least two days, and he couldn't even see the tops of the buildings. It was probably another day or two's trip to reach the nearest city gym, if he was lucky and walked fast.

"What do you think?" Feli giggled towards the yellow creature currently perched on his shoulder, mimicking his movements. It squinted like he did, holding a paw over his eyes as if he were studying the view.

"_Pichu_," it said, proudly. Feli thought it was so cute how these creatures could only say their names and a few other sounds.

"I agree," Feli pretended to understand him and climbed down, landing on his feet. The Pichu jumped down from his shoulder, walking down beside him. Pichu was a curiously independent creature, who didn't often ride on his shoulders (he did, but mainly only when he was frightened.)

Feli kind of skipped, kind of ran down the forest, but then he got tired and just walked. Somewhere down that road he stopped completely and fell on the ground. Pichu squeaked in dismay, tugging onto his hair as if the tiny thing thought it could pull Feliciano all the way to the gym.

"Pichu . . . stop that . . . I'm tired . . ." Feli groaned. That didn't stop the yellow Pokémon from trying to drag him along. Suddenly, Pichu let out a squeal of fear, and then dashed behind him. Feli sat up a bit, wondering what was wrong, and was met face-to-face with what could be the very image of terror.

It kind of looked like a dog, if Satan himself owned one. A pair of horns sprouted from its head, a number of bones-like things framed its body, and its tail ended in a devilish fork. The devil-dog barked, and that was enough to scare the daylights out of him.

"_Go away_!" Feli shrieked, grabbing one of his pokéballs and throwing it at the dog. It hit it in the center of the eyes, and the dog shook off its surprise, and barked at him again.

"_Go away, go away, go away, GOAWAYYYYYYY_" Feli shouted, grabbing more of the balls from his back pocket and throwing them at the dog. It backed up, probably wondering why this guy was throwing pokéballs at him rather than trying to capture him.

"Hey!" there was a bit of rustling, and a boy jumped up from behind the bushes. He was around the same age as Feli, which is to say, around ten or eleven. He had blonde hair, and his eyes were a striking blue against his pale skin. He whistled. "Houndoom!"

The dog turned and ran back to its master, and the boy scratched it behind the ears. "That's my Pokémon you're attacking"

"It scared me!" Feli exclaimed.

Pichu made an appearance from behind Feli's shoulder, shaking a paw at the two of them. "_Pichu, Pichu_!"

"He didn't mean any harm," the boy put his arms around the Pokémon's neck and gave it a hug. "I'm sure he was only playing"

"Playing—yeah, right," Feli huffed, standing up and dusting himself off. He narrowed his eyes at the creature, who barked again; making him shiver. "What _is_ that thing?"

"Don't you have a Pokédex?" the boy raised an eyebrow.

"I do!" Or, more accurately, Feli _did_. He broke it. Not that that was anything unexpected, as he broke his last four Pokédexes while chucking them at threatening wild Pokémon and then running away at top speed. He kind of panicked and threw things at any Pokémon that scared him. It was a bit of a natural instinct he couldn't quite get over. The plan was to get a new one when he got to Pewter City. It'd gotten to a point where the employees at the PokéCenter already knew him as _that guy who keeps breaking shit_. "I just don't feel like bringing it out"

"You didn't _break_ it, did you?" the boy asked.

"Of—of course not!" Feli scoffed. "How—how can you—how do you even _break_ a Pokédex, anyway?"

The boy took his Pokédex out of his jacket pocket and offered it to him. Feli swallowed, snapping it open and allowing the device to scan the Pokémon. Once it was done, it portrayed its name and information.

_Houndoom, the Dark Pokémon. _

_The evolved form of Houndour. _

_Houndoom's eerie howl is said to cause those who hear it to shudder in fear._

Feli handed him back his Pokédex, and the boy narrowed his eyes. "What's your name?"

"Feliciano, Feliciano Vargas," Feli said. "You can call me 'Feli'"

"I'm Ludwig," he patted the Pokémon on the head. "You've met Houndoom"

Pichu made a noise, and Feli giggled. "This is Pichu"

Ludwig shrugged. "Nice meeting you, Feliciano"

"Feli—call me _Feli_,"

"Yeah, whatever"

Feli glanced at the Pokémon on his shoulder, and then ran after Ludwig. "Where're you going?"

"To find my partner," Ludwig didn't even look over his shoulder, and neither did his Pokémon. Feli found it funny that Pokémon often reflected their owner's personalities. "We're going to Pewter"

"Oh, me too!" Feli exclaimed.

"That's nice, Feliciano"

"_Feli_, my name is _Feli_. Not 'Feliciano,' that's stupid, my name is _Feli_"

"I don't do nicknames," was Ludwig's only response. When he realized that Feli wasn't leaving, he turned and scowled. "Can I _help_ you?"

He said the word 'help' as if it had the same definition as the word 'murder.' Feli shook his head, but continued to follow him. Ludwig stopped, and so did Feli. Ludwig put one foot forward, and so did Feli. Ludwig jumped, and Feli mimicked his movements. Ludwig put one arm forward, and Feli did the same.

Ludwig ran forward at top speed, his Houndoom running with him. He ran, and ran, and he kept running until he was convinced he'd outran the boy. He leaned against a tree, huffing and sighing in exhaustion. Still, he smiled at his solitude.

"Hey—why'd you run?"

Ludwig let out a cry of surprise, falling backwards and crashing into the floor. Feli smiled down at him, and then got a disappointed look on his face. "Why'd you run away? That was mean"

"I thought I left you behind!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"I'm a fast runner," Feli giggled. "Can I come with you to Pewter?"

"Of course not!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"Why can't he?"

Another boy showed up, and in all honesty he had to be around the same age as them, but he was only about half as tall as Ludwig. His hair was dead straight, jet-black, and his eyes held little to no emotion in them at all. There was a foxlike Pokémon beside him, and Feli snatched Ludwig's Pokédex from his jacket to check what it was.

_Ninetales, the Fox Pokémon. _

_The evolved form of Vulpix. _

_It has nine tails and a shining golden fleece. Ninetales are said to live very long lives._

"Kiku, Feliciano; Feliciano, Kiku," Ludwig gestured to each other in a quick introduction.

"_Feli_!" Feli exclaimed, and then smiled and offered his hand to Kiku. "My name is _Feli_"

"I don't see why he can't come to Pewter with us," Kiku turned to Ludwig. "Especially if he's all alone; it's dangerous out here"

"Not if you have Pokémon," Ludwig grunted, and then pointed to Feli's Pichu. "Doesn't that little guy protect you?"

"He does his best!" Feli exclaimed in defense of his little friend. "I mean—he just gets scared, that's all"

"A cowardly Pokémon," Ludwig grunted. "What use is he gonna be at the tournament? He's a waste of our time"

"You're being rude!" Kiku hissed, and then turned to Feli. "Are you going to Pewter for the tournament?"

Feli gulped. You needed eight gym badges to participate in the tournament, and his badges collection was less than impressive. A _lot_ less than impressive. "Well—are you guys going for the tournament?"

Kiku nodded. "I just got my eighth in Viridian City, and Ludwig got his in Pallet Town. How many do you have?"

"Oh—uh—you know—e—eight," Feli gulped.

"So, you're participating?" Ludwig asked.

"No—I don't feel like it," Feli swallowed.

"But it's a great opportunity," Kiku smiled. "Winner gets to battle one of the Ancient Three. I don't know which one though; it's kind of a battle secret. I'm praying for Roman, though"

"I—I'm just—n—not interested . . ." Feli spluttered.

"What're you going to Pewter for, then?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow.

"The—the—the g—gym . . ." Feli whispered, and then broke down in a fit of tears, grabbing on to each of their pants legs' and sobbing into them. "_I haven't gotten eight badges, it's was all lies, lies, LIES! I only have one, and that was because the trainer was really, really tired! I'm so sorry I didn't mean for it to spiral into the web of LIES AND MADNESS! Please let me come to Pewter with you, please, please, PLEASE_!"

"Feliciano, calm down!" Ludwig exclaimed.

"You can come to Pewter with us!" Kiku exclaimed. It took a few minutes, but Feli eventually stopped crying and allowed them to help him to his feet. He wiped his eyes, hugged them for allowing him to travel with them, and then smiled.

"So, how many Pokémon do you have?" Kiku asked.

"Ah—two," Feli muttered, pulling out his second Pokéball. An Evee; Feli had a Pichu and an Evee. Two un-evolved Pokémon; and he was halfway to the Pewter city tournament. Ludwig blinked.

"_Well, no wonder you keep losing_!"

* * *

Feli seemed to enjoy sightseeing over training, and Ludwig wondered why he even bothered with trying to train. While he and Kiku were training after signing up for the tournament, Feli and his Pichu were currently taking pictures with the guy in the Strawberry costume outside the frozen yogurt shop.

"_Guys_!" Feli exclaimed, running into the middle of the fight. The two boys screamed in alarm, as both of their Pokémon were currently in the middle of doing advanced moves.

"_Cranidos, get back_!" Ludwig shouted.

"_Sawk, stop_!" Kiku exclaimed.

In a jolt of confusion, both Pokémon tried to dodge Feli by going the same way and crashing right into each other. When the smoke cleared, both Pokémon had knocked each other out, leaving no room for a winner.

Both boys ran to their Pokémon, picking them up (well, Ludwig picked his up, Kiku didn't. Sawk was too big,) and checking them for bruises before putting them back in their Pokéballs. Ludwig glared at Feli.

"This better be good," Ludwig growled.

Feli looked confident that this was something good. "I got Fro-Yo!"

Feli had a tendency to get in the middle of Pokémon fights, often running in the middle to show them pictures or telling him that he got them all some sort of frozen treat. Kiku would always respond with a tight smile and a "that's nice, Feli." But Ludwig wouldn't even humor him; he would snap at him for being stupid and make him cry again.

In the long run, one week had passed and they'd barely gotten any training. Ludwig blamed it on Feli—Kiku said that it wasn't his fault numerous times, but Feli wasn't convinced. On the day of the tournament, he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

"Did you really have to be so hard on him?" Kiku asked, narrowing his eyes.

"What? It _was_ his fault," Ludwig grunted. "You've told him that before"

"Once or twice," Kiku shrugged. "But my opinion doesn't really matter to him. It's what you say that he cares about. I think he looks up to you"

"I meet him like a month ago!" Ludwig exclaimed. "And we're the same age!"

"So?" Kiku smiled a bit. "You're like his idol, and you tell him he's useless at least twice a day. Don't you think that's a little spirit-crushing?"

Ludwig didn't respond, and the announcer came on. The cards shuffled on the screen, deciding who'd fight who.

The first fight wasn't for either Ludwig or Kiku, but between a boy named Ivan Braginski and Alfred Jones. Judging by their reactions to each other, Ludwig guessed that they'd already met. They tensed up near each other and refused to shake hands.

"Braviary, I choose _you_!" Alfred exclaimed, throwing his Pokéball. In a blast of light, an eagle-like Pokémon stood on the middle of the arena.

Ludwig whistled. "That's a new one" He took out his Pokédex, clicking it on.

_Braviary, the Valiant Pokémon. _

_The evolved form of Rufflet. _

_Because of its devotion to its friends, Braviary will continue battling, even after sustaining injury._

Ivan didn't seem intimidated, as he took out his Pokéball. "Ursaring, let's go!"

Ivan's Pokémon was about the size of a dump truck, covered in shaggy fur with a golden ring on its stomach. It roared, and the Braviary squawked in response.

Kiku didn't even have to say anything on the subject, and took out his Pokédex.

_Ursaring, the Hibernator Pokémon._

_The evolved form of Teddiursa. _

_Ursaring searches for honey in a forest daily. To reach its food, it often snaps trees with its four legs rather than climbing._

"A normal type versus a flying type," Ludwig muttered. "It's like they're not even thinking. I mean—yeah, Braviary is a flying type, but is that really any use against something as big as Ursaring?"

Kiku shrugged in response. "I heard that they hate each other. They're just fighting to fight right now; I don't think either of them cares about the tournament"

That statement was proven right after Kiku said it, as both boys screamed commands at the exact same time.

"Braviary, use Fury Attack!"

"Ursaring, use Slash!"

The attacks were one after the other; and only attack. All they did was attack each other, with no other means of defense, unarming, or boost-ups for special attacks. After Alfred's Pikachu was finally able to withstand Ivan's Sunflora, he won the match (consider the other two fights had ended in both Pokémon knocked out on the sand, and them blaming each other for it.)

"Sunflora has fainted—Alfred wins!" the announcer screamed, causing the crowd to cheer in response. Ludwig didn't get the point of those announcers. Everyone had already seen what happened; there was no need to state it.

"I'm next," Ludwig said, running backstage and entering the arena. Alfred was cocky, but had just enough modesty to shake Ludwig's hand. It had been a good amount of time since the last battle, enough time for Alfred to heal all of his Pokémon, and for Feli to still be missing.

"The rules are. . ." the referee went on about the rules everyone had already heard about before the last battle, even the obvious ones, like 'you can't capture someone else's Pokémon in the middle of a battle.' They shook hands a second time; and Ludwig looked to the crowd. Kiku was leaning about as far over the railing as the security guards would let him, but Feli wasn't there.

"And go!" the referee shouted.

"Braviary, go!" Alfred shouted. Someone had a favorite. That was a good thing, on Ludwig's part.

"Crandios!" Ludwig shouted, and the little dinosaur like creature appeared. You could see the color drain from Alfred's face. Yes, Braviary was fully evolved and Crandios wasn't. Then again, not only did Alfred not know if Crandios was close to evolving or not, but rock types like Crandios had a huge advantage over flying types like Braviary.

Ludwig's first instinct was to get Braviary on the ground. "Crandios, use Mold Breaker!"

Mold Breaker was just a self-boosting move—not an attack one. Alfred clearly thought that that was a stupid choice on Ludwig's part and yelled. "Braviary, use Fury Attack!"

The bird dived down at him, and Ludwig yelled. "Crandios, dodge it!"

The Pokémon did as he was told, causing the Braviary to miss. "Crandios, use Head Smash!"

The Crandios did so, and as the name implied, literally slammed his head into the Braviary's side. The bird let out a cry of pain, falling to the side. It made sense why the attack was so affective. When you put the high-up move, plus the power-up, and plus the fact that Braviary was already weak to rock types, the move was crushing.

"Quick—now use Take Down!" Ludwig commanded, and in a final move, the Braviary was down.

"Braviary is unable to fight—Ludwig wins round one," the ref shouted. Alfred snarled at him, and Ludwig smirked in response. The two took back their Pokémon, and when the second round came, Alfred made the first move again. Some people just never learn.

"Pikachu, I choose you!" Alfred exclaimed. Ludwig instantly recognized the thing as an evolved form of Pichu, Feli's Pokémon. And speaking of Feli—guess who still wasn't here.

"Vaporeon!" Ludwig shouted. It was a bit like a cat in appearance, but had a fish's tail and its fins surrounded its head to form a mane-like thing. Water types also held advantages out of electric types; some people just never learn.

Similar to the last fight, Ludwig figured it was going to be another easy win. But he shouldn't have underestimated Alfred. Even in his disadvantages, he pulled through. By the time the round was over, Vaporeon was knocked out cold.

"Vaporeon is unable to fight—Alfred wins!" the ref exclaimed. Ludwig gritted his teeth. Of course Alfred had to be good. He did get eight gym badges after all. And Alfred's first loss was getting him to think.

The third round came, and Alfred pulled out the first Pokémon. Ludwig realized that he knew what advantages and disadvantages were, he just didn't think them to be important. "Flareon, let's go!"

Or, then again, maybe he did.

The most obvious choice against a fire type would've been a water type, and Ludwig's only one had just been knocked out. Maybe he _knew_ that Ludwig liked to use advantages, so he threw out an electric type. If that was true, Alfred did have a _bit_ of intelligence. But one can't be sure.

Ludwig reached for his Crandios, just as someone shouted from the crowd.

"_LUDDY_!"

He turned for a brief second, seeing Feli leaning so far over the railings that the security guards were struggling to pull him back. "_Use Houndoom—use Houndoom_!"

Ludwig stiffened. Using a dark type against a fire type? Well, it wasn't a horrible decision, but it wasn't exactly genius either. In a fight like that, there weren't any advantages. It seemed stupid. But, either way, Ludwig grabbed his Pokéball and shouted. "Go, Houndoom!"

Even Houndoom looked confused when he was up against Flareon, but he fought either way. "Houndoom, use Thunder Fang!"

"Flareon, dodge it!"

The flame-clad cat jumped out of the way, and Houndoom's attack missed completely. Ludwig got into a bit of a desperate mode. He'd made his choice, and there was no backing out now. But still, he wished he'd chosen a Pokémon he could _strategize_ with. There was no telling what could happen without an advantage. Strangely enough, Ludwig didn't like it when the odds were even. "Houndoom—oh, I don't know, use Bite"

The dog leapt forward, and sunk his teeth into the Flareon's side. The Pokémon cried in pain, trying to shake itself loose, but it couldn't. Houndoom had a tight grip on it, and refused to let go.

". . . Is he allowed to do that?"

"This is a Pokémon battle—of course he is!"

"_Flareon, get it off of you_!" Alfred shrieked.

"Houndoom, don't let go!" Ludwig commanded. "Bite as hard as you can!"

The Houndoom did as it was told, while the Flareon struggled to get the creature off of it. Squealing in pain, the Flareon shook him off of him, staring at Houndoom as if he'd lost his mind.

"Houndoom, now—use Foul Play!" Ludwig shouted, and the creature lurched forward, attacking it and knocking it out with the move. A dark move and a weakening bite earlier was enough to knock it out cold.

"Flareon is unable to battle—!" the ref started.

"We know!" Ludwig snapped, taking Houndoom back up in its Pokéball. He shook hands with Alfred before running to the stands.

"Why did you tell me to do that?" Ludwig hissed.

"Because you love Houndoom," Feli smiled. "You have a personal bond with him. You fight well together, and he's your friend."

Ludwig thought that was stupid reasoning, but he nodded. "Well, it worked. Thanks"

Feli beamed, and Ludwig narrowed his eyes. "Where were you the first half of the fight?"

Feli squealed with joy, and pulled out something from his back pocket. "At the gym—I got my second gym badge!"

Before Ludwig could congratulate him, a voice boomed. "Next up is Ludwig Beilschmidt versus Wang Yao!"

"I'm up," Ludwig said, but made sure to give Feli a hug before going to his next battle. Feli smiled, and he looked like he was having the time of his life.

"Good luck!" Feli shouted.

Ludwig nodded in response. Maybe Feli would make it to the big leagues one day; maybe he'd learn how to be a great trainer. He already knew a lot about Pokémon, that was for sure. Maybe one day, he'd be excellent in battling Pokémon.

But never as good as Ludwig, of course.

* * *

_**Sorry I got this posted so late—I really wanted to post this today. **_

_**So I want the next chapter to have some OC characters in it, and this is where you guys come in. It's based loosely off an idea of my friend's, whereas countries have apprentices to take up after them. If you guys wanna read about yourselves—or at least your OCs—leave them in the reviews. The only countries currently taken are Greece and Sweden, so knock yourselves out, and I promise you'll show up in the next chapter at least once. **_

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!* **_


	10. HetApprentices, Part One

_**Credits to the OCs go after the chapter's done. ;) Because there are a lot I have to give credit to. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter 10 ~ * ~ ***_

_**~ * ~ * HetApprentices, Part One * ~ * ~**_

Before anyone ever took the job, they were warned that being a country's apprentice was the hardest and most unloving job in the world. Once there you accepted, there was no quitting. No going back. But no one ever blamed you for taking the job; apprentices were normally seen as naïve children who were tempted into entering the witch's house. Except, instead of candy, the countries offered immortality.

It seemed easy enough. You were to go to school until you reached the age where you could stay at home full time, but your apprentice work would always come before schoolwork. You needed to graduate high school with a GPA of 2.5 or higher, though college wasn't necessary (nor was it even suggested). Apprentices were given food, school education, and basically anything their little hearts desired all while living with their mentor country. With that on the contract, it was a pretty hard job to turn down.

But to every contract, there's the microprint.

When they say that apprentice work comes before schoolwork, they mean it. Countries are at full liberty to pull their apprentices out of school for the most meaningless of things. Take Denmark's apprentice, Willem, for example. The poor boy was in the middle of a math test when the class phone rang. The teacher picked it up, and with a pale face told him that his mentor had requested him, and that he said it was an emergency.

Willem had packed up his things at warp speed and ran all the way to Denmark's home. However, when he burst in with a First Aid kit and a cry of "_are you ok?! Who's dying_?!" he found a rather complex game of Monopoly going on between the Nordic countries, with Denmark crying that Sweden "cheated" and that he "should've won." Willem had a lot of explaining to do to the police that evening.

But school work was just the beginning; apprentice work came before anything that could even vaguely be counted as apprentice work. America's apprentice, a young girl named Beth, once ended up searching every nook and cranny of small town in Minnesota for a McDonalds, as the place was so small that it didn't really have anything. She ended up driving all the way to Minneapolis, and when she returned at half-past midnight, it turned out America had found another place to eat and wasn't hungry anymore.

Another problem was that countries didn't really do a background check on anyone who came to call. Greece's apprentice, Nyx, was a young girl with a severe case of ailurophobia. Ailurophobia, you see, is the irrational fear of cats. You can imagine her distress when she woke up one morning to find nine of them crawling all over her. Apparently, horrified cries of "_they're everywhere_!" could be heard from Sweden.

But even with the issues and ridiculousness of some country's actions, you never heard about any apprentice wanting to quit. Apprentices were blamed for a lot of things one couldn't rationally blame a country for—things like bankruptcy, economical failure, disease outbreaks, and governmental choices. If something happened and an apprentice just _happened_ to be involved, it was most definitely the apprentice's fault.

On one occasion, Poles protests began because of people's dissatisfaction with the Polish economy. Someone apparently traced their country's economic downfall back to day one, where the economic showed the first signs of failure. On that day, Poland's apprentice, Zander, had bought Poland the wrong kind of cereal. Of course, that_ had_ to be the reason to why the Polish economy was failing. Perhaps Poland's concentration was off because he'd eaten the wrong flavor of cereal. It was the only logical reasoning, right? In the end, the apprentice was to blame.

Yet no one ever wanted to quit. Perhaps that was because years of working together had created some kind of bond between a country and his apprentice, one most people didn't quite see nor understand. But a bond like that isn't something that can be explained through words as it can through actions.

And so, our story begins.

Five months before the word 'Christmas' was even muttered, most of the countries were planning the Christmas banquet. And why wouldn't they? It was easily the biggest party of the year, while every country from all walks of life came. There wasn't a single person in the world who didn't say 'I wouldn't miss it for the world.' Even if you weren't a party person, you wanted to go the United Nation's Annual Christmas Banquet.

Austria was in charge of music, and it was a known fact that he wrote new music every year for the banquet. According to Austria, music was an art that needed time to perfect. And it was, as his music was something anticipated for anyone who came.

He played out the keys on his piano, listening carefully to every key and thinking of the many musical possibilities. There was the sound of footsteps, and someone put their hands over his eyes. "Guess who?"

Austria sighed in annoyance. "Caralina, don't touch me"

His brunette apprentice giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a tight tug. "I love you, too! Didn't you miss me while I was at school?"

"No, I was too busy enjoying the silence," Austria muttered.

Caralina giggled. "You don't mean that," she said down, flipping through his music. "Is this for the banquet? It looks so pretty!"

"It's a bunch of lines," Austria narrowed his eyes.

"It still looks pretty!" Caralina gushed. "Hey . . . maybe I can go this year?"

"Of _course _you're going this year," Austria huffed. "You've just started high school; I think you're now old enough to attend the banquet. However, I hope you know that you're to be polite, respectable, quiet, as well as maintain a good image for this nation of Austria—"

Austria wasn't able to finish, as Caralina knocked him down to the ground in a lung-crushing hug. She knocked his glasses right off of his face and hugged him tightly around the neck. "Oh, thank you, _thank you_, THANK YOU!"

"Caralina, you broke my glasses again," Austria said, though his voice sounded strained.

"Oh, sorry," she giggled. "When do we go dress shopping?"

* * *

Somewhere along the planning, someone had decided many years ago that the Mediterranean countries were in charge of decorations and planning. Apparently, those guys threw the "wildest parties." There were eight Mediterranean countries: Spain, France, the Italy brothers, Greece, Turkey, Cyprus, and Egypt. Out of those eight, only three of them had apprentices.

To break it down, out of those three, two of them were female. That one boy was Fabrezio "Ezio" Beilschmidt-Vargas, and he first met the other girls, Mary and Nyx, when he was nine. Back when he was nine, he was terrified to be around girls. But then he remembered who his father was, so he flipped his hair, flashed a smile, snapped his fingers in their direction. "'Sup?"

Greece's apprentice, a girl named Nyx, burst out laughing. To this day, Ezio still had no idea why (he thought he was being cool and flirty). And to this day, Nyx claims that he had the stupidest look on his face and that his voice came out like a squeak. Since Ezio thought that Nyx wasn't a reliable source, he'd tried asking Mary for a second opinion. But she'd given the same reply that she always did. "I thought you looked nice"

Luckily for them, the apprentices weren't required to do much except be _there_. While the countries picked out things like wallpaper and appetizers (as well as argued over the fact of whether a disco ball was necessary or not), the apprentices simply found a table to do homework on. No one really minded as long as they said things like "I like the blue one" or "Romano's right."

Ezio was one who'd much rather be working on the banquet than doing literal equations, but Italy wasn't giving him much of a choice. More often than not, it sucked to have your dad for a boss. Ezio tapped his fingers on the table, and then decided to try and stare at the problem until it started to make sense (it didn't).

"_MARIA_!" Romano shouted to his apprentice. Mary got up, closed her textbook, and then ran over to her mentor.

"She's so nice," Ezio said, looking up.

"I guess," Nyx shrugged. "Or maybe just cooperative"

"I mean, _I _wouldn't just walk up to the guy who yelled at me, _you_ wouldn't just walk up to the guy that yelled at you," Ezio continued. "And she puts up with him calling her 'Maria' all the time"

"Well, that's her name, you know," Nyx still had her eyes on her homework.

"Her name is _Mary_," Ezio corrected her. The cultural difference between the three of them was that Ezio and Nyx were natively Greek and German-Italian, while Mary was a Canadian. Therefore her pronunciation was off when saying just about everything, including her own name in some terms.

"Whatever," Nyx said. "It's weird you're complimenting her on how nice she is"

"Why?" Ezio said. "I mean, she is. Not as nice as me, though"

Nyx scoffed, and Ezio narrowed his eyes at her. "What?"

"You're not nice," she laughed. "You're a German-Italian teenager. That already says a lot"

"Shut up!" Ezio snapped. "I'm so nice, I—!"

"Fabrezio, _tesero_!" Italy called. "Can you come here for a second?"

Ezio groaned. "Ugh, dad, can't you see that I'm _BUSY_?! Gimme a second!"

"Ok, take your time!"

When Ezio turned back to Nyx, she was smirking like a Cheshire Cat. "Oh, you're _so_ nice,"

"Shut it," Ezio grunted, just as his phone buzzed. He picked it up, answered the text, and then returned his attention back to Nyx. Nyx giggled, resting her chin on her hand. "Who's that? You're boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend," Ezio snapped, shoving his phone in his pocket just so that Nyx couldn't see that Willem was the one who texted him. Right at that moment, the lights cuts off, and a disco ball fell from the ceiling. Lights danced on the walls while an array of 1970s music began to play.

Mary scurried back over them. "So I take it that's a 'yes' to the disco ball"

* * *

"Doesn't this look cuh-ute?"

Poland's apprentice, Zander, sighed. "Don't you think that's a bit inappropriate for the Christmas banquet?"

"You didn't answer my question, Zandy," Poland pursed his lips together.

"You look lovely," Zander promised. It'd be a lie if he said Poland didn't. Poland was currently in a pink cocktail dress that didn't leave enough for the imagination, turning around in it even though it wouldn't fan out like a normal dress. He'd clipped his hair back with a bow, smiling at himself in the mirror as if he deserved to be on one of those models during Paris Fashion Week. "But don't you think a suit would be a bit more appropriate?"

"Suits are boring," Poland whined, looking through a couple of boxes of shoes. "Besides, I need to get Liet's attention"

"Well—um—you're going to get a lot more than _Liet's_ attention if you go to the banquet in that," Zander said.

"Really? Cool!"

"That's not a good thing,"

Poland grumbled, turning around (quite impressively, considering the five-inch heels he was now wearing) and pointing a finger at him. "Tell you what, Zandy. I'll wear a suit if you deliver this to Liet"

Poland handed him an envelope that was hot pink, sealed with a heart sticker, and smelled like a bottle of Channel No. 5. Zander handled the love letter with care, agreeing to Poland's terms and then walking out the door.

Lithuania's house was but a hop, skip, and a bus ride away from Poland's, and Zander often visited to ask for cups of sugar or a pair of ear buds (Poland talked _a lot_, and it was hardly about anything Zander even remotely cared about). Zander knocked on the door, and when Lithuania answered, Zander began to comprehend how embarrassing it was to be standing on someone's doorway holding a pink envelope.

"Zander?" Lithuania asked, smiling. "How are you—?"

Without thinking, Zander shoved the envelope in his face, interrupting his sentence. ". . . f-f-for . . . f-for . . ."

Lithuania took the envelope. "What's this?"

"It's uh . . . for . . . you . . ." Zander muttered, his fact turning a bright shade of red.

"For me?" Lithuania pointed to himself.

"Y . . . yeah" Zander turned on his heels, walking down the steps at no particular pace. But as soon as Lithuania called his name, he dashed out of there as fast as his legs allowed him.

* * *

There were times when Willem felt like apprentices were an endangered species. There were five Nordics, all who were in charge of gift bags (Willem would've questioned their need of gift bags if he didn't get one). And out of those five, only three of them had apprentices: Sweden, Norway, and Denmark.

Willem supposed he was lucky to have someone to hang out with at all, and it wasn't like Rena (Sweden's apprentice) and Noelle (Norway's apprentice) were horrible company. So while the Nordics were making some sort of new toy for the banquet's guests, Rena was finishing up her homework, Noelle was doing God-knows-what on her phone, and Willem was whittling.

"That's my boy, being productive," Denmark gushed, and began waving at Willem. "You're doing great, sweetie!"

"Not your son," Willem spat, and in his annoyance ended up cutting his finger with his knife. He whimpered, sucking on his thumb as if that would help heal his cut.

"I wonder . . ." Rena muttered, and then turned to Willem. "Who do you think tops, Iceland or Norway?"

"What?" Willem turned to her.

"Who do you think tops, Iceland or Norway?" Rena asked. "You know, when they have—"

"Oh, God, _Rena_!" Willem snapped, a horrified look making its way onto his face. "They're _brothers_!"

"Not technically," Rena pointed out. "I mean, they're countries. It's different"

"It is not!"

"Ok, fine. Who do you think tops, Norway or Denmark—?"

"_That's my father—I mean boss you're talking about_!"

". . . It's Denmark . . ."

Both Rena and Willem turned, as Noelle had yet to take her eyes off of her phone. Hearing her talk was about as likely as seeing a Solar Eclipse. And judging by the glimpse he once got at one was on her phone, he knew she wasn't texting on that thing. She looked at them with big brown eyes and blinked. ". . . It's Denmark and you know it . . ."

"_I'm not a product of a gay relationship, everyone knows that's Ezio_!" Willem snapped.

"You admitted it! Come to papa—!" Demark exclaimed.

"NO ONE WAS TALKING TO YOU!" Willem snapped, interrupting him and plopping down in his seat, returning to his whittling.

"That was a bit unnecessary, don't you think?" Rena raised an eyebrow. "You shouldn't be the one shouting at him. He's your boss, after all."

"He's an idiot, that's what he is," Willem grunted. "I swear, when I'm Denmark—!"

Noelle didn't let him finish. ". . . There's no promise that you're ever going to be. Maybe in another hundred years or so . . . but there's no promise . . . like . . . there's a chance you're just going to be his apprentice forever . . . why do you think so few countries actually have apprentices . . .?"

"Shut it," Willem growled. "They wouldn't hire us if they didn't have plans for retirement. And believe me; I'm counting down the days until that happens"

"I'm not," Rena shivered. "I don't think I'm ready to be a country. That shit's _scary_. Plus, I don't know what I'd do without Sweden."

"You wouldn't have to babysit his brats, that's for sure," Willem scoffed. Sweden and Finland, though they "weren't married," practically had custody over two boys: Sealand and Ladonia. Since they worked late, Rena was usually the one watching the two boys.

"Hey!" Rena sat up, slamming her hands on the table and pointing a pencil at him in a threatening way. "No one picks on my brats except for _me_, got it?"

"Got it, got it!" Willem made a face at her wooden, freakishly sharp weapon. "Now get that pencil out of my face!"

Rena gave him the 'I'm-watching-you' symbol with her fingers, and then sat back down. "Besides, I know they love us"

"Sure," Willem scoffed. "I'm just here for the job"

Rena made a face, and then cupped her hands over her mouth. "_Sweden_!" the tallest of the Nordics turned, his facial expression going from blank to slightly curious (though one couldn't really tell with that guy). "_I love you_!"

Sweden simply nodded in response, turning back to his work. Rena smiled, and then turned back to Willem. "All the love was in his eyes, you see. Not his words or facial expressions"

Willem's phone buzzed, and he checked it. By the looks of it, Ezio had responded to his texts.

_They've got a disco ball. And music by the 'Jackson Five.' Help. _

Willem laughed a bit, writing his response. Rena smirked, crossing her arms. "Are you texting your boyfriend again?"

"Ezio's _not_ my boyfriend," Willem grunted. "We're friends"

". . . With benefits . . ." Noelle muttered.

"I like you better when you're a mute," Willem grunted.

* * *

The banquet's Special Effects were left in the hands of America, Japan, and Romania that year. Apparently, Japan had the technology, America had the money, and Romania had the 'wildest imagination' out of all of the countries. Out of all the groups that were working on the banquet, the Special Effects group was the only one where all of the members had an apprentice.

All of the apprentices had personalities that seemed to contradict each other. There was America's apprentice, Beth, who was the athlete. There was Tristan, Japan's apprentice, who was the Sci-Fi nerd. And then there was Viola, Romania's apprentice, the paranoid philosopher. So while their mentors were trying to figure out to make it look like it was snowing inside the building, Tristan was watching 'Merlin,' Beth was bench-pressing her chair, and Viola was thinking.

"Beth," Tristan said suddenly.

Beth looked up. "Yeah?"

"Thank you," he muttered, and then promptly burst into tears.

Beth shrugged, ignoring his odd behavior, and returned to her bench-pressing. "You're welcome"

"What're you thanking her for?" Viola asked.

"Just . . . for . . . always being there . . ." Tristan sobbed, and then looked up with a tear-stained face. "I never . . . ever . . . said 'thank you' . . ."

"Are you saying that because you're thankful, or because your favorite character died saying 'thank you'?" Beth asked.

"_Both_!" Tristan exclaimed, slamming his head on his table and beginning to cry again. "_Oh, Arthur, why did you have to leave this Earth in your prime of life_?!"

"Are you drunk and emotional right now?" Beth raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, hey, guys," Viola said. "What if we're all actually characters in a fanfiction, and we're being made to say what we're saying, like, I could be saying this for dramatic irony, Tristan could be crying for a comedic occurrence, and—"

"Viola, shut up," Beth said, patting Tristan on the back. "He's grieving"

"Oh, sorry," Viola said, and, following in suit with Beth, patted his back softly. "There, there. There are more fish in the sea"

"I don't want a fish!" Tristan wailed. "I want Arthur to be alive!"

"Viola!" America snickered, barley holding back giggles as he held out a button towards the girl. "C-can you p-push this for m-me?"

Beth thought it was obviously a prank, as did Tristan. But Viola simply smiled and agreed, pressing the button with care. As expected, a holographic zombie popped out at her and roared. Viola screamed loud enough to wake the dead (pun intended), and then collapsed. While America was having a laughing fit, Viola was still lying on the floor, clearly unconscious.

Tristan sighed, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "I'll make her some coffee"

* * *

There were very few countries who had absolutely no part in planning the banquet, and two of those were Canada and Prussia, though more commonly referred to as "who's that?" and "Ha! He's not a country anymore!" Both of these countries had apprentices, and both of them absolutely loved it when banquet planning came around.

Samantha (Canada's apprentice) and Ozzie (Prussia's apprentice) loved this time of year for one reason and one reason only: gloating rights. While all of their friends were dashing around and doing extra work (as all of their mentors were making them do their usual apprentice work plus extra party planning), they got to lay back and relax. Oddly enough, they didn't usually get much work with the Christmas Banquet just around the corner.

But once you got over that feeling of 'ha-you're-working-and-I'm-not,' things did get pretty boring. Once you became bored with what was on TV, the fact that all of your friends were busy really hit you hard. And besides, they don't play anything but re-runs of bad shows in the middle of the day.

"Nope—nope—nope—" Samantha sighed, flipping through the channels. She was left alone at home with no one but Ozzie for company. She figured that Canada was out doing work or something; she usually didn't question his business.

"_Uggh_," Ozzie whined, throwing her head back in annoyance. "I'm so _bored_!"

"I know," Samantha muttered.

"There's nothing to _do_!"

"I know,"

"I wanna _go places_!"

"I know,"

"I wanna go _do stuff_!"

"I know,"

"Sammy, let's go do something!"

"I know,"

"Huh?"

"What?"

Ozzie blinked at her. "I said 'let's go do something.' You weren't listening to me, were you?"

"Sorry," Samantha said, and then changed the channel on the TV. "Mr. Canada says we're not allowed to leave the house—"

"_Who_?" Ozzie interrupted her using a stupid tone of mock confusion, putting a fake confused look on her face. "I don't know anyone named 'Canada'! Are you sure you don't mean _America_?"

Samantha scowled at her. "You know who he is, Ozzie"

"Yeah, whatever," Ozzie smirked. "We're walking distance from the mall, anyways. They'll never know that we were gone."

"I don't know, Ozzie . . ." Samantha bit her lower lip. "They could be back at any moment"

"That's a load of bull, c'mon!" Ozzie grabbed her by the arm, dragging her out of the house. She wasn't lying; it was a short walk from Canada's house to the nearest mall, which held one of Samantha's favorite ice cream shops of all time. And after getting a vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles, she didn't really care about breaking Canada's rules.

"Sammy, look!" Ozzie took a lick of her birthday cake ice cream, and then pointed. "It's Gil and Canada!"

Out of all the apprentices, Samantha was pretty sure that Ozzie was the only one to call her mentor by his first name. But Samantha looked in the direction that Ozzie was pointing, and saw that she was indeed pointing to Prussia and Canada. Maybe it was the vanilla ice cream talking, but Samantha smiled. "Let's go say hi"

They took one step, and then froze. There was the sound of blaring lights and the sound of alarms, as someone dashed out of the nearest Hot Topic. By the looks of it, it was a middle-aged man in a pony hoodie, clutching a Ciel Phantomhive doll in his hands.

The thief turned on his heels, dashing down the hallways with security in pursuit. "_You'll never take me alive, coppers!_"

"What was that?" Samantha muttered.

"I dunno, but that was awesome," Ozzie giggled. She then pointed to Prussia and Canada. Canada was now clinging onto Prussia's shirt, and Prussia smirked and put his arm around his waist. Canada made a face, but he was laughing as he tried to push him off him. Prussia laughed, kissing him on the cheek and then whispering in his ear. Samantha couldn't hear what Prussia said, but it was enough to make Canada turn bright red as the two continued on their walk.

Samantha's ice cream fell right out of her hands, but Ozzie looked ecstatic. "Yes! I got a picture! This is _so_ going on Tumblr!"

* * *

Zander tapped his foot, and then checked his watch. He hated waiting in lines. Every other week or so, he had to pick up Poland's paperwork. And every other week or so, he ended up waiting in line for more than an hour. The woman in charge of paperwork, Ross, was about as sweet as a lemon and hated anyone under the age of eighteen (in other words, she hated children more than she hated her job, which was a lot).

He was usually used to all of this waiting, but today was different. He had to pick up his tux for the banquet this afternoon, and apparently Poland just _needed_ those new pairs of shoes, so he was already in a hurry. He wasn't in the mood to sit here for another hour and a half.

"Can't she hurry _up_?" a voice behind him muttered. Zander turned, and gulped. There was that girl again. The only thing he really knew about her was that she was an apprentice, and that she came here for paperwork around the same time he did. She always wore an array of weird t-shirts, todays being a black one with a superhero taking up the entire shirt (it was Deadpool—he looked it up).

"H-hi," Zander spluttered.

She nodded in response. "Hey"

"N-nice shirt," he said.

"Thanks," she was tapping her foot now. Something told him she wasn't really in the mood for conversation.

"Y-you know," Zander laughed a bit. "I've never r-realized that Deadpool has s-some really big shoulders"

It was right then that he realized that on her t-shirt, Deadpool's shoulders were located right over her—ah—_chest area_. The girl looked down, and then gave him a somewhat angry face. "Are you _hitting_ on me?"

"What—uh—no!" Zander turned around as fast as he could, his face turning bright red. "I—I was just—I didn't n-notice that—"

"Dude, just . . . no," the girl shook her head. "Not in the mood"

"I'm so sorry," Zander exclaimed, whipping around and walking up to the counter. Ross was still there, taking her sweet time sorting out all of their paperwork. "Could you please work faster?"

Ross scowled at him and raised an eyebrow. "Could you please grow up faster?"

Needless to say, the next half hour was the most awkward one of his life.

* * *

_**Sorry if a lot of these moments seemed pointless, but I wanted to get everyone introduced here.**_

_**OC credits:**_

_**Noelle, Rena, and Nyx: **_myself

_**Tristan: **_ShowMeTheStarsIn221B

_**Mary and Ozzie: **_TooBitter

_**Catalina: **_ThePersonofAwesomeness

_**Zander:**_theotakuat221b

**_Beth: _**Bookworm213

_**Samantha:** _Dixie C Jones

_**Williem and Ezio:**_ sillypandalover91

_**Viola:**_ The Magnetic Witch

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja **_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


	11. HetApprentices, Part Two

_**Once again, OC credits go out at the end of the chapter. **_

_**~ * ~ * Chapter 11 ~ * ~ ***_

_**~ * ~ * HetApprentices, Part Two ~ * ~ ***_

Though all of the countries were young in appearance, most of them had an odd habit of treating their apprentices like their own children. You would think that apprentices would have a lot of "wiggle room," but Country Mentors were often strict. For example, when Tristan failed his math test, he went as far as attempting to hack into the school's system to hide it from Japan (he figured that watching Sci-Fi shows gave him the knowledge on how to hack into a complex system). When Japan found it, he repeated "I'm not mad," in a soft tone for ten minutes before chasing him around the house with a katanna.

Then again, having your mentor care about you that much wasn't always a downside. Birthdays were always a plus, as anything your little heart desired was given to you. On Nyx's birthday, she'd asked for a Pokémon. True, it was only a kitten painted to look like a Pikachu, but she loved him all the same (and the fact that it was just a cat didn't stop her from doing commands like "Pikachu, use thunder blast!").

Speaking of Tristan and Nyx, the two spent enough time together that they could proclaim themselves roommates and it would make perfect sense. Considering the suspicious amount of time Greece and Japan spent together, their apprentices had gotten a lot of time to talk. And so, on the night of the banquet, Tristan was trying to do Nyx's hair for her.

"Ow, ow, _ow_!" Nyx grunted, digging her fingernails into the seat. "Don't pull on it!"

"Sorry!" Tristan exclaimed, but responded with a typical 'brother' move and yanked on her hair harder. When she glared at him, he simply smiled. "Sorry. Accident."

Tristan was in those awkward teen years of his. That meant when around strangers, he hardly ever talked, and when he did, it was something similar to the conversation at hand with a small reference to a Sci-Fi show he liked. When around someone he was familiar with—a poor unfortunate soul like Nyx—he was an explosion of nerd and a pathetic attempt at attitude.

"Yeah, right," Nyx scoffed, and then shoved him off of her head. "Stop it—hey—stop it! I'll do it myself," she ran a brush through her hair, and it got stuck in her curls. She let out a grunt of annoyance, putting the brush down and grabbing a few pins.

"You're gonna screw up," Tristan smirked.

"Am not," Nyx responded, sticking out her tongue.

"Are too,"

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Am—Damn it, Tristan, you made me screw up!"

Tristan laughed like a child, pointing at her hair. "Ha! Your hair looks like you rubbed your socks on a carpet!" he paused. "You probably don't get that. You know, 'cause static electricity makes your hair stick up—"

"I got it," Nyx gritted her teeth, interrupting him. "And your hair makes you look like you stuck your finger in a socket"

Tristan made a face. "I worked hard to make it look spikey"

"Yeah, it was a waste of time," Nyx retorted. "Plus your face is all chubby, so you look like a two-year-old."

Tristan grabbed his cheeks and squished them together, and then scowled at her. "I do not!"

"Do too," Nyx smirked.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do—stop it!"

Nyx rolled her eyes, and then returned her attention back to her hair, which she was trying to get into a Greek-style bun. "I can't get it right,"

"I've seen you with your hair all nice before," Tristan scoffed. "You know, on the special occasions where it doesn't look like you have a small animal burrowing in there. So why can't you fix it now?"

"Greece usually does it for me," Nyx admitted with a scowl.

"_Greece_ does your hair?" Tristan laughed; a look of disbelief on his face. "You're joking, right? Not only is that guy awake about two days a year, but his hands are the size of your face."

"No, I'm not!" Nyx snapped. "It's a Greek bun, you idiot, and he happened to be Greece! But he's spending some quality time with _your_ mentor right now, so he told me to try and do it myself"

"You're not the only one who's got it rough," Tristan sat down on her bed, playing with her stuffed rabbit. "I had to walk two blocks in Tokyo to pick up my suit."

"It was only two blocks away?" Nyx scoffed, narrowing her eyes and smiling. "What the hell are you whining about?"

"It's just your hair, what the hell are you whining about?" Tristan snapped.

"You're such a baby," Nyx growled.

"And you're such a bi—"

"Don't you _dare_ say it, Tristan, or I swear I _will_ rip your tongue out!"

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me!"

They sat in silence for a bit, until Tristan fell backwards on Nyx's bed. He grabbed a stuffed cat of hers and hugged it. "I wanna go home."

"Go ask your mentor if you can," Nyx rolled her eyes. "I'm getting sick of seeing you here."

"I can't, since he's hanging out with _your_ mentor!" Tristan retorted. "He's the one who told me to come up here with you!"

"I can't help it if he likes Greece more than he likes you," Nyx hissed.

"He doesn't!" Tristan stood up, his voice filled with a mixture of annoyance and anger. "Shut up!"

Nyx rolled her eyes, running a comb through their hair. "They've been spending a lot of time together, huh?"

"I guess so. It's almost as if they're dating, isn't it?" Tristan shrugged, and his face paled. "W-What if t-they are d-dating? W-what if they get married, Nyx?"

"Don't be stupid," Nyx said, tying her hair back a bit.

"I'm serious!" Tristan retorted. "We'd be brother and sister! Like—like Sherlock and Mycroft!"

"Who?" Nyx raised an eyebrow.

"Sherlock and Mycroft? They're brothers. From BBC's _Sherlock_?" Tristan looked completely horrified. "You don't watch _Sherlock_?"

"I'm not into BBC," Nyx returned her attention back to the mirror, and Tristan looked like he was having a heart attack. "Besides, you said they were brothers. I'm never going to be your sister, that's impossible. If anything, we'd be step-brother and step-sister. Like Phineas and Ferb."

"Who?" Tristan looked confused.

"Are you kidding me? You know who Mycroft is and you don't know who Phineas and Ferb are?" Nyx rolled her eyes.

"'Ferb' sounds like some kind of poisonous fungi," Tristan scoffed, and then got a solemn look to his face. "But really; I don't want to be your brother. I like being an only child. Plus, you suck"

"Don't worry, I don't want to be your _step_-sister," Nyx corrected, standing up. "I enjoy being the only thing Greece cares about. Also, you're a jerk"

"We're already acting like siblings!" Tristan exclaimed, jumping up and offering her his hand. "We've got to end their relationship—the banquet's gonna be the perfect time to do it. This is the only time we're gonna work together, ok? Then we can go back to our own lives and silently hating each other"

Nyx didn't hesitate to grab his hand and shake it. "Deal,"

* * *

Zander decided very quickly that he didn't really like social outings. He didn't even_ want _to come here in the first place; it was all Poland's idea.

He'd been ready for the banquet hours before Poland was even vaguely ready. Something about straightening his hair and getting his mascara on right. It'd taken another hour to convince Poland that a cocktail dress was indeed a bad idea, but in the end, Poland had gone with a pastel colored suit that make Zander want to hit his head on a desk until he knocked himself into a coma.

They'd arrived there about forty minutes late, with the party already in full swing Poland had insisted on going off to find 'Liet,' but Zander grabbed his arm and insisted that he stay put.

"Ugh, you're no fun, Zandy!" Poland exclaimed.

The pink bow in Zander's hair said differently, but he simply sighed and continued on. "Sorry, sir, but this is professional. You have to go to go and sit down at your spot for dinner, remember?"

Poland pursed his lips together, and then smirked. "Tell you what, if you help me kiss Liet, I'll help you land a date with the assistant over there" his voice was louder that it should've been when he pointed to the girl who was behind him in the line yesterday. A girl with her hair in a Greek-bun, who was deep in conversation with what's-his-name, Japan's apprentice.

"W-what?!" Zander hissed. Thank God that girl didn't notice, but with the volume of Poland's voice, she very well could've.

"You've been trying to talk to her for the last five years, Zandy, I'm not stupid," Poland squealed, and then looked around. "Now, where's some mistletoe?"

"H-hold on a minute!" Zander exclaimed. "Who—who says I want to—to—to talk to her?"

"Zandy, honey, your lips say 'no' but your stutter says 'yes,'" Poland bopped him on the nose, and Zander shivered. "You're just seriously bad at talking to girls. You've never even had a girlfriend before."

"I've had lots of girlfriends!" Zander retorted.

"Boo, you haven't had a girlfriend, but you've had a lot of exes," Poland rubbed his shoulder. Poland always said that about his relationship issues. According to Poland, Zander had never had a real girlfriend. He just got pushed around to a point where the girl in question figured she might as well call him her boyfriend. Zander's inability to say 'no' usually landed him in an unwanted relationship, ending with no problems and no heartbreaks. But during the relationship, Zander and girlfriend-number-whatever wouldn't interact much. It was a relationship that consisted of nothing but the words "yeah, she's my girlfriend" or "yeah, he's my boyfriend."

"T-that doesn't m-make any sense!" Zander would always say, even if it had gotten to a point where he understood what Poland was saying.

Poland smirked. "You need more help than I do. Let me help you," he shoved Zander towards the girl, who was by herself now. "Go get her Zandy! I got to go to the boring part. Come talk to me after you've won her over!"

_Breathe, breathe_, Zander thought, looking in a nearby mirror and making sure he looked ok before he talked to her. He didn't think he did; his freckles still weren't agreeing with him (they never did.) He sighed, and then walked over to her.

Judging by her choice of dress color, he guessed that she was Greece's apprentice. Blue and white, with a shawl around her shoulders, and her hair pulled back in a Greek bun, only strengthening the belief that she came here alongside Greece.

"H-hi," he said, but his voice came out like a squeak. He cleared his throat. "Hi"

"Hey," she narrowed her eyes at him. "You're Poland's apprentice, right?"

Zander forgot how to talk again. ". . . yeah . . . My name's, uh, Zandy. No—no—it's not! I mean, yeah, uh—Poland c-calls me that, but—it's n-not really my name, my—err—ah—uh—um—name is—um—Z-Zander . . ."

"That's nice, I'm Nyx," she said, peering behind the wall. Her eyes were narrowed. "Can you help me out, here?"

"Help you? W-with what?" Zander spluttered.

"Seeing what those little bitches are up to," Nyx said through gritted teeth. She leaned over the railing, and Zander saw that she was watching a couple of countries. One was extremely tall and brunette, the other one was short and inky-haired. The brunette had a curl on the back of his head, and Zander thought that was a bit odd. "It's not something good. It's never anything good. Let's get closer and see if we can hear what they're saying—"

"W-wait!" Zander took in a breath. "Are—uh—are you from Tennessee?"

Nyx blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Um—ah—are you from Tennessee?" he asked again, his cheeks turning bright red.

"I was born in Athens," Nyx raised an eyebrow.

"Well, uh—" he spluttered. That wasn't supposed to be her answer. "You're—th-the . . . you'retheonlytenIsee," he turned on his heels, and then walked away in no particular fashion. She didn't stop him, but instead moved closer to the two countries, still trying to listen in.

* * *

Caralina was extremely proud of Austria's music skills, even if they weren't her own. Considering Austria was busy at the moment, she didn't really have much to do, so she went to talk to some of the other apprentices.

You could tell who the clingy ones were and who weren't. Canada's apprentice—Samantha—had latched onto Canada's arm and refused to let go. Her eyes were kid of wide, as if she hadn't slept in a while, and she kept saying. "Is there something you want to _tell_ me, Canada? _Is there_?"

Then there were apprentices who acted the exact opposite. Denmark kept trying to hug his apprentice, a boy named Willem. Willem kept shrugging him off, and at one point, shoved him completely off of him.

Caralina smiled at the madness of it all, because in all reality, it was pretty entertaining to see. Nearly everyone was at least a little bit drunk, and Prussia had gotten so drunk he was dancing on Austria's piano. A crowd of countries had gathered around him, shouting catcalls and taking photos

"_Where have all—hic—the good man gone and—hic—where are—hic—all the—hic—Gods_?" Prussia's singing was horribly off-key and Ozzie, after she was done laughing, was trying to get him off of the piano before he broke it. She apologized a couple of times, but Austria continued to play as if nothing happened.

"_Germannnyyyyyy_!" Italy ran across the room, threw his arms around Germany's neck and kissed him right on the mouth. Caralina wished she could say that it was something short and sweet, but it quickly escalated from that, as it moved from a peck to full on frenching.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Romano exclaimed, while Mary tried to grab him by the arm and drag him back. "Touch my _fratello_ one more time and I will kill you!"

"But Lovi, we were just kissing! I kissed him!" Italy exclaimed, get not letting go of Germany.

"Can't you see I'm saving your sorry ass—wait what?" Romano gave his brother a confused look.

"_Si_! I kissed him!"

"What the hell? Potato bastard you totally drugged him! I'm going to kill you! I'm going to punch you so hard, it's gonna make your grandparents head spin"

"There's no need for that—" Germany started.

"Dad, watch out!" Ezio shouted, cutting his father off just as Romano jumped on Germany.

"Can it, love-child!" Romano snapped, landing a well-aimed punch at Germany's face. Germany grunted in annoyance, shoving Romano off him with enough force to get the Italian off of him and sending him crashing into the stairs.

By now, Ozzie and Prussia were jumping up and down screaming "fight, fight, fight!" at the top of their lungs, which was quickly taken up by some other countries. Meanwhile, Zander was scooting closer and closer to Nyx. "So, they're _really_ fighting, aren't they?" Zander said with a small laugh.

"Hey, get away from her!" Tristan exclaimed, grabbing Nyx by the arm and dragging her backwards.

"Don't touch me!" Nyx shoved Tristan off of her. "You're_ not_ my brother, Tristan!"

"He's getting all comfy-cozy with you!" Tristan snapped.

"So what if he is!" Nyx retorted, and Caralina couldn't help but notice how awkwardly Zander snuck away from the two bickering apprentices, a blush on his face. "I'm not your problem, and you're not mine!"

"You ungrateful little—!" Tristan started.

"_Ungrateful_?! You didn't do anything!" Nyx retorted.

"You're just getting more and more ungrateful by the second! If this is what all Greeks are like, then maybe my mentor should just see someone else!"

"That was the plan, dipshit! And we Greeks aren't the problem, it's _you_! You and your weird culture and your stupid language! You not leaving our goddamn house is the freaking problem!"

"You take that back!"

"Why don't you _make me_?!"

With some sort of cry of anger, Tristan tackled Nyx to the ground. The girl found back, kicking him in the chest. Ozzie was cheering for both fights now, though with Germany and Romano, the winner seemed obvious. A fight between Tristan and Nyx would probably end with both of them crying.

By now, Romano was losing terribly while Tristan and Nyx were fighting in a tangle of arms and legs. Austria had stopped playing, and was having a freak-out session because everyone was either fighting or drunk. Finland had leapt into Sweden's arms (out of fright or just because, no was sure), while Ezio was hiding behind Willem and the two of them were shouting "We're not gay! We're not gay!" to the people surrounding them.

Caralina climbed on a nearby table, put two fingers in her mouth, and whistled so loud France's wine glass cracked. Everyone stopped in their place, with Romano attempting to rip Germany's hair out and Nyx with a piece of Tristan's tuxedo in her hands.

"You're making Austria stressed!" Caralina exclaimed, and when Austria gave her an odd look, she added. "Oh, yeah, and this is madness!"

"You're not going to win, sir," Mary grabbed Romano and quickly dragged him off of Germany. Ezio ran over to his father, helping him to his feet and repeatedly asking if he was ok.

Greece ran over, grabbing Nyx by the shoulders and literally picking her up and off of Tristan. Her feet were dangling in the air, and she turned and offered him a nervous smile. "Hi."

Japan grabbed Tristan by the ear and dragged him backwards. The funny part was that Japan was a lot shorter than Tristan, so Tristan had to bend down so he could be grabbed by the ear. He didn't even fight back, and Caralina even doubted that he could. He simply exclaimed "ow, ow, _ow_!" all while getting dragged away by someone barely even half his size.

Austria sighed. "I suppose this is where the evening ends."

"Are you proud of me?" Caralina gushed, grabbing onto Austria and hugging him tightly.

"Surprisingly," Austria looked at her, the smallest trace of a smile on his face. "Yes"

* * *

The next morning, the headline for every newspaper, tabloid, and magazine was _**CHRISTMAS CHAOS**__. _Viola proved this by holding up the newspaper for the rest of the apprentices to see, as the thirteen of them were sitting in the park.

"We fucked up," Rena muttered.

"_We_ didn't fuck up," Beth scowled in Nyx and Tristan's direction, as both teenagers were covered in bruises and Band-Aids. "_They_ fucked up!"

"He started it," Nyx muttered around the same time that Tristan muttered. "She started it."

"Great," Samantha sighed. "They're never going to take us anywhere now."

"I hope it was worth it," Willem snapped.

"I'm grounded until I die because of that stupid banquet!" Nyx retorted. "I had to sneak out my window just to meet up with you guys! I don't need you on my case, too, Mr. Homo."

"_I'm not gay_!" Willem sat up, and Ezio forced him to sit back down.

"Whatever," Ozzie sighed. "Isn't it ironic? We're always blamed for random shit that happens, and it's actually our fault this time."

"_Their_ fault," Noelle corrected.

"Shut up," Tristan muttered.

"L-leave her alone!" Zander exclaimed. "I'm sure siblings fight all the time! I mean, they're not _really_ siblings. And I've never had any siblings myself, so I wouldn't know, but—"

"Dude," Nyx rolled her eyes. "If you want to ask me out, just do it. This is getting annoying"

Zander turned bright red, and Tristan scowled at him. "Do it and you're dead"

"Don't you start!" Samantha exclaimed. "That trouble cost me the rest of the night. And I still didn't get a confession out of Canada"

"Confession to doing what?" Beth asked.

"It's a long story—" Samantha started.

"She things he's gay for Prussia," Ozzie said. "We saw it."

"Oh, just like Willem and Ezio?" Rena smirked.

"Not gay!" Willem snapped.

"We're getting off topic," Viola folded up the newspaper, putting it in her bag. "That was the first banquet for any of us, right? If they know we can't handle a party, why should they think we're able to handle a country?"

The group got silent, looking at either the ground or the sky. A couple of worried glances were exchanged. Apprentices were supposed to be more mature and calm than countries. They were supposed to be collected. They were supposed to be prepared and intelligent. However, recent actions seemed to tell the world that the only thirteen apprentices in existence weren't anything like that.

Mary perked up. "I guess what means we've gotta get better."

Samantha gave her a confused look. "What do you mean?"

"We've got another hundred or so years to get better at our jobs, don't we?" Mary smiled. "And there's always next year's banquet. We're just going to have to be nicer when that comes around."

"And not attack each other," Ezio nudged Tristan in the shoulder, and the boy laughed.

"Maybe we'd behave better if we were friends," Mary smiled. "You guys wanna get ice cream?"

"As long as you tell Greece I'm here, sure," Nyx said, and the other apprentices murmured in agreement. Nyx grabbed Zander's hand, and the boy turned bright red. Tristan then threw his arms around both of their necks and got in the middle of the two, and ended up directing Nyx away from the blonde Pole.

Being an apprentice was the most unloving and unforgiving job in the world. Humans will always look at you with a mixture of disgust and envy. Everything is your fault and rumors about you will hang around for hundreds of years. The only positive sides are the friendships.

The tightest bonds you could find were between the few apprentices that existed. They understood each other, and they confided in each other. Even when everyone else was too busy not understanding them, they had each other. And having twelve best friends was better than having the approval of millions of strangers.

"Hey, guys," Viola said. "So what if we're still in that fanfiction I was talking about a little while back, and this was just the sentimental ending—"

"Shut up, Viola"

* * *

_**Sorry this chapter took so long, I've been so busy. (*-.-)**_

_**OC credits:**_

_**Noelle, Rena, and Nyx: myself**_

_**Tristan: **_ShowMeTheStarsIn221B

_**Mary and Ozzie: **_TooBitter

_**Caralina: **_ThePersonofAwesomeness

_**Zander: **_theotakuat221b

_**Beth: **_Bookworm213

_**Samantha: **_Dixie C Jones

_**Williem and Ezio: **_sillypandalover91

_**Viola: **_The Magnetic Witch

_**In Shades of Blue,**_

_**Ninja**_

_***BAGPIPES EXIT!***_


End file.
